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Todd Hefner
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My first comic. Go easy on me! :-)
Or not... I do want honest feedback!
I call this "Pre Existing Auto Accident"

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[version 1.0 - exploratory - ideas welcome]

I believe that too often we skip the empathy part, perhaps confusing empathy with sympathy or assuming that empathy means giving in to the child. 

The other day a mom friend brought her kid over to swim. At one point, the child was crying because I wouldn't let her play with the little floating chlorine dispenser. She saw it as a toy and wanted to play with it. 

Here is where the temptation for most of us might be to explain to the child that the chlorine dispenser is dangerous, etc. But a critical part of the conversation is missing; the part where we slow down and show understanding for what the child is feeling and needing.

The feelings were pretty obvious: She was frustrated and angry that (a) she couldn't play with the "toy" and (b) the adults present were using our size and position to keep her from doing as she wanted. Next was to guess what needs underlie those feelings? My guess was: need for play and need for autonomy/choice.

I offered my hand and asked, "Are you upset because you wish you can play with the chlorine dispenser?" (recognizing her need for play) She took my hand, nodded, and cried more while pointing at the "toy". I just kept empathizing. "You really wish people would not stop you from doing what you want." (recognizing her need for choice.) She nodded emphatically and then went back to crying. I kept empathizing with pretty much just variations on the above two recognitions of her needs. This went on for about two more minutes before she realized that (a) I totally understood her needs; (b) I was standing my ground so that part of crying that was a tactic was not working; and (c) she was going to have to find other ways to get her needs for play and choice met. 

Optimally, I might have also offered her some other options to get those needs met BUT that can get in the way of the empathizing if done too soon. Since she was crying until the very end - where she suddenly stopped crying and focused on some other thing she wanted to play with - I chose not to offer her an alternative toy because I wanted to be sure she first had the opportunity to be fully in- and understanding of- her feelings, and use the empathy to pull herself out of her distress, which luckily, she did. A much more powerful lesson than if I had right away dangled some other toy in front of her.

Image to come:
child in distress --> adult offers advice/solution/punishment --> child behavior may temporarily change + relationship damage
child in distress --> adult offers empathy --> child learns + child may self-correct + relationship strengthened

#empathy   #parenting  

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An interesting new take on some things!
President Hillary Clinton on Letterman in the Year 2020
A satirical animated trip into the near future. President Hillary Clinton makes an appearance on the David Letterman Show. David asks the hard questions and Hillary has the answers. Included is her plan to make war on diversity.
Hillary Clinton on Letterman - 2020 #hayek #voluntaryism #anarchy #hillaryclinton #obama #davidletterman #president #america #usa #ndaa #patriotact #god #mars #godofwar #diversity #waronterror #warondiversity #middleeast #barackobama #unitedstates #bush #satire #drone #drones #dronestrikes #animation #animatedcommercial

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Add sticker to things you lose a lot, then track with device. I'm getting this!

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People often ask me, "NVC (Nonviolent Communication) sounds great for one-on-one relationships but how do you apply it to dealing with 'bad' people?" So I finally wrote this up and welcome you all to add your ideas!

#punishment #crime #nonviolent #noncoercion #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #compassion #reform #prison #incarceration #freedom #liberty

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C I S P A (H.R.3523)

Alert: Obama is NOT going to veto CISPA! Senate is voting.

Senator phone number list:

Easy form that will write your senators for you:

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This needs to go viral!

PROGRESS now to asking yourself why you support Obama. You thought the George Bush Show was a barrel of laughs with plenty of "making America safe from terrorists" and plenty of explosions! Feel safer now? So... reducing our freedoms (like Patriot Act) + "war on terror" = we are safer now? You didn't think so when Bush was in office. You stood against him! I did, too.

Now, in theatres since 2008 with more juicy violence and way more laws reducing our liberties, The Barack Show! Featuring in part one: Libya and Afghanistan! But let's not forget: the ever popular Patriot Act extension. It sucked when the Bush Administration rammed it in but let's not talk about Obama extending it because he used lube. So probably it's frowny face talk to mention NDAA, ACTA, NDRP, and the new No Trespass/No Free Speech Zones Law. Thanks, Obama, for caring so much about my safety! And good thing our heads are all up our asses because that makes it easy to ignore the drugs being moved from Afghanistan into Mexico via CIA planes. Didn't hear about it in the main stream media? I wonder why. Google is your friend.

Finally, if we are extra lucky because we haven't had a good war movie- I mean real big war- sorry I get confused as to which is which; here comes Iran and Syria! It sure would suck if one of our ships in the Persian Gulf or one of our many bases surrounding their countries were to be attacked by "terrorists" because then the American people will be outraged and Barack will have that little bit of extra support he needs to go in there and punish those damned terrorists who would build a nuclear bomb and use a catapult to get it over the ocean to America. He'll also have the warmongering neo-conservatives support, and yay, re-election.

Speaking of the potential of another 9/11-type attack: We've never seen that kind of thing happen [cough]Reichstag fire, pre-National Socialist Party takeover of Germany in 1933[/cough]. Coming to you this Summer with more explosions than ever! Even nuclear if we are lucky! Good thing all that "yucky" stuff is going on so far away. Go back to your laugh track happy time shows and thoughts about what you plan on stuffing into your mouth next. World events are boring and complex. Best left to the politicians to handle.

Yeah keep voting Obama. Oh and while you are at it, google "real unemployment figures" and compare it to the figures on Yeah, maybe seeing that one lie will inspire you to get your news from somewhere other than MSNBC and CNN during an election year with democrat incumbent. Faux is no better, btw, with Rupert Murdoch in love with Romney. Why have all the peace-loving Liberals lost their balls? Charmed by someone? Wake up, please, before it is too late.

Support Ron Paul. He is the only candidate who would bring ALL our troops home, strong DEFENSE, no more foreign spending, plenty more foreign trade. Yeah the pundits are calling it "isolationism", haha.

#war #liberal #progressive #peace #ronpaul #obama

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Hilarious! I like the part where the prison guard tries to get Jesus to stop levitating.
Satirical look at how much freedom we lose each day
Indecent Exposure

#ronpaul #freedom #jesusarrested #webanimation #animatedcommercials #funnycartoon #jesusinjail

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