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Courtney Looney
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Courtney Looney

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I have thought about killing myself and I have tried but obviously was unsuccessful. I have been depressed for nearly three years and on the 5 March this year I decided enough was enough and overdosed. It was early in the morning and I left for school as usual as if nothing was wrong. I knew I hadn't taken enough to kill me (I coughed up liquid but no tablets every time something was near my mouth after the 20th tablet. I know that's not much but my total mg of tablets in my body was 20,750mg which managed to do some damage) but as soon as I got to school I went to a teacher that means a lot to me as he has helped me through so much over the last four years and he got me help and the first wider came with me to hospital. I thank him so much that he helped me when in reality he could have just left it and told me to go first aid myself. Which I wouldn't have done but he stayed with me and it's because of him I'm not trying to commit again. It's really because of him I ended up with counselling even though I didn't want to do it but it actually has helped me loads. 
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Courtney Looney

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I wish I could give you billions of hugs because I think you deserve so much love. I'm sorry for your loss xx
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Courtney Looney

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My school tried to make me cover my scars. They kept telling me that surely it would be better for me to cover them up otherwise I could get judged. In reality though they were judging me because of mistakes I made and what had become me. They didn't like it and tried to make me cover them. I told them fuck it I'm not ashamed of the scars I have inflicted upon myself, I have to live with the consequences of my actions and by telling me to cover my scars they are being offensive towards me. I didn't listen to them and I got into some shit for it but they gave up in the end. 
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Courtney Looney

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Your story makes me realise that I actually need help with my own depression. I need to actually admit how bad my depression really is and accept the help that is being offered to me.

Thank you for making me realise I need help and I am happy that you are now happy xx
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Courtney Looney

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That last episode made me cry. Poor Paul and Carl
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Courtney Looney

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I keep getting lost in your eyes. I have to watch repeatedly to actually see the amazing tricks you do. 
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Courtney Looney

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I have had one confirmed seizure and one thought to be seizure (no-one was with me so it can't be confirmed and I don't remember it) and my doctor told me to have a brain scan which confirmed my epilepsy.

I feel sorry for the girl who had the seizure on a horse and isn't allowed to ride or drive for a year but it really is for her own safety.. Hopefully she doesn't have more and ends up like myself who has been refused to do anything such as driving, riding, swimming and any activity that could potentially cause issues for me.

Hopefully it all ends up okay for her and she can continue doing what she did prior to her seizure 
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Courtney Looney

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I am crying an ocean of tears right now...
I'm happy you are alive and you are an amazing guy. You found something to live for and that's amazing. Love you Onision x
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Courtney Looney

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Watching this video... It's harsh but every single word of it is true. But then I'm not ashamed of my scars, and I don't cover mine up.


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Courtney Looney

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I have been depressed for almost three years, and it wasn't my friends who helped me Just over a year and a half ago. Your friend literally saved your life and I am happy she did that, I'm sure you deserve all the happiness in the world.

The person who saved me was my drama teacher. He, like your friend, makes me smile when I too thought I forgot how to, he has stopped me self harming and because of him I have been clean for just over six weeks. He is the reason I am recieving the help doctors think I need.

There need to be more people like him and just like your friend, because they are the people who will change so many lives. 
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Courtney Looney

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I don't see why people would call you fat. You are beautiful and people would be stupid if they didn't see that. 
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Courtney Looney

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Toby, you are amazing and I'm sure it will be an awesome series. I love all of your videos, they must take up a lot of time and effort. Thank you for being so amazing and giving me a reason to get up in the morning. Love you Toby x
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