*VERY MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE EMERALD ENCHANTER*
Hirot, it is me you’re looking for?
When last we left the Edgar Twill Players, they’d just won friends and influenced Chaos Lords to hate them in the Courts of Chaos and were unceremoniously dumped on the road outside of their home in Hirot, notably not rich, nor powerful and not laden with magical items. Same as it ever was. As they made their way into town, the soon discovered their short jaunt lasted over two years as the Giant Tortoise turned. During that time, thinking them dead, their “friends” in Hirot had promptly sold off all their worldly possessions, in short not only did Lobelia Sackville Baggins get all their spoons, she got the silverware drawer, the kitchen and whole damn house, tore it down and opened a Ye Olde Elevenes and Sevensies in the spot. As noted Assassin Martin Blank once said, you can’t go home again, but apparently you can shop there.
To make matters worse, their local Jarl was replaced by a orange hued troll with bright white hair, who promises to build a wall around Hirot to keep the Green Gem Golems out and make the Emerald Enchanter pay for it--guess who he wants to be deliver the invoice? That’s right, the Edgar Twill Players. Sad.
Having no money, no home and nothing better to do, they ventured forth to confront the dead beat Enchanter who was clearly not sending the best people to Hirot, though some we assume, were good Golems. They approaches his Citadel to find two large, angry Emerald creations guarding the place, who charged them like angry old man at a kid with dreadlocks, killing Antis the Terrible Wizard and generally making people look silly until Edgar Twill Halfling God of War dove into the fray, short swords blurring into their stony flesh, single handedly shearing the limbs from a green automaton and turning it into a pile of flesh and blood, because apparently you can’t make Hirot great again without killing a bunch of village and turning them into monsters. Disgraceful.
Penetrating the Citadel, they were attacked by a 4th Grade Art Project animated by an evil will and a terrible sense of aesthetic, whipping crudely painted tiles off wall and swirling them around like a mouse in a blender killing Antis the Terrible Wizard and embarrassing everyone until Gorn the Leather Daddy Dwarf came forward and smacked that bitch up with a broad side of ax and shield, using a dance move he lifted from Sir MC of Hammer in the 80’s. The Crudely Drawn Tile Monster fought on, but finally realized he could not touch this and died.
They almost managed to serve the bill to the Emerald Enchanter by dropping a Palantir on his head, but Antis the Terrible died of shame when he missed and then Emmy sicked some green skulls on the crew and they ran--straight into a hallway where the walls attacked them, killing Antis the Terrible, killing Wolf the Thief and some jackass hit Edgar in the back of the head with a ha
nd axe they CLAIMED they were throwing at the wall monsters--funny how the Wall Monsters were in the WALLS while Edgar was in the MIDDLE OF THE HALL. Funny. After killing most of the Wall Monsters and running away, they ran into a another Green Golem, which killed Antis before being cut down.
Joey again proved himself the consummate warrior by posing heroically on the corpses of his foes. Roscoe the Cleric of the Sovereign managed to piss off his God by repeatedly saving Anti the Terrible Wizard from his constant dying and nagging to heal the battered party--apparently healing a Chaotic Halfling with an AXE WOUND IN HIS HEAD was just TOO MUCH to bear and Roscoe had to sacrifice some artwork he apparently kept in his underwear for reasons best left unexplored, and Jugg, oh Jugg, how they do it in the Shutter Mountains is NOT how we do it in Hirot--it just makes you look silly. +Gabriel Meister +Jonathan Perkel