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David Bledsoe
1,690 followers -
NYC based photographer specializing in Photojournalist and Street Photography.
NYC based photographer specializing in Photojournalist and Street Photography.

1,690 followers
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Better late than never never land, get it on with the #LostBoys !

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This week we discuss the ouster of Former National Security Advisor Mike “Call Me Maybe” Flynn

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On the show this week we discuss the ouster of Former National Security Advisor Mike “Call Me Maybe” Flynn

*Highly Theoretical Spoilers for the Croaking Fane*

February 15th 2017

“The One with the Perverted Pepes”

When last we left the Edgar Twill Players, they’d just watched a man stick his hand in a frog’s mouth and have it chopped off only see it regrow through the awesome Power of the Sovereign, Praise the Sovereign Fritz, Praise HIM! After tickling the Frog’s ass and making him giggle, they managed to gain access to the loot hidden inside AND give Fritz a hand, how own as a matter of fact. What does one DO with a third hand? Well, aside from growing a third arm to improve your ski boxing, we decided to stick it on the end of a sword and make a really COOL back scratcher!

The party continued their search of the Temple of the Pepes, finding a disgusting, bearded, bloated figure moaning in the corner, Edgar suspected he might be the High Priests of the Frogs, SteveBannon, from the disgusting face and writhing tiny racist tadpoles that exploded off of him the moment the party mentioned their not being born in the Temple. Now, you might think several hundred wriggling frog things might pose a small problem for just seven low level adventurers, and you would right, until you remember that these are EVIL frog things and we had Eric the Cleric, the mightiest Priest of the Sovereign in the lands, indeed the ONLY priest of the Sovereign in the Lands--Praise him Fritz! Eric the Cleric nee Roscoe cast a Banishment Spell and backed that frog ass up in the corner and popped the frogs like a Rapper pops bottles of Champagne at the Club--Rapper was a Thief Edgar knew who liked to knock people on their head and steal their gold teeth--strange dude, liked to rhyme. After going all Orville Frogenpopper, they found their way around to the dark gloomy corridor of Goo--or at least their was something gooey at the end of the gloomy corridor which attacked them. Think of a giant glob of Phlegm with eyes. Antis the Terrible knew what do when attacked by something that comes from a sneeze and zapped it with his Signature Spell: Scorching Ray, named after the Wizard who hung out with Rapper and carried his spells around disks he would spin two circular tables and cast by having them make strange scratching sounds. Antis’ spell split the goo in two and charred it down a skim of scum on the temple floor. The smell was terrible, it was like Edgar’s feet. We stole it’s stuff.

Trelana decided it would be a good idea to open a dark hole in the floor, revealing a pit full of croaking toads, each booming out their sepulchral message in an endless litany BUD WHY ZER over and over again until we sealed the hole and ran away desperate seeking a craft brew. After failing to find the magic words to open the treasure room door in the stuck together pages of the magazines underneath the bunks of Frog Priests, they thought this terrible place had done all it could to destroy their sanity. Unfortunately for the Party we would find them shortly in the Room of the Perverted Pepe's--below the temple proper was perhaps the most disturbing thing this group of doughty Murder Hobos ever witnessed: the room of Frog Fornication! Seriously, some sort of boudoir dedicated to people getting they freak on with Frogs! Now, Edgar had seen some hard core pornograph in his day, indeed he had starred in a few traveling shows during his youth when he needed money but nothing in his life prepared him from what they found in that room--twisted writhing frescoes of humans copulating with various frogs, all of them wearing red hats with mystical sigils sewn on them explaining how they would make “America” great again, presumably by boinking batrachians! While searching the frog fornication foyer, Trelana made a discovery, that discovery being when you are in a room dedicated to people committing unspeaking sex acts with froggy demons, DO NOT OPEN ANY BOTTLES! What happens next may shock you, it certainly shocked Jug who has never lain with a woman. Trelana experienced what could best be described as “Artificially Inspired Urges of the Naughty Kind”, stripped off her clothes and began writhing in ecstasy on the floor of the Frog F**k Room. It was AWFUL, her toned naked person rolling and moaning, desperately pleading for the party to take her in manly ways. It took three people to keep Edgar from showing her why they also call him the Halfling God of Pleasing Women. Her loss.

While Trey was getting her Barry White on, the party was attacked by their own looted treasure, which most of us thought was just rude. After passing an awkward night where everyone pretended they hadn't just seen a party member Get Jiggy with themselves after whiffing a Frog Aphrodisiac they continued their search for stuff to steal,breaking into the weapons vault of the Temple to find the coolest damn treasure in the place. There in the wooden racks of junk were WAVY SWORDS! Two perfectly Halfling sized Kris short swords!! WAVY SWORDS! Dude, do you know badass Edgar looks waving wavy swords? This will become a Defining Character Trademark!

After finding a room filled with giant frogs that were clearly too hard to kill, the Party decided discretion is better part of keeping your stolen loot they left the screaming pathetic human begging for the help to the mercy of the Horny Toads and tried to exit the temple booty in hand only to be confronted by the Giant Stone Toad Guardian of the Pepes--the winged toad of whatever the hell that name of this dumb Frog God is. Now, things were looking grim for the party, exits blocked, giant stone toad immune to WAVY SWORDS and Gorn slowly turning into a Toad himself--yeah that was happening but we were kind of pretending it wasn’t. After several rounds of combat where we’d kicked some stone toad ass but really weren’t getting anywhere Antis the Terrible zapped it with Scorching Ray’s Funky Beats and Eric the Cleric nailed it with a Banishment spell and due to an interesting quirk in the rules the Stone Frog could not longer attack them because it was impossible for it do anything other than sulk and slowly burn in the corner. Roscoe and Antis defeated the God by doing what good adventurers always do, viciously exploit a loophole the Creator did not foresee when Writing the Adventure. Praise the Sovereign Fritz, you praise him!

The part headed back to the Inn of Last Resort, loot in tow, knowing more about each other than we did before, particularly about Trelana who is LOT kinkier than they imagined and Gorn slowly turning into a frog. Tune in next time when we find out if Edgar can make Wavy Swords a thing, if Jug will finally know the pleasures of the flesh, if Antis’ new album with Rapper and Scorching Ray makes the Billboard Hot 100, if Fritz’s Third Hand Brand Back Scratchers becomes available on Etsy, if Roscoe new spell will suddenly “disappear” because the Sovereign finds it inconvenient to the Plot, is Gorn a Frog and whether or not Trelana finds out about the pouch of Frog Aphrodisiacs in Edgar’s possession. (Cue Barry White music)




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I apologize in advance for this show, now that it is done--this is FUCKED UP!

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All the #AlternativeFacts you can stomach in this week's show!

Fans of Stephen King's the Stand will understand this show, see you all in Las Vegas!

NO SPOILERS The Emerald Enchanter Strikes Back (Again) > Drums > Space > Escape From the Purple Planet > The Croaking Fane (Because honestly, this is so strange it couldn't POSSIBLY spoil anything)

When we last we left our doughty band of heroes they were trapped on a distant planet, just barely escaped from the clutches of primitive beasts who would use them for gladiatorial games. You know, just a regular Tuesday for the Edgar Twill Players. Winding their way through the black catacombs beneath the arena, their beloved companion Joey mysteriously disappeared and had not returned next week as Dr. Drake Ramoray's twin! After rescuing a disturbing forthright prisoner who promised to help the escape AND to kill them as soon as convenient, they’d managed to locate the lair of the beast suspected of stealing away their beloved Must See TV Friend. In fit of Zero Level Bravery, Traylanna the Gambler dove into the black pool and emerged with the location of the lair AND a shiny silver device that Trickle Down the Disturbingly Honest called a “Ray Gun”.

The decision was made to send a scouting party into the depths to rescue Joey, Edgar, Traylanna and Jug dove into the darkness and emerged into an inky subterranean cave where only Edgar’s Halfling eyes could make anything...unfortunately the only thing they could make out was a ten foot tall clawed monster reaching out to the kill them all. Slashing Edgar across the chest and ruining his Mary McGregor Torn Between Two Lover’s Tour 1976 t-shirt, it was a COLLECTORS ITEM!!!--the party panicked, well ACTUALLY Jug panicked, peed himself and dove back into the water to get “Help”. Thinking fast, Edgar snatched Ronald the Ray Gun and fired wildly toward the creature who helpfully leaped into the path of the blazing bolt of light, and then ran like Jug toward the back of the cave. In the brief light of the blast, they spotted Joey who’d finally answered the question of how he was doing with “half eaten” he was dead. We knew And we knows we can't save him and we knows we never will There's just this empty place inside of us that only he could fill.

The two brave party members decided the best way to honor Joey’s memory was leave his body there to decompose and escaped the lair as fast as they could and informed Trickle Down we would be leaving. Now.

True to his word, the rescued murderous raider lead from the depths to the parking lot where his ship waited. There were two immediate problems with Trickle Down’s Ship. The first was is was a 1973 Chevy Malibu with four bald tires and enough rust damage to render it see through, guarantee the battery was dead but none of that mattered because there, trying to slim jim the locks on the Malibu, was our old friend the Emerald Enchanter and nine of his green gem goons. How many times are we going to have to kill this guy? His goons charged the party while Roscoe the Cleric of the Sovereign cried out in a mighty voice invoking the power of his weak ass god “SLEEP” which caused two yawns and so eye crusties on the Green Goons who proceeded to kick the party’s asses, killing Gorn the Leather Daddy Dwarf in the first blow! Antis the Terrible Wizard frantically tried to do a Three Fer and cast Sleep on the Emerald Enchanter because hey, it worked the other two times--but this time Emerald ready with the Circlet of No Doze, a handy magical item the Judge invented to keep us from doing to the Enchanter what we’d done so easily before. Things were looking grim for the Party, “TPK” was uttered by Edgar who’d grimly seen this scenario go down when he was adventuring with his people in the Kingdom of Kaskia.

What the party and the Judge had failed to take into account was one Brave Zero Level Gambler with a Ray Gun, who fired wildly into the melee. The searing bolt of energy zapped into the green gem goons like a lights off a disco ball, and before we could say “We love the nightlife” the Emerald Enchanter caught the ricochet bolt in his belly and disintegrated his last words “I Loved...to boogie” and he was gone.

Trickle Down loaded the party in the Malibu, put something called an “8 Track” into the strange machine and hurtled them all through time and space while singing along with something called the Bee Gees. It was the most frightening sound Edgar Twill had ever heard, what is worse he COULD tell by the way he walked the singer was a woman’s man, and had no time to talk!

Returning to their homeworld they grabbed their stolen possession from the trunk of the Malibu, where the Enchanter had placed them contained within a very useful magical bag good for holding things, and set about finding out where they hell they were and what the next thing they had to do might be. After all their home was destroyed, they lost most of their money, they lost Joey but they gained a friend and badass ray gun blasting warrior! They also gained a new appreciation for something Trickle Down called “Disco”.

Stopping in the Adventure Hook tavern, they learned of a cult of Nazi Frog Worshippers--which honestly was not a reference to contemporary politics, just freakish serendipity. They set off to loot the Temple of Pepe, fought some Flying Frogs and watched the latest in the long of Thieves do something really stupid by sticking his hand into a metal frog to get the treasure and having his hand lopped off. Way to go Fritz! At least when Edgar does something that stupid his eyes suddenly become disembodied and follow the party around blinking furiously! Naturally, Roscoe the Cleric grew his hand back by forcing Fritz to convert to the Sovereign...I guess Fritz had no choice after all when it comes to loving with easy touch, you don’t want a thief with a no hand!

What will happen next to our brave band of Murder Hobos? Will they decide to give up this adventuring life, slaughter some innocent farmers and take their land to grow medicinal marijuana? Will Edgar pursue his dream of bringing “disco” to their home world? Will Traylanna finally figure out she’s fallen in with a band of idiots and leave the party to find some real heroes? Will Antis get over losing Joey, his bracelet buddy? Will Gorn remember to use his Mighty Deeds? Tune in next time because:
Oh, that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh

+Jonathan Perkel +Gabriel Meister








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This episode streams into your soul like a golden shaft in the dark! #PeeGate
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