Scene 1: in the car going to a 2-year old birthday party.
Wife - what's the directions again..?
Me - Hold on, I'm down loading the latest nightly.
Wife - Check your email, what is the address again?
Me - Hold on my Android is Upgrading
Scene 2: at the party.
Other Dad - Ok I'm calling your number, just text me back your number.
Me - hum, looks like the latest nightly didn't boot again.
Wife - hurry take a picture of the baby.
Me - hold on, I'm flashing the phone back to 8/6.
Wife - What time is it?
Me - it's 4:10
Wife - 4:10?! We left the house at 4, we've been here for 3-hours, it must be at least 6.!
Me - humm, looks like I don't have data, gotta pull my Sim card and reboot.
Scene 3: going home
Kid - Daddy can I play some angry birds?
Me - Hold on my Android is Upgrading.
Wife - and you want me to get an Android?
Me - yes dear...
Would be cool to be able to mark that you are attending a recommended event and have the information automatically put in your calendar/have its own Google now card!
Step by step guide to earning my #vote in #2016:
1. BACK THE FUCK OFF #RELIGION . this is 2012 (will be 2016). there have been way too many horror movies about religious zealots, and to be honest, some of you scare me.
2. Social issues: Stop trying to go in reverse. Just hit the breaks. I'll even permit you to come to a complete stop. I understand that you don't like certain policies that were put in place over the last 4 years. I understand that you won't like certain policies that will be put in place over the next 4 years. But seriously, our nation changes. Technology changes. Science changes. 4 years ago I was a huge pussy. I like to think that I've changed. You can change too. Roll with the progression, halt it if you must. But please, rather than focusing on reversing policies, focus on procrastinating. It might even help you with the college/higher educated vote. We love procrastination.
3. Have an economic plan: I'm totally down to support an alternate economic plan, but not just because you say that it's different. Tell me what it is. I like the results that you said you would get -- booming economy, America more appetizing to business, etc... but have a more firm plan to get there besides "lowering taxes." Impress me. I like graphics. and numbers. I really like numbers. Real numbers though, not ones that you make up.
4. BACK THE FUCK OFF RELIGION.
Following these steps will greatly increase your chances of earning my vote. I like change -- so please, change my mind.
- Life UniversityChiropractic, 2012 - present
- University of Maryland, College ParkKinesiology, 2007 - 2012
- BTB FitnessLevel 1 Crossfit Trainer, present
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