Part of me is appalled and disgusted at people joking about punched Monets but part of me also, every time someone says something about illegal downloading causing artists to starve... part of me thinks, "oh, good."
I feel like I'm in this interstice where I'm totally immersed in the art world but no one's really sure which butler accidentally let me in and they'd all rather I went away, and stuff like realizing how expensive it is to see an arthouse film in Toronto (TIFF is so far outside of my budget lol) or really ANY film just kind of highlights for me how much participating in culture is about having lots and lots of disposable cash.
I'm doing ok economically like I'm not in danger of starving and I'd even be ok if like I was unemployed for a little bit but the reason for that is because I buy hardly anything for myself ever and consume only the media I can get for free. I can't afford to participate in the art world that ostensibly I'm paying to get a degree to cover, and I sure don't have the social connections that make participation possible. Hell, most of my sources for my comics thesis either came from a library or came from Humble Bundles! I would burn through my savings quite rapidly if I was buying single issues when they came out. And yet trade waiting is a dirty term among comics creators!
I'm doing ok, but it feels very tenuous, like any major disaster could send me spiralling out of control, and it feels often like actually pursuing this as a career is profoundly unrealistic because I'm ultimately just some yokel from Pennsylvania and really how dare I presume to enter these hallowed circles?
One time I asked my one professor up here and one of the super connected curatorial students "You guys talk all the time about going to these Biennials all over the world but you don't ACTUALLY go to like Vienna to see these shows, right?"
I wish I hadn't asked that question.
They both looked at me like I was crazy and said "Of course we do!"