Interview with the gentlemen of tWoTcast

tWoTcast is a Wheel of Time podcast created several years ago by brothers Joe and Tom O’Hara, and Jono Coulborn, during a long drinking session. The rambling podcasts, skillfully edited by Joe’s wife, Lauren, initially focused on the works of Robert Jordan. His Wheel of Time series was reread and discussed in the first 100 episodes, and New Spring was covered in subsequent episodes.

After they completed the Wheel of Time, the tWoTcast crew began to cover other book series, such as those by Brandon Sanderson and Patrick Rothfuss, and have continued to conduct live shows with well-known guests at fantasy conventions, including JordanCon, held every April in Atlanta. This year’s tWoTcast guests to be hosted on two separate podcasts are Jason Denzel of Dragonmount and Maria Simons of Team Jordan. A Barmasters’ Tournament will also be featured, pitting the bartending skills of Alan Romanczuk of Team Jordan against Chip Moore, which should go over smashingly on an audio podcast.

Listeners may subscribe to the podcast at twotcast.com or through iTunes. Since we have no access to usage data, nor have any comments about the podcasts been posted, we can’t be certain anyone has ever listened to them. However, we feel it important to expose the WoT community to another unique WoT resource.

For those interested in learning more about the “brains” behind tWoTcast, we offer this interview for your consideration. Parents, we recommend you not allow your children to read this interview, as it could be injurious to developing minds and morals.

Bandersnatch Group: Let’s begin with an easy question. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened during one of your podcasts?

Tom - Probably the last third of literally every episode. By then I have usually…. over-served myself. In general, embarrassment isn’t a feeling we’re very familiar with.

Joe - We drunkenly decided to call Patrick Rothfuss, recently. Jono still had his phone number from coordinating with him during JordanCon Six and he actually answered, it did not go well.

Jono - Yeah... That was pretty awkward. To cap it off, it was a night or two before he announced his licensing rights were bought. So the poor guy probably thought the random number was actually a very important phone call. He was wrong.

BG: What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

Jono - I Just got engaged to a blowup doll after five years of dating.

Tom - I jumped onto a Navy vessel from the street in Savannah on St. Patricks Day once. Luckily I was just promptly escorted off of the boat and not tossed into the brig.

Joe - I stand by everything I’ve ever done!

BG: If you were stranded on a tropical island, which WoT book would you take with you, and why?

Tom - The first one? Perrin being lost in the woods with Egwene. My memory is hazy, but maybe there are some basic survival skill hints in there.

Joe - WINTER’S HEART probably, I love the “no One Power” fights in Far Madding and the end fight throw down while cleansing the male half of the source is f%#$ing awe inspiring. Can I say f%#$ing?

Jono - You cannot say f%#$ing. Nor can you do that on a deserted island if you're alone. So, I would say book nine is a solid choice: great book, a lot of cold weather to fool yourself on the tropical island, and Rand has coitus with Elayne.

Joe - Are you stealing my answer?!

Jono - Yes. Why do you think I waited to be last. I can’t think for myself!

BG: What else would you take with you?

Jono - Maybe a phone? How long am I on this island? I'm a ginger. So maybe sunscreen, too.

Tom - You can’t ask this question without setting limits. Because the first item I’d take based off this broad question is a boat.

Joe - You dickheads. Assume you can’t take that s%#$ with you. Obviously. A home distillery for the local vegetation. Booze and tWoT is all I need.

Jono - I still need sunscreen… but I want booze. How many items do I get?

BG: Which character in WoT do you most identify with, and why?

Jono - Rand. I have no idea who my father is, and I'm dubious about my mother.

Joe - Nyneave, because I am a stubborn, wool-headed bitch. Bitch, in the bad ass way of course.

Tom - Lanfear. I mean, have you seen my %#$& [Ed: bosom]?

BG: What do you think about when you’re alone in the bathroom?

Joe - My thoughts always wander to who that incredibly handsome man is staring back at me from the mirror.

Jono - Why is Joe staring at me in the bathroom window?

Tom - Why is the wifi so much worse in here? Download faster.

BG: What is the most endearing quality of your co-hosts?

Joe - Jono is perpetually in a good mood. Tom is perpetually in a shitty mood. its a good mixture.

Jono - For being a partial absentee, whenever Tom, provided he's in a good mood, is actually present, the three of us can't stop making jokes to one up the other. Probably annoying for our listeners, but there it is. I have nothing good to say about Joe. Except we play footsie.

Tom - Putting up with each other. For over six years at this point. How exhausting.

BG: What most annoys you about them?

Tom - They consistently want to read things and record these podcasts.

Joe - Jono’s love of the worst possible music and Tom loves not showing up for the podcast.

Jono - Joe drinks cider sometimes. Tom lives in a different state. These are major transgressions.

BG: What team would win in a barroom brawl if the One Power could not be used: Mat, Graendal, and Padin Fain; or Perrin, Faile, and Brandon Sanderson? Support your argument.

Joe - I suspect if Sanderson threw a punch his bones would shatter like glass. Still Graendal with no One Power to compulse someody’s ass is useless also. Perrin is ferocious and Faile is badass and fighting together I think they would defeat a Mat/Fain team up due to their inability to function as partners.

Jono - Mat, Graendal, and Fain. First off, nothing says Fain doesn't have his dagger since it's unrelated to the Power. Second, I'm sure he wants revenge for how badly Sanderson screwed his section of book fourteen, so he's going to have a chip on his shoulder big enough to take on that whole team. I love Sanderson and think he did great work for tWoT, but man... I didn't love how that went down.

Tom - The lack of the One Power only disables one of these people. A barroom brawl is basically a basketball game if you think about it real hard, and Perrin is obviously Teen Wolf. And werewolves don’t lose at basketball games. I’m relatively certain Michael Jordan was a werewolf. So Perrin.

Joe - You mean Michael Jordan Fox.

BG: Min Farshaw walks into Easing the Badger carrying a dead badger. Finish the story.

[Ed: Totally censored.]

BG: That marriage between Mat and Tuon-- is it going to last?

Joe - Of course, Mat is nothing if not loyal. For all his complaints hes a stand up guy, he stayed with his friend even when he thought he was basically the devil. Then again, his wife may have him assassinated on a whim.

Jono - Probably not. Mat likes a nice, curvy girl; something to hold on to at night and twice during the day. Tuon is decidedly not that. He'll give it a go for a couple years, and unless her pregnancy weight amplifies that bosom, he's out at a tavern copping a feel.

Tom - Despite Mat’s best efforts, most likely.

BG: If you could wave a magic wand, how would you have ended the series?

Jono - Kill more characters. Flesh out more emotional scenes like Moiraine meeting anyone... Maybe really explain a lot of the unexplained issues, like the Pipe.

Joe - Waaaaaaaay more death of the main characters. Too many of them lived, we’re all grown ups, we could’ve handled it. Specifically Elayne. That bint.

Tom - I wouldn’t have. Bring on Book 48.

[Ed: Thank you for not riffing on the term "magic wand."]

BG: And lastly, who is Nakomi?

Jono - Why don't you tell me, Mr. Continuity Editor! Maybe Verin from another world? Maybe some reborn hero who's only heroic deed is asking annoying questions? I don't know...

Joe - Rand’s ghost mommy!

Tom - Pretty sure she’s that old lady from Brother Bear that turns people into bears.
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