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Adult Children of Divorce and Their Perspective

Adult children of divorce have their perspectives about their childhood. Although growing up in a divorced family is unique to each child they seem to have a common thread that makes them no different than any other child in the world. They love both their mother and their father and just want to know that the end of a marriage is not the end of the world.

If you are contemplating a divorce or separation the Divorce Attorneys at Rappleye &Rappleye serving the Jackson area can help.

For children, it can be extremely difficult to navigate life and feelings during a family break-up so there are a few things for parents going through a divorce to keep in mind. As Parents wonder and worry about the children they must assure them that they are loved and it’s not their fault. Adult children of divorce may look back and always wonder. Who wouldn’t?

Parents try and hide or mask their pain from their children for good reason. They don’t want to upset the kids. Kids are smarter than you think and pick up on the “faking it” defense mechanism. In turn, kids learn how to “fake it” because they don’t want to be a burden to their parents. This can make parents feel as if the kids don’t need them, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Years of masking can lead to isolation. If you need emotional support, ask for help, this will show your kids that is ok to get help, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Treating your kids as “messengers” or therapists is highly resented, especially as an adult when they look back on their childhood. Your children need you to be a parent, not a victim. A much healthier and smarter way to continue a relationship with your kids and not your ex is to perhaps use divorce as a lesson, in forgiving others, accepting and loving others despite their imperfections or even setting personal boundaries. Find a respectful way to communicate without involving the kids in a negative way. They will never forget it.

Also, don’t be the parent that lets things slide. This can be a common behavior as a single parent trying to do it all and ignoring the day to day discipline that a parent should enforce. It could be enforcing household chores, monitoring screen time and eating dinner together. All things that are easy to let go. Kids remember and seek family moments and in the long run don’t need you to be a friend but rather a parent.

Keeping these few things in mind, children of divorce will grow up and remember that you were there for them and tried your best. If you are contemplating divorce or separation Rappleye & Rappleye Family Law can help. We understand that every client has their own unique circumstances, and we will work closely with you to pursue the best possible course of action. With over 6o years’ experience our Family Law Firm can help guide you and work to obtain favorable results, so that you can rebuild your future.

Divorce doesn’t have to be about an end, it can be about a new beginning for everyone.

The post Adult Children of Divorce and Their Perspective appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Getting a Divorce and Keeping Your Home; Should You?

If you are getting a divorce but love your home and can’t bear losing it, it is important to know your options. The following article poses the ins and outs of “keeping” your home. We hope you find this article helpful and always recommend seeking legal advice from a divorce attorney to help you through the process. Take a look.

Divorcing? Should You Divorce Your Home, Too?

If you love your house, but not your spouse, that can make breaking up even harder to do.

After you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse conclude that a divorce is inevitable, you’ll instantly realize that a new decision needs to be made. Assuming you own a house, somebody is going to move out of it, and you’re going to have to decide whether to sell it – or not.
There’s no right or wrong answer to whether you should sell or keep a house during or after a divorce, and what you decide depends on factors such as the personalities of you and your partner, whether the house is in both of your names, if there are children involved and what the attorneys or court hashes out. In any case, there are plenty of issues to think about.
You could sell the house later. That is, much later. Frequently this happens if the couple has kids and both parents agree that the house shouldn’t be sold – yet. Read the Full article here.

If you are contemplating divorce or separation Rappleye & Rappleye Family Law can help. We understand that every client has their own unique circumstances, and we will work closely with you to pursue the best possible course of action. With over 6o years’ experience our Family Law Firm can help guide you and work to obtain favorable results, so that you can rebuild your future.

Our Law Firm, located near all major cities in Jackson County, is committed to ensuring our clients receive the best possible care and results possible. Since there are numerous legal considerations in place that can affect the outcome of your divorce it is important to know your options. Call us today for a consult!

The post Getting a Divorce and Keeping Your Home; Should You? appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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How are My Investments Impacted by Divorce?

Divorce is costly. Not only the process of it, but the aftermath as well. When two people part ways, that includes parting their investments. Although equitable division is meant to be fair, it may not always be equal. The divorce attorneys at our Jackson, MI Family Law Firm can help.

Filing for divorce is just the first step. The division of assets, including investments can be daunting.

Due to the complexity and sensitivity of these negotiations, you should always discuss your situation with a knowledgeable divorce attorney. It is critical to understand options that are available to protect your financial future. Unfortunately, studies show that more women than men seem to be more negatively affected, creating a “financial crisis”.
We found the following article in U.S. News to be informative and helpful. We hope you do too.

How Divorce Affects Investments

It is sometimes said that while June is wedding season, January is divorce season. Perhaps it is too much togetherness during the holidays that might be the final straw, but the holiday spirit seems to have lost its magic by the time January rolls around. And whereas divorce has unfortunately become quite commonplace, the challenges that come with it remain difficult to deal with on many levels, particularly from a financial standpoint.

While both men and women are significantly impacted by a divorce, women’s finances seem to be taking an extraordinary hit. In fact, according to the Allianz Life Women, Money and Power study, 64 percent of divorced female respondents said their divorce created a financial crisis for them and nearly an equal amount (59 percent) noted that losing their spouse or significant other due to divorce was a real “wake-up call” for them financially.

While there can certainly be signs that a divorce is imminent, no one wants to make an assumption that it will be the ultimate outcome of their marriage or partnership. However, there are certain tips for married or partnered women to consider to prepare for a possibility of being on their own. Read the Full article here.

If you are going through a divorce or separation you need an experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney. The Law Offices Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. handles all types of divorce and family law issues. Extensive knowledge and expertise is at the cornerstone of our practice and have over 60 years’ experience.

Our Family Law Firm, located near all major cities in Jackson County, is committed to ensuring our clients receive the best possible care and results possible. Divorce is about the future, not the past, so if you are ready to move on, call us today!

The post How are My Investments Impacted by Divorce? appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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How to Help Children Adjust to Two Homes After a Divorce

Divorce is extremely painful for all ages. Both children and adults need to adjust. They lose their usual routine, space, home and don’t see one of their parents as much as they used to. At Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. – we recognize the emotional stress that surrounds divorce and can help guide you through the process.

After divorce, children need to get used to having two homes and it can extremely difficult.

We found the following article resourceful in helping children adjust.

Making a Child Comfortable in Two Homes

It can be tough for kids to get used to the idea of having two places to call home. Here’s how to help them make the adjustment.

Having two places to call home — Mom’s and Dad’s — can be confusing to children, especially when a family is in the early stages of a separation or divorce. “Moving from household to household means change, and kids are not known for welcoming disruptions to their routines,” says William Doherty, Ph.D., director of the marriage and family therapy program at the University of Minnesota in St. Paul. Then again, a child also has the excitement of a new home, a new bedroom to decorate and a new neighborhood to explore. Whether you’re setting up a new address or maintaining the present one in the midst of your separation or divorce, there are lots of things you can do to make the switch to dual residency more comfortable for everyone.

Let your child have a say. If you’re establishing a new home, involve your child in the furnishing and decorating of her new bedroom…Read the Full article here

If you are going through a divorce or separation you need an experienced and knowledgeable attorney. The Law Offices Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. handles all types of divorce and family law issues. Extensive knowledge and expertise is at the cornerstone of our practice and have over 60 years’ experience.

Our Law Firm, located near all major cities in Jackson County, is committed to ensuring our clients receive the best possible care and results possible. Divorce is about the future, not the past, so if you are ready to move on, call us today!

The post How to Help Children Adjust to Two Homes After a Divorce appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Spousal Support Has No Guidelines in Michigan

Michigan is a no-fault divorce state. This means that when a marriage dissolves all marital matters are legally resolved. When it comes to spousal support, there are no guidelines to follow such as that of child support.

Since spousal support is not part of the property settlement, the courts consider several factors in deciding to grant spousal support. When one person is financially dependent on the other, it can have a significant impact.

The purpose of spousal support is to provide a balance between the earnings and the needs of the divorcing parties.

We found the following article helpful in explaining the way spousal support works in Michigan. It is important to note that spousal support decisions are based on a case by case basis and that there are no guidelines to follow, just factors to consider.

Will the Judge Order Spousal Support in My Divorce?

There is No Specific Formula for Spousal Support

Unlike with child support, there is no formula that will tell you whether or not you will get spousal support or how much you will get. Spousal support is decided on a case-by-case basis.
Sometimes spousal support is needed to make sure both parties are taken care of after a divorce. Spousal support may be ordered if one party’s property award is not enough to support him or her properly. It may also be ordered if one party will be financially worse off after the divorce and the other party can pay some money to make up the difference.
Spousal support is not simple. If you want to ask for spousal support, you may want to talk to a lawyer. If you need a lawyer and are low-income, you may qualify for free legal help. Read the full article here.

Spousal support proceedings can be the harshest, most difficult part of a divorce. It is important that you have a knowledgeable and experienced divorce and family law attorney.

If you are pursuing a divorce and seeking spousal support in Jackson County, Lansing, Ann Arbor, Detroit, or elsewhere in Michigan, we know you may have questions. Our attorneys understand family law matters and other complex issues.

We can help you litigate a dispute or negotiate an agreement. Our Family Law Specialists will serve your best interests and can offer you skillful representation throughout this difficult time. Call us today for a consult!

The post Spousal Support Has No Guidelines in Michigan appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Helping Your Ex Succeed at Parenting After the Divorce

Communicating with your ex after the divorce may have its challenges, especially if you have children together. The reality is that you will have years of communicating ahead of you. Birthdays, sports, graduations etc. How you and your ex react to one another is important for the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of everyone involved. It can also affect the parenting of your ex as well.

Even though your marriage didn’t succeed, and you may question the type of parent your ex is, they may end up being a better parent after the divorce.

Make your divorce a success by nurturing positive communication and you may be surprised at the outcome.

We found this article helpful for any parent dealing with an ex. You can’t change who they are, but divorce may make them better at some things. Why not help them succeed at parenting after your split?

While I was married to my ex, I pulled the majority of the weight when it came to housework and child-related responsibilities. Our son was born with some complicated medical needs, and it was always me attending his therapy, doctor, and special education appointments. In those times, I don’t think my children’s father could have named their doctors or teachers at gunpoint, let alone described their daily routines, preferences, and needs.
I know I am not the only woman with a wasband who was present in the flesh but checked out when it came to family life or parenting. I also know that I am not the only former wife to recognize a difference in her former spouse’s involvement with the kids following, and probably because of, divorce.
In short, divorce made my ex become a better father! Read the full article here.

Ending a marriage is never easy and divorce doesn’t have to be about the end. It can be about a new beginning. Keep these tips in mind and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

The Divorce and Family Law attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. can help if you are in a bad marriage and are contemplating divorce or separation. Our practice covers a wide range of divorce and family law matters and is here to help. We have over 60 years’ experience and will safeguard your interests and future by providing the right solution for your case. Call us today for a consultation!

The post Helping Your Ex Succeed at Parenting After the Divorce appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Helping Your Ex Succeed at Parenting After the Divorce

Communicating with your ex after the divorce may have its challenges, especially if you have children together. The reality is that you will have years of communicating ahead of you. Birthdays, sports, graduations etc. How you and your ex react to one another is important for the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of everyone involved. It can also affect the parenting of your ex as well.

Even though your marriage didn’t succeed, and you may question the type of parent your ex is, they may end up being a better parent after the divorce.
Make your divorce a success by nurturing positive communication and you may be surprised at the outcome.

We found this article helpful for any parent dealing with an ex. You can’t change who they are, but divorce may make them better at some things. Why not help them succeed at parenting after your split?

While I was married to my ex, I pulled the majority of the weight when it came to housework and child-related responsibilities. Our son was born with some complicated medical needs, and it was always me attending his therapy, doctor, and special education appointments. In those times, I don’t think my children’s father could have named their doctors or teachers at gunpoint, let alone described their daily routines, preferences, and needs.
I know I am not the only woman with a wasband who was present in the flesh but checked out when it came to family life or parenting. I also know that I am not the only former wife to recognize a difference in her former spouse’s involvement with the kids following, and probably because of, divorce.
In short, divorce made my ex become a better father! Read the full article here.

Ending a marriage is never easy and divorce doesn’t have to be about the end. It can be about a new beginning. Keep these tips in mind and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

The Divorce and Family Law attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. can help if you are in a bad marriage and are contemplating divorce or separation. Our practice covers a wide range of divorce and family law matters and is here to help. We have over 60 years’ experience and will safeguard your interests and future by providing the right solution for your case. Call us today for a consultation!
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Tips on Being Prepared for Divorce Court | Jackson, MI

One of the most intimidating aspects of divorce can be stepping in to the court room. Your demeaner in the courtroom speaks volumes to the judge and can influence their opinion as well as the outcome of your divorce.

Divorce can bring out the worst in us. In most cases, the nature of divorce is contentious and challenging emotionally and physically. Feeling like you want to “get back” at your soon to be ex by doing things like maxing out the credit cards and engaging in public displays of drunkenness, anger or profanity may feel like revenge but it isn’t. It is bad behavior and a poor choice in conduct.

Showing good judgement and maturity will help you navigate a successful divorce, especially in the court room.

Here are a few tips to help keep your behavior in check during a difficult time.

Behave Like an Adult. Mature conduct and taking the high road will never steer you wrong. No matter what is going on between you and your ex, or how badly and vengeful they may be behaving, acting your age will gain you respect with both the attorneys and the judge! So, if you see your soon to be ex’s car parked somewhere, think twice before you go over and let the air out of the tires.

Communicate with Your Attorney. To know what to expect and not feel blindsided before you enter the courtroom make sure you strategize with your divorce attorney. This means going over what the hearing will cover and what to expect. Details of what is going to be discussed as well as procedures can be addressed as well.

Show Respect to all Parties. It goes without saying that you must treat the judge with respect. It is also wise to treat your ex’s attorney and your ex with respect no matter how untrue the accusations may be.

Take a deep breath and try not to let your emotions get in the way, especially if you feel a lack of respect from others in the court room. Respectful responses as well as knowing when it’s your turn to speak is a better way to make a positive impression on the court. Your body language can also speak loud words so focus on being self-aware and in control of your emotions no matter how hard it is.

Keep these tips in mind and divorce court may not be such an unpleasant and difficult experience. Ending a marriage is never easy and divorce doesn’t have to be about the end. It can be about a new beginning.

The Divorce and Family Law attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. can help if you are in a bad marriage and are contemplating divorce or separation. We have over 60 years’ experience and will safeguard your interests and future by providing the right solution for your case. Call us today for a consult!

The post Tips on Being Prepared for Divorce Court | Jackson, MI appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Relationship Killers; Heading towards Divorce?

There are tons of problems that can chip away at a relationship. Some bigger than others. Whether it’s a complaint, a behavior or an issue, marital problems don’t discriminate and can lead to a split.

Here are a few of the biggest relationship killers that seem to plague many marriages.

My Spouse Takes Me for Granted
It seems that once the deal is sealed and the vows are said, many spouses begin to feel neglected. The “newness” of the relationship and the hype of the wedding seem to slowly sizzle. Over time it may seem that you or your spouse isn’t as interested in your happiness and pleasing you. If you are waiting for it to improve on its own, it probably won’t. Feelings of indifference and being undervalued as a spouse can soon follow.

Selfishness

A characteristic that plagues not only bad marriages but relationships in general.

Being more concerned with the well-being of oneself means that there is not much regard, if any, for the other person in the relationship. Everything from eating, to vacations, to buying things as well as careers seems to revolve around the selfish one. This lack of consideration, hurts and can eventually reach a point of no return.

No Communication

No marriage is perfect but recognizing and dealing with your problems helps. Matters that involve uncertainty or difficulty sometimes go unnoticed because couples don’t want to “rock the boat”. One ignored problem leads to another and soon it snowballs into a mountain of issues. Not talking about your problems can lead to resentment and an eruption of emotions that can be hurtful.

Caring for the Kids
Raising a family has its challenges and when one of you is not on board it only makes it harder for everybody. It takes time and energy to coordinate a family life and if you feel like your spouse isn’t doing their part then feelings of inequity and resentment set in. It takes two to make a family and most spouses feel like it should take two to raise a family.
Ending a marriage is never easy and divorce doesn’t have to be about the end. It can be about a new beginning.

The Divorce and Family Law attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. can help if you are in a bad marriage and are contemplating divorce or separation. We have over 60 years’ experience and will safeguard your interests and future by providing the right solution for your case. Call us today for a consult!

The post Relationship Killers; Heading towards Divorce? appeared first on Divorce and Family Law Lawyers in Jackson Michigan.
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Tips for a Healthy Relationship With Your Stepchildren

Becoming a stepparent can be challenging. It can be scary and overwhelming for both you and your future stepchildren. After a divorce, life must go on. New families form and become blended and the dynamic can be tricky.

A positive and healthy relationship between a stepparent and stepchild is paramount for the security and happiness of a family. Without it, a household can suffer, even your relationship with your new spouse may lack harmony. Here are some things to keep in mind if you are in a relationship that involves children and they’re not your own.

A fast first impression with you future stepchildren is important.

When meeting your future stepchildren, a quick meeting to say “hello” and “nice to meet you” is wise. Planning an all- day affair for the first time you meet can be stressful and emotionally draining for both you and the children. A fast first impression takes the “pressure off” because there are no expectations.

Hold off on expensive gifts

Showering your future spouse’s children with expensive gifts can backfire. This sets the stage for high expectations and can quickly lead to rejection. It’s important to establish a slow and realistic pace for the relationship to build respect and trust. This means save the lavish gifts for down the road.

Establish and maintain a secure friendship

Don’t rush the “love” for your stepchildren and try not to wonder if they “love” you back. Love needs to grow over time for both of you. Starting off as a friend, someone they can talk to, spend time with, and seek advice from is how relationships grow. Deciding how to refer to each other is a great place to start. What do you want them to call you? And you them? Remember you are not their biological parent, so as a stepparent try and be an advocate, role model or extra adult who cares about them – just like friends do for each other. The “love” for each other will grow over time.

Have a vision of your life that includes your stepchildren

If you have a picture in your head of a life with your new spouse and not his children, think again. Be realistic and accept the fact that your life will include stepchildren. Envision all areas of your life like holidays, vacations, weekends and daily routines with your stepchildren. Taking the tome to build a new family picture will help you accept your new normal.

If you need help with divorce or any family law issues in Jackson County Mi the attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye can help. Divorce is a very stressful event in a family’s life. Our Family Law firm can help reduce your stress by putting our divorce law experience and skill to work for you.

Rappleye &Rappleye represents people in all areas of divorce and family law in Michigan and will help you through the process. Call us today for a consult!

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