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Gregor Tyler
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Gregor Tyler

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Actual conversation.

Me: Hi, its Gregor here, I'm opening your shop tomorrow, where shall I pick up the keys from?

Her: they're here.

Me: yeah, but I need to pick them up from somewhere to get in.

Her: well they'll be here in the shop. They're in the drawer.

Me: (long pause) but I need the keys to get in.

Her: shouts they are here!

Me: I get that. But, I can't get in the shop to get the keys, WITHOUT the keys.

Her: well what do you want me to do?

Me: (inside his head screams ' take them fucking somewhere!!') I don't know, how do you suggest I get in in the morning?

Her: I dunno.

Me: (wants to throttle her) look, I need to get into the shop, I need the keys, but I can't get in to get the keys, without the keys. I need the keys. The keys are the thing here. Just leave the keys with someone. Please.

Her: (to someone else and muffled) have you got the keys? (she puts hands over phone) mmmmmfh hrmph mmmf lrmph mmmmnmnphf?) Can I call you back in half an hour george?

Me: its GREGOR.

Her: sorry, Gregory, can I call you back in half an hour?

Me: (loses the will to live) ok. Remember the keys though.

Her: the what?

Me: (hangs up)


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Gregor Tyler

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So I wake up in a blind panic at 1030am and I was supposed to be up at 6am to go to work.

I'm currently almost half way there. I should have opened the shop at 840am. I sit here on the platform at Canning Town tube station, trying to think of an excuse but I decided that the best course of action is to just 'fess up.

I've picked up a copy of the 'Metro' newspaper to distract me from the inevitable rushing around and people waiting to place bets when I get there.

That's when I saw the fine print in the top right hand corner.

'Thursday, September 1, 2011

Not Friday. It's my fucking day off.
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oops!!
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Gregor Tyler

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How's this for a bruise!
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You're best knob of all knobs. 
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Gregor Tyler

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Wow. Another fantastic security/privacy feature I just found on here.

I saw a post by someone that had the post limited to extended circles, it was just a funny .gif, and I wanted to share it as 'Public'. I had a warning show up saying 'This person shared this in certain circles, think before you share'. It was a funny gif, so i went ahead not thinking they would mind, and it wouldn't let me post it.

They care about what you want shared and stick to it.

Now THAT is consideration. I +1 Google+ for that.

+Mandy Molinski It was the spock one. Love it.
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Me neither. I think i'ts good anyway, it means that what you personally specify to be shared can only be shared that way.
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Gregor Tyler

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How bizarre.

I was just walking back from the shop, passing two kids, who could have been no more than nine years old, graffiti-ing a litter bin.

One of them turned to me and said ' Mister, howd' ya spell eeva?'

'How do I spell what?'

'EEVA! Howd'ya spell it?'

'OH! Either. Umm.. E-I-T-H-E-R.'

'Cheers mate'

And on I walked.

Now, this threw many questions into my head. For a start, I must admit that I was impressed by their apparent thirst for knowledge, the only words I ever scrawled anywhere when I was a kid you couldn't ask adults how they were spelled, for a clip round the earhole would soon follow.

But what on earth were they writing? What could you possibly graffiti that used the word 'either' in it?

'I either love Man Utd. or Chelsea, one can't decide'

Or

'Debbie takes it up either hole'

I don't get it.

And why care about how you spell it? The beauty of graffiti is it's misspellings. 'I luv banas cuz dey is yeller' is one I can never forget for that simple fact alone.

And have they no shame? I could have given them a clip round the above mentioned earhole for defacing council property.

The question that beleaguers me the most though is, am I now an accessory to vandalism?
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I would say so! ;o) We had graffiti in the boys toilets today - lozer & pise off being 2 of the spelling gems!
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Gregor Tyler

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I always wondered why my father kept telling me I was a bit 'backwards' when I was young.

I just found my birth certificate and it says 'Roger G. Tyler' on it.
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Have him in circles
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Gregor Tyler

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I'm in the foulest of moods. Like really really foul. Be warned, and don't take anything to heart.

Not smoking. Day one, hour 12

Culled half my facebook friends through sheer spite and anger just because I want a cigarette. But I did warn them the night before that it was going to happen. Some may have slipped through the net, if they did, I'll get them next time.

The first thing I ever do in the morning, before anything else, is have a cigarette. The second thing is have another. I'm crawling the walls.

Did I mention I'm in a bad mood?

Feel free to take my mind off it by fucking off and jumping off a cliff and landing on a big pile of rusty spikes.

Love, Gregor. x
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Happy to see you'll probably be living that much longer. Seriously. We've got more videos to make yet.
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Gregor Tyler

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Put me in your circles of magicians, cool tv show watchers, recipe sharers, youtubers, Londoners, animation appreciators, Gooners, picture takers, ex gardeners, lateral thinking puzzlers and pub landlords.

And Gregors.

Let me know which circles you wanna be in too.

I'd hate to post stuff to you that you wished I hadn't.

Eg. How To Rick Roll Somebody
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Put me under "can't garden worth a half cent".

You cook? What? Since when? ;)
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Who here watches 'Breaking Bad'?
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Calissa Leigh's profile photoPhil Dey's profile photoGregor Tyler's profile photo
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You cant see other peoples circles, only your own. You are in two now. By the way, you should add Breaking Bad in sparks,
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Gregor Tyler

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Dying at an early age due to self destruction and an overdose doesn't make you a legend.

It makes you a loser at life.

And don't any of you kiddies forget that.
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Couldn't agree more.
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Gregor Tyler

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Sky News: 'Alien' Monkey Causes Panic In Chinese Village
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201107416035475
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How can they be so sure it's not an alien.
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Gregor Tyler

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How observant are you really?
colour changing card trick
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Have him in circles
51 people
Roger Maddy's profile photo
Greg Lane's profile photo
Tim Lander-Boyce's profile photo
Mike Pearce's profile photo
Laura Lee Woods's profile photo
Phil Dey's profile photo
Katherine Stone's profile photo
Amanda Lakso's profile photo
Dan Lock's profile photo
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