Cover photo
james altucher
Works at myself
19,360 followers|1,139,694 views


james altucher

Shared publicly  - 

Humor kills cancer. One story I read: a woman got diagnosed with terminal cancer. Decided to watch one comedy movie a day. A year later she was cancer-free. 

This is not to say, don't do all the other garbage doctors tell you. I'm just saying I read it on the Internet. 

Another thing: the women I've been most attracted to always made me laugh. One girl constantly insulted me but the insults were so quick and funny I couldn't help being attracted to her. 

But she was a mean person to everyone and somehow people could just tell. One time we were just walking in the street and a homeless guy walked right up to her and spit in her face. 

"Holy shit!" she said, "go after him!". But there was no chance that was happening and she broke up with me. 

I've already written that before I give a talk I listen to standup comedy. I figure it triggers the mirror neurons in my brain and helps me to relax, observe and maybe mimic how they work their voices and bodies, and helps me to connect better with the audience. 

Several people have asked me about my just-released TED talk (found here: ) and what comedy I watched. 

Before this talk I was so scared I think i was even crying to Claudia. I felt like everyone at the event was more interesting than me. 
So I probably watched 48 straight hours of comedy. 

Most comedians are absurd. Not absurd in the sense that everything they say is ridiculous.

Here's the trick: they take you to this point we can all emotionally relate to. And then they blow it to smithereens. Once you can relate to them, you're along for the ride. 

So this is exactly what I listened to over and over again before giving the talk. 

Andy Samberg's Harvard commencement speech:

I don't think he makes sense for even one second during the entire speech. Which means he totally goes for it. He's committed to the end to stay in character no matter how confused the audience is. 

How often do we commit to something and then at the first point where it feels uncomfortable, we back out of it. I know for me, it takes seconds. I like how Samberg takes it through the whole speech. 

Bo Burnham's "what."

I have to admit, the above clip makes me jealous when I watch it. I wish when was in my 20s I had had 1/10 the talent Bo has. The whole clip is good but the last ten minutes I was like (starting at 52:40): Oh my god, how did he come up with that?

116 videos of Amy Schumer doing standup. She might be the funniest person alive:

Marina Franklin doing standup. 

She has this beautiful innocence about her. And then BAM!

Plus, you can find her on my podcast. 

There's so much good Louis CK stuff that I can't pick. Just watch anything Louis CK. 

Here's a recent SNL monologue he did:

Anthony Jeselnik: I like how he connects with the audience just when you think they should be hating him:

Daniel Tosh. Daniel Tosh is the reason I stopped using powerpoint in my talks. Because you can compare how funny he is between his standup and his show Tosh.0 where he has youtube videos as sort of props. 

I then read later that powerpoints use a different part of the brain and that using them in a talk forces the brain to over-work. 

Anyway, here's Tosh doing standup:

I just finished reading "Food" by Jim Gaffigan. I begged his managers or whoever to see if he could come on my podcast. They said "no".  That's ok. Louis CK said "no" also. And Jim is up there with Louis CK for excellent standup:

Jimmy Fallon is changing late-night TV.  There's no way I can keep up with that sort of energy. But I love his SNL audition reel and the sheer talent he shows:

And then it's hard to believe that a clip from C-Span makes the list but I love how Seth Rogen injects humor into an incredibly serious issue in a congressional hearing:

I also read funny: Kurt Vonnegut, Simon Rich, Tina Fey, Douglas Adams, Miranda July. 

I will tell you what did not work: watching a ton of TED videos, which I did. It just scared me. And reading all the books about how to talk at a TED talk. I'm not really a professional speaker. 

I have things that I believe in and want to express because I think it helps others. I use comedy as a way to squeeze a message inside a bottle of entertainment. 

When I hear people laugh, it makes me feel good. It was like I was attracted to the whole audience. I loved them. And I wanted them to love me back. I lasted 12 minutes. 
Scott Worthington's profile photoSanthosh Yadav's profile photo
it is true and proved !!!
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
It's amazing how much Tony Robbins and I tower over Claudia. :) 

At his house in Florida to do a podcast. 
John Packel's profile photoLucy Chen's profile photoSean Spiering's profile photoMoses yambayamba's profile photo
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
I've written about 1000 posts now, give or take and if you haven't figured out how to kiss girls yet then you haven't been really listening to me. But I'd figure I'd summarize anyway. And, of course, being able to kiss girls (and then later…women) has everything to do with making a lot of money.
Michaela Logue's profile photoVYSHNAVI S's profile photoJessy James Dessaint's profile photo
So nice!
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
The way to have good ideas is to get close to killing yourself. It's like weightlifting. When you lift slightly more than you can handle, you get stronger. In life, when the gun is to your head, you either figure it out, or you die. When you cut yourself open, you bleed ideas.
Daniel Mihai Popescu's profile photoUmmed Singh's profile photo
So Nice' Mr James
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
The fantastic artist and doodler, Molly Hahn, sent me a picture as a gift. A picture that has not left my pocket since she sent it. It's amazing the effect a physical drawing has instead of the onslaught of images we get every day on our computer. The computer screen is a prison wall separating ...
Jason Frasca's profile photoPaul Doran's profile photo
I like this picture, James. Namaste
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
It's easy to get anonymous people to hate you. Have an opinion. Be creative. Be yourself. But sometimes it gets worse. I've had death threats,…
Jay Palter's profile photoSteve Turnbull's profile photoPatrick Cash's profile photo
James, the guy who said you shouldn't read your book is an absolute idiot. I wouldn't have bought your if you weren't the one reading it!!! Listen to your podcast and love it too! 
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
Yay! My TEDx talk just released. 
labib8aug's profile photoAcroYoga with Dao's profile's profile photoRobin Solis's profile photo
+james altucher HI! now I'm under my personal account. Like on Linked-In where I found you. (Biz is You did great in person! More peeps would like you if they see you in person. The opposite of me. That's why I'm good on the radio. Hot personality. Too hot for TV. In person, hmmm, idk. Say hi to your smart wife.
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, sat down with me for "The James Altucher Show". I was really excited because I've been a huge fan of Dilbert for 20 years and what, of course, really made me excited was that he told me he was a fan of my writing.

We talked about failure, success, and the bridge in between. But what was really fun for me was the question I had for him at the end, which I'll end up writing about in a separate post I think. I asked him to think of more than 3 issues where, if you present both sides equally, then both sides are guaranteed to hate you.
I hope you listen to this podcast because I think it's one of my funnest and most useful for finding success.
Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert and author of How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big is my guest this week on The James Altucher Show. Scott's story is an inspiration fo...
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
Laurence Smith's profile photo
Good shout that. Consider me now a page boy too! 
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
Seth Godin is my latest guest on "The James Altucher Show". I hope you listen because I've been really inspired by my guests. The show, because of what the guests have said, has changed my life:
Kevin Dunseath's profile photojames altucher's profile photoLandon Zabcik's profile photoAndy Boenau's profile photo
Thanks +Kevin Dunseath - also available on Stitcher for Android fans.
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
Please read this and avoid all the BS
In the history of capitalism, this is the hardest time ever to invest. People are going broke, losing their jobs, and fear more than greed rules the news and tries to rule thoughts. In short: people are scared. And I do think the uncertainty is going to rise quickly so I wanted to put this note ...
jhonny goodman's profile photo
ME 2 we r just the same 
Add a comment...

james altucher

Shared publicly  - 
I didn't have any money so couldn't start a business. And even if I started one, I didn't have an office, or clients, and I was too shy to cold-call clients. I didn't have connections or rich parents or anything for that matter. I didn't have talent. I just got lucky. Nobody will hire me.
John Jainschigg's profile photoT Green's profile photoOlivia Stear's profile photoL romo's profile photo
L romo
Hi Mr. Altucher,
I am reading Choose yourself and have a question for you. You make it sound easy to execute an idea, I wish it was for me! Do you need to get ideas patent before you should try and sell your idea? A very long time ago I thought of cooler on wheels. I was just a kid but when I looked into making it happen it was a small fortune. It was a good idea because it is no longer just an idea. I have had a few more but need help with executing them.I'm still reading looking for some direction in this area. Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you, Leslie
Add a comment...
In his circles
2,336 people
Have him in circles
19,360 people
Allen Carter's profile photo
Sean Coincon's profile photo
Raj Sekhawat's profile photo
hee sham's profile photo
R. B. Grumm's profile photo
Michelle Murphy's profile photo
Lanel Nelson's profile photo
Sarah Butcher's profile photo
Sonia Varghese's profile photo
i like to write.
  • myself
  • HBO
I hate roller coasters but I've ridden too many of them. So I blog about it here and wrote a book about it here.
Bragging rights
16 out of my past 17 startup attempts were failures.
Basic Information