something has snapped in my head. for the first time in almost exactly 2 years, i've backed off on my alcohol consumption and am choosing to stay sober, rather than bury myself in whatever booze i have at hand.
i've come to the conclusion that there's only so much time i can spend hating myself for something i am not responsible for. time to wake the fuck up and climb out of bed.
i went to bed on sunday in a state of equilibrium after sinking a few pints of cider to ease the pain of the hangover i'd accrued from the previous night's celebrations. i told myself enough was enough.
i avoided the bottle shop on monday. i was antsy, and took a while to get to sleep when i got to bed.
tuesday saw me in a state of wakefulness, and i went to the bottle shop and bought expensive vodka. i have yet to open that bottle, but it sits in the freezer ready for that day. by bed time i was feeling pretty shagged.
wednesday saw a mild down turn in energy, and i had zero interest in consuming any alcohol. lights out at 9pm.
i woke up this morning feeling like i'd been kicked in the head. eyes heavy, like they would normally feel after a night of heavy drinking. my sinuses were blocked, and i was lagging in energy. work was painfully slow. it was like a hangover, but without the drinking. i ventured to the bottle shop and bought a four pack of pre-mixed vodka drinks, opened one, took a mouthful, and immediately regretted the decision. it took me an hour to drink it, when normally i'd have been cracking open the third.
tomorrow sees me at the football. it is yet to be seen whether i will have my usual 3 beers during the game.
there has definitely been a swing to the positive here, and i'm thankful for the change. i just wish it would show up the energy that it's supposed to already. i have to kick in the new gym routine from next week...and i need to be able to get out of bed at 5am in order to do it. #sober #changes #alcohol #discipline