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Gregor Tyler
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Actual conversation.

Me: Hi, its Gregor here, I'm opening your shop tomorrow, where shall I pick up the keys from?

Her: they're here.

Me: yeah, but I need to pick them up from somewhere to get in.

Her: well they'll be here in the shop. They're in the drawer.

Me: (long pause) but I need the keys to get in.

Her: shouts they are here!

Me: I get that. But, I can't get in the shop to get the keys, WITHOUT the keys.

Her: well what do you want me to do?

Me: (inside his head screams ' take them fucking somewhere!!') I don't know, how do you suggest I get in in the morning?

Her: I dunno.

Me: (wants to throttle her) look, I need to get into the shop, I need the keys, but I can't get in to get the keys, without the keys. I need the keys. The keys are the thing here. Just leave the keys with someone. Please.

Her: (to someone else and muffled) have you got the keys? (she puts hands over phone) mmmmmfh hrmph mmmf lrmph mmmmnmnphf?) Can I call you back in half an hour george?

Me: its GREGOR.

Her: sorry, Gregory, can I call you back in half an hour?

Me: (loses the will to live) ok. Remember the keys though.

Her: the what?

Me: (hangs up)

So I wake up in a blind panic at 1030am and I was supposed to be up at 6am to go to work.

I'm currently almost half way there. I should have opened the shop at 840am. I sit here on the platform at Canning Town tube station, trying to think of an excuse but I decided that the best course of action is to just 'fess up.

I've picked up a copy of the 'Metro' newspaper to distract me from the inevitable rushing around and people waiting to place bets when I get there.

That's when I saw the fine print in the top right hand corner.

'Thursday, September 1, 2011

Not Friday. It's my fucking day off.

I'm in the foulest of moods. Like really really foul. Be warned, and don't take anything to heart.

Not smoking. Day one, hour 12

Culled half my facebook friends through sheer spite and anger just because I want a cigarette. But I did warn them the night before that it was going to happen. Some may have slipped through the net, if they did, I'll get them next time.

The first thing I ever do in the morning, before anything else, is have a cigarette. The second thing is have another. I'm crawling the walls.

Did I mention I'm in a bad mood?

Feel free to take my mind off it by fucking off and jumping off a cliff and landing on a big pile of rusty spikes.

Love, Gregor. x

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How's this for a bruise!

Put me in your circles of magicians, cool tv show watchers, recipe sharers, youtubers, Londoners, animation appreciators, Gooners, picture takers, ex gardeners, lateral thinking puzzlers and pub landlords.

And Gregors.

Let me know which circles you wanna be in too.

I'd hate to post stuff to you that you wished I hadn't.

Eg. How To Rick Roll Somebody

Who here watches 'Breaking Bad'?

Dying at an early age due to self destruction and an overdose doesn't make you a legend.

It makes you a loser at life.

And don't any of you kiddies forget that.

Sky News: 'Alien' Monkey Causes Panic In Chinese Village

Wow. Another fantastic security/privacy feature I just found on here.

I saw a post by someone that had the post limited to extended circles, it was just a funny .gif, and I wanted to share it as 'Public'. I had a warning show up saying 'This person shared this in certain circles, think before you share'. It was a funny gif, so i went ahead not thinking they would mind, and it wouldn't let me post it.

They care about what you want shared and stick to it.

Now THAT is consideration. I +1 Google+ for that.

+Mandy Molinski It was the spock one. Love it.

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How observant are you really?
colour changing card trick
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