Me: Hi, its Gregor here, I'm opening your shop tomorrow, where shall I pick up the keys from?
Her: they're here.
Me: yeah, but I need to pick them up from somewhere to get in.
Her: well they'll be here in the shop. They're in the drawer.
Me: (long pause) but I need the keys to get in.
Her: shouts they are here!
Me: I get that. But, I can't get in the shop to get the keys, WITHOUT the keys.
Her: well what do you want me to do?
Me: (inside his head screams ' take them fucking somewhere!!') I don't know, how do you suggest I get in in the morning?
Her: I dunno.
Me: (wants to throttle her) look, I need to get into the shop, I need the keys, but I can't get in to get the keys, without the keys. I need the keys. The keys are the thing here. Just leave the keys with someone. Please.
Her: (to someone else and muffled) have you got the keys? (she puts hands over phone) mmmmmfh hrmph mmmf lrmph mmmmnmnphf?) Can I call you back in half an hour george?
Me: its GREGOR.
Her: sorry, Gregory, can I call you back in half an hour?
Me: (loses the will to live) ok. Remember the keys though.
Her: the what?
Me: (hangs up)