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Mobile Tech Reviewer

A mobile tech reviewer contacted me today threatening that if I didn't "fix" carbon and give him a refund, him and his YouTube channel owner friends would all write a bad review.

Email starts around 4-5 responses in, as +Ray Walters had been handling the support request before it got pushed up to me.

I probably shouldn't handle app support.

He also said I have a huge ego. Well, at least that much is true.
Thomas Larsen's profile photoJulian Bigge's profile photoAmon RA's profile photoKoushik Dutta (Koush)'s profile photo
I don't miss retail at all, let alone being a store manager.  At least I got to look at people who were being assholes, having to do it over the internet has got to suck.  My sympathies.

FYI, these are the same people who can't get a camera to focus and wanted me to pay them hundreds of dollars because they have blurry photos of their kid's party.  Uh, no.
There is nothing that I hate more than users who feel obligated to spread negativity because they do not understand what they are talking about.
The beauty of being an indie dev is that you can actually tell people to fuck right off if you feel like it and wear the "repercussions" yourself. I love that. 

I've been threatened in the same way by a newspaper journalist covering my old band. People like that are hilariously fun to troll. 
I do want to say for the record that I worked with this guy over the course of 6 or so emails, was VERY polite and tried to be as helpful as possible. When I reached the limit of what I knew to help with, I elevated. His knock on me was amusing at best.
Your app should work the way I expect it to work not the way you explained that it works, expect my negative review on my YouTube :P
Yeah sorry +Ray Walters I forgot that poorly informed bitching is more fun when you add insults to the mix ;) 
I thought your response had just the right amount of ego.  Each point was backed up with fact.  Loved the read.  Thanks for sharing.
I'm sure this nobody has a huge readership on his tech blog. 

*rolls eyes*

Good on you for being polite and cutting. 
+Ashley Esqueda i'm going to close down my social media accounts and hide because of it. I am going to cook BBQ all day and wallow in the sauce. 
You know, this made my day. And I thought I had jerks to deal with. Nicely done, Koush.
Honestly, after helping Koush with this stuff, I will be VERY careful how I talk to devs in all ways ever again. Some of the stuff that comes our way is pretty downright rude first thing.
You handled it well, Kouch.  
I'm going to make it a point to check your reviews for douchebags and flag them as spam and hopefully others will as well.   .
this is not very uncommon (bad reviews by idiots) and honestly as much as I appreciate all of Koush's work and exciting Social Media posts, I almost skipped it over this last one due to boredom from silly users........ then I saw the picture of William Wallace at the bottom. That shit is EPIC and won me over to read the entire story. Twice. Silly threats are silly threats. Reviews would be boring if not for some morons doing them as well. Good luck Koush, Rock on. (I'm still laughing at both the picture and the story)
+Ray Walters Can I also quit my social media and wallow in ribs with you? Because that sounds pretty awesome, actually. :)
What's probably the most humorous is the fact that the person in question believes in the power of the small Android media outlet. I had a rude awakening in this when I went from Android Guys to My editors there were like, "Which Android blog? They all kind of run together." I was dumbfounded because I thought I was big stuff coming from that site. Heh, now seeing it in action with this douche canoe makes me chuckle.
What a douche. I understood the app when i bought the it and was supporting you which i am proud to do with any great developer. People shouldn't buy apps and expect refunds if they have no idea what the app does. Just my opinion. Thanks for all you do Koush. Some of us do appreciate the hard work you do. Thanks. 
+Greg Hortin You put the "D" in Douche with a capital... You have zero subscribers and 30 views on your YouTube acct.??? You're really picking out the wrong people to be fucking with....
Sheesh, there's a freebie version of it to test, it's explained how it works, he gets support, and still throws threats? I'd love to know who this was for when they start the youtube smear campaign so more info can be added to the posts (though it's likely they'll be locking their own comments down!).  Seriously unprofessional.  (And I really can't see the issue with what Koush posted to him for the reviewer to get all upset, seems more than reasonable to me).
The best bit is definitely the person wildly overestimating their status as a "journalist".
Great response with the final meme image. +1 for you sir!
Hah.. I love how he thinks you even had a reputation to tarnish for providing good support!
Awww why did you edit out who it was? No fun.
All that over $5? Skip tomorrow's coffee and quit being so butt hurt you didn't look into what the app did...
+Chris Bridges While I can't say that I've never been a douche before (we all have our moments) I can say that I've never been an iPhone user....

+Jack Seeley My YouTube account is mainly for sharing stupid videos with family, as such subscribers and views don't mean much to me. Also I have no real intention of using YouTube to "fuck" with Devs who's apps I purchased an left 5 star reviews for....

I'm sorry that you both found my sarcasm a little to subtle to pick up, I always try to include :P and ;) to make my sarcasm more obvious but I know that sarcasm like jokes don't always work in written form. 
I wouldn't sweat it, Angry Birds has over 64,000 1 star reviews and that hasn't stopped Rovio from purchasing a fleet of yachts. 

Plus, someone should explain the difference between it's and its to the "journalist."
That guy has read too many yelp stories.  I don't know why you hide his name as google does require you to have your name on the reviews now.
I think +Koushik Dutta needs to have a yacht counting contest with this dude.

We all know how that one will end.
you pissed off a journalist?! Don't you know they can make up whatever bullshit they want and tap your phone? IFF his editor is on his side, Koush, he'll be allowed to write that shit up!
haha, Koush vs. Douche.
What an opportunity to "pass on to the developer" he have here, hope this 'gonna-drop-the-bad-review-hammer-on-ya-head' badass will comment on your post, if not done already (tl;dr all comments).

That just made my day.
+Koushik Dutta gives absolutely 0 fucks as he should. He writes great shit. You dont like it? Leave and get an iCrap or jitterbug. 
I'm amazed at the sense of entitlement and the thinly veiled threats.. Heck I've paid for cwm touch multiple times just because I appreciate all the hard work.
Look at it from the other side, he's practically offering you a glowing review for $5.
Amon RA
From a non tech savvy customer point of view I understand this reviewer. Users don't like to be explained in technical detail why something in an app they purchased is not working all the time (re some apps need to re-downloaded). They paid for a backup and restore solution, not for a backup and re-download solution. The average Joe has no interest in reading how adb backup actually works, it just has to work, always. Customers first, always... (even if they are wrong, rude or non tech savvy). 
Well, as an idie dev of your level +Koushik Dutta you can afford a huge ego :) never mind those people who don't know what they're talking about :D
Amon RA
+Alexander Courtness would you hire a dev or a customer support guy that posts paying customer email exchange on social networks to have a laugh? Come the fuck on, really? ;-) 
Amon RA
+Ray Walters +Koushik Dutta I'm no PR guy, but posting a paying customer's email exchange for fun on G+ isn't really contributing to a good karma/image... even if the customer is wrong, rude, whatever. Things like this stick in people's mind and can ruin a good reputation. Just my 2 cents.
+Amon RA This wasn't a customer interaction.

This was about a "professional" reviewer/blogger/youtube guy trying to leverage his nonexistent media following to get some impossible result via thinly veiled threats.

That's not something that I will respond well to. Threats and extortion won't be tolerated, reputation be damned. Then he criticized +Ray Walters for being nothing but nice to him.

Had it been a normal customer that just wanted a refund, no problem. That would have been granted.