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Richard Anton
Leadership | Influence | Calgary Counselors | Calgary Psychologists | Calgary Counseling Psychologists | Emotional Intelligence Calgary | Calgary Business Psychologists | Calgary Anger Management | Introversion Calgary |
Leadership | Influence | Calgary Counselors | Calgary Psychologists | Calgary Counseling Psychologists | Emotional Intelligence Calgary | Calgary Business Psychologists | Calgary Anger Management | Introversion Calgary |


"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it." Writer and Publisher William Feather

"Without experience there can be little wisdom"

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Career Tips

So you’re working your way up the corporate ladder when you realize…….your boss – a fairly new member of the “old boys club” – isn’t pulling his weight? What do you do? What can you do about it? How can you get him to pull up his socks?

You consult!

But truthfully, there may be nothing that you can do unless you already have influence with your boss. Given the dilemma, in order to move forward, accept this potentially real limitation as a fact, then consider a leadership perspective. Ask yourself, not how can I get my boss to change? Rather, ask yourself, how can I handle myself in this situation, to show off my best attributes?

Tip # 1 – To show off your best attributes, you really need to know what they are, and the answer is not technical ability. The strengths that compare, in this situation, are interpersonal in nature. Leadership skills.

Tip # 2 – At the core of all great leadership skills, lies good, healthy functioning relationships. Have them and thrive. Die without. Relationships – usually the type that has depth and meaning to them – provide a platform to all long-lasting success stories. Relationships that have been blended with strong leadership skills can often impel a desire to be supportive and helpful from those around you once you’ve shared a vision for the greater good.

Tip # 3 – Your communication at this point needs to be purposeful. Utilize impeccable timing, strategic direction, and an intention to cultivate authentic business relationships. Taking things just a step further, you can and should create your own personal agenda, with a focus to target certain people to get to know better or influence.

Overall, my point regarding this dilemma is that you will likely be more effective, more influential because you have taken the time to nurture and cultivate mutually respectful relationships with others, including your boss. Leadership is not about controlling others, using force or manipulation to make them bend to your will. Leadership is an opportunity to breath life into the type of person you want to become. Cultivate and nurture your own character.

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A Disconcerting Realization

It might be somewhat disconcerting to admit that despite how capable and successful you have been up till the present moment, that you now find yourself embroiled in conflict. You are definitely not feeling corporate support. It's almost bizarre, but you feel their pressure, as if you have somehow slipped out of favor and are no longer seen as the high performer you've always been.

In order to recover from this malady, you must face the very realization that you are now working with a Psychologist or an Executive coach, not something that you ever imagined for yourself, not even in your wildest dreams. Take heart. There are stages that even you may travel along your way.

What , when, why? How did this happen?

Here's what we can do, since I do not have the answers to these questions either. I can tell you that I've been down this road, at least once or twice before. Here are a few points or stages that can start us off. Your "leadership," by the way, will be a foundational consideration here.

You know that you've been loyal for a decade now, yet "are you the only one who remembers?" You feel bewildered. Corporate politics is something you really should consider. Despite your outstanding technical expertise, you're potentially having a somewhat negative personal impact on your colleagues, one that you're not aware of.

Of course you're feeling angry about the whole thing. Anger can be very challenging to cope with because it is what is referred to as a secondary emotion. It's one that derives from frustration, and worse yet, it prevents you from locating the requisite insight that you need to get you out of this debacle.

You think that you know who has been responsible for causing you all these issues. This knowledge just adds to the implausibility of the situation because you've actually gone out of your way to help this person's career, and so you think "this is how they repay my efforsts?" You simply cannot believe what is happening. It's as if this individual is trying to cause problems for you, rather than thank you for everything you've done for them. Perception causes all of us to move into flows of either strength and power or into flows of errors, poor decision making and problems.

Communication is almost always a part of most problems and so needs to be part of your solution, too. Good leadership is always concerned about how its communication impacts upon others. Is what you're saying having a subjectively positive impact or is the impact negative? What is the impact of what you're not saying? Communication is the purview of leadership.

Political issues, such as conflict with others isn't uncommon, but what surprises you is that key people that you thought were your friends don't seem to have your back. Personal relationships within the corporate context can be tricky. People must consider the costs and benefits of aligning themselves with you. They must think in terms that are context specific and situational. An alignment with you may be a smart strategical move one time and at another, a critical mistake.

As I've noted else where, when even your spouse notices and tries to talk to you about your moods, you can rest assured that you've got a problem that needs your undivided attention. Trust in that realization. Trust and have faith, that this is a benevolent force that is urging you to change, to become more sensitive toward others.

Ultimately, you realize that you're going to have to rebuild trust and respect with others, that is, if you desire to remain in your position and in the organization. The changes that you make, the sensitivity that you start cultivating for others, will go a long way towards rekindling trust and establishing a mutual respect.

So you find yourself considering the unthinkable - "Do I still belong here?" It has been said that our career is our path - the hero's journey - that which we must traverse for us to grow, to evolve, to become all that we can become, and to experience ultimate feelings of success.

If you've been following some of my other communications, you know where I'm going with this. My bottom line is to focus on your leadership style! Things always happen for a reason, regardless of whether we are aware of the reasons or not. Times that we are able to really embrace our power and responsibility, are times when we give life to our best, what I like to refer to as our "inner leadership legends."

The best, most competitive attitude that you can muster, might be along the lines of "I'm glad that these things have happened to me." Remember, that our actions and behaviors tend to follow and reflect our inner thoughts, beliefs and expectations. So take heart, as it is with these or similar types of thoughts, that we are led into the experiences of our "inner leadership legends."

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I love this guy. His video is so simple, and it's profound!

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So You're Feeling Burned Out?!?

First things, first. Are you still feeling charged up and in the zone? Do you continue to feel fortunate to be with your spouse, children and associates? Why are you no longer a source of inspiration, direction, encouragement, and vision to others, and who do you now rely on to motivate you?

If you relate even a little to these questions, please be cautious. If you're not burned out now, it may just be around the corner. Let me remind you, that none of us are machines. In order to maintain high levels of performance, we are required to allow ourselves intermittent periods of mandatory recovery time.

But you say you've been powering through life for years now, without such recovery time and your performance had never been higher. Without data to back this up, we would only be relying on your subjective impression, and without proper recovery time, research would suggest that your judgement has likely been suspect for almost as long as you think your performance has been high.

Can you imagine your favorite athlete performing at peak levels, working as many hours per month as you've been working? Obviously not! Professional athletes fully realize the value of cross training and getting into the zone. There is a clear difference between "feeling" as though we're doing our best, and our best efforts that are actually supported by analyzed stats.

If you really are burned out, one of the reasons may be due to being "overly focused" on your work, to the exclusion of recovery-related activities. We know that the best ideas and solutions come when our mind is elsewhere. This fact is a reflection of the mandatory recovery concept and has been studied extensively.

One recommended therapy for burn out, is to throw as much energy as you have left into creating a life that provides recovery, and prepares you for your next charge or assent.

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