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Raymond Burleigh
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Q: How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: More guns.

An NRA member walks into a bar. The bartender says, "More guns."

Q: Why did the NRA member cross the road?
A: More guns.

Q: If a Blonde and an NRA member both jumped off a building at the same time, who would land first?
A: More guns

Q: How does an NRA member get an elephant in the refrigerator?
A: More guns.

I just saw Lyric Theatre's production of "The Gondoliers" in San Jose.  Who was my favorite performer?  I know

"a bias to disclose would be indelicate,"

but when Jessica takes the stage as Tessa

"Every sound becomes a song.  
All is right and nothing’s wrong!"

"Of that there is no manner of doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt.
No possible doubt whatever."

Only 4 chances left to see Jessica and all the talented people at the Lyric Theatre, so stop procrastinating and buy your tickets because
"The culminating pleasure
That [you’ll] treasure beyond measure
Is the gratifying feeling that [your] duty has been done."

Joint Statement from the San Jose Mayor and City Council:

As you know the city continues to face financial challenges. We have committed ourselves to long term expenses without adequate funding due to our myopic fixation on short term goals. If we do not find a way to contain costs, the city will face insolvency. Our fact free financial analysis projects a bazillion dollar deficit in the near future. Fortunately the mayor and a majority of the city council have determined that the true cause of this crisis is not years of poor planning by elected officials but, instead, is the result of unrealistic demands by our employees and their out of touch unions.

For example, despite recurring deficits, the city spent far more than it could afford on a new city hall. In order to reduce the projected deficit of this narcissistic project, city officials slyly left the cost of furniture out of the project budget. Once the building was complete this oversight was “discovered,” and they made an emergency, unfunded, appropriation for furniture. Now, all these costs are a direct result of having employees. If our employees did not have unrealistic demands for adequate workspaces and comfortable furnishings we would not face the tough financial decisions we face today. Clearly the only possible solution is to insist that the employees pay rent, equal to 20% of each paycheck, for the space and furniture they use while making a living at the taxpayers’ expense. However, new employees, who will work from folding chairs in unheated offices, will be charged a lower rate.

The looming default on $100 Million of Redevelopment Bonds is also the fault of the employees. While the naïve may blame Santa Clara County for failing to disburse state funds, or the city for giving away millions of dollars of city property at below market value to well connected developers, your mayor and city council know the real reason is the failure of city employees to spend all the redevelopment money before state bureaucrats confiscated it to postpone having to do any long term planning of their own. Defaulting on these bonds would cause serious harm to the city’s credit rating. Clearly the only possible solution is to hold accountable these irresponsible public employees, whose long term thinking is clearly out of touch with modern political realities, and to demand that they pay these bonds by a small contribution of 20% of each paycheck. 

Unfortunately the city is now facing millions of dollars in legal fees because of the unions’ radical theory that the Mayor and City Council must follow the law and honor existing contracts. We had our attorneys pre-review and rubberstamp all our policies so we could avoid these unnecessary expenses. Taxpayers should not bear the burden of this unreasonable attitude among public workers. Our employees need to understand that they must be willing to sacrifice for the privilege of serving our taxpayers. Clearly the only possible solution is to insist that employees pay the city’s legal costs with a 10% ligation fee from each paycheck. New employees who waive all legal rights will be exempt from this fee.

It is the Mayor’s and Council’s opinion that these policies do not violate the city’s Living Wage rules. The city pays a living wage to all its employees. If they are unable to retain enough of those wages to live on it is their own fault as we have outlined above. 

Nationwide government expenditures, when adjusted for inflation and population growth, are declining for the first time in a generation and helping to stall economic expansion. San Jose should be proud of the effort its leaders have taken to shrink our economy and make sure those with the least means bear most of the burden of paying for years of legislative funding failures they themselves created by electing short sighted leaders like us.

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This weekend will have the largest and brightest full moon of the year and the Eta Aquarids meteor shower (caused by debris from Halley’s comet). The “supermoon” occurs because the moon is at it’s closest point to the Earth (perigee). The Eta Aquarids are expected to produce 40 – 60 meteors per hour early Saturday morning, but only the brightest will be visible due to the bright moon.

Meanwhile Venus, Mars, and Saturn remain bright in the night sky

And on May 20th an annular solar eclipse will be visible from Eureka CA to Lubbock TX.

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We got Google Power Balance bracelets at “Bring Your Parents to Work Day.” Power Balance? Really, Google?

If only the world’s information was organized in a way that makes it universally accessible and useful, then whoever thought this was a good idea could have discovered what a scam Power Balance is.

If only there was some place where you could type “Power Balance” and see that “Numerous independent studies of the device found it to be completely ineffective at improving athletic performance, and the manufacturer was forced to retract its claims in 2010.” If only there was some place to find videos showing how easy is it is to manipulate balance and power tests by not actually measuring the strength and direction of the applied force. If only there was an easy way to find Olympic athletes disproving the company’s claims scientifically.

Perhaps some day the brilliant minds at Google will invent a way to do all that, and more…
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So I challenged my former co-workers from Airport Technology Services to beat me in the annual race up 17 flights of stairs at City Hall next October. I've been training hard because I have this crazy idea I can win. I made my challenge in a song:

(To the tune of "Is There Not One Maiden Breast"
from The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan)

Oh, is there not in A. T. S.
One with stout heart and high ambition
Who thinks that they can have success
When taking up my proposition?
To such a one, if such there be:
You’d better work on your condition
If you’ve a chance of besting me
In this, our lofty competition!

A new moon and clear skys tonight mean ideal viewing conditions for the Lyrid meteor shower. From a dark area, look for the brightest star low in the northeast sky around 10 PM (Vega in the constelation Lyra, which rises around 9 PM). The meteors will appear to “radiate” from that area of the sky (hence the name Lyrids). Peak activity is predicted between midnight and dawn.


The Lyrid meteors tend to be bright. They can be as bright as the sky’s third-brightest object, after the sun and moon – the planet Venus. These “Lyrid fireballs” might even cast momentary shadows, and they often leave smokey-looking trails that linger for a minute or so.

Although they typically produce about 10-20 meteors per hour at their peak, the Lyrids are known to surge unexpectedly, bringing the rate up to 100 per hour. Those rare outbursts are not easy to predict, but they’re one of the reasons the tantalizing Lyrids are worth checking out.

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Sex education is a public health issue, not a moral issue. Countries that embrace many of the things social conservatives detest (comprehensive sex education, pro-gay legislation, nude or topless beaches, legal or decriminalized prostitution, adult entertainment) have less sexual dysfunction than the United States, not more. There is a strong correlation between social conservatism and higher rates of teen pregnancy, abortion and sexually transmitted diseases. France, which has mandatory comprehensive sex education and free condoms for teens, has a teen pregnancy rate 5 times lower than the US.
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