Most of the articles here obviously come from a wife’s perspective, so I’ve decided to write the rest of this article exclusively from a husband’s point of view.
Gentlemen – it’s never too late to save or improve your marriage. All it takes is the awareness to do it. So guys, it’s my pleasure to share a husband’s perspective, my perspective, and five simple words that may save your marriage, too.
Respect your wife. Give her the freedom to grow and build a life that doesn’t include you. Allow her to see the wonderful gifts inside of her and then celebrate as your wife shares these with the world. Respect the love she gives you. Soak it in. Let it cover you with its sweetness. Understand this is the best gift she can give anyone. Honor her gift with your love and fidelity – always.
Give without expecting anything in return. Give because your heart says to give. Give her the best you have to offer. When she asks what’s on your mind, give her an honest answer. When she needs comfort, give her more than she expects. When she needs to lift her head to see her mistakes, give her a tender nudge and then get out of the way. Give her a safe place to cry and to be weak. Give her the chance to be whoever she wants to be.
Share everything. From the last piece of cake to monitoring your children’s homework, take an active, equal role in the marriage. Resentment begins with a soft whisper before growing into a more demonstrative outburst. To share a life, the things in it must be shared too.
From the odd quarks to her radiance, and everything in between, enjoy your wife. Take her in. Watch as she sleeps, as she brushes her hair, as she sits next to you thumbing through a magazine. Watch her elegance, her tenderness and her expressions of joy, suspense, anger and fear. Bottle these moments in your mind and take them out whenever you want to enjoy a dose of her amazing beauty.
Managing finances, raising children, building a career, relocating, enduring a crisis, all contribute to the challenges every marriage faces. There’s only one way for marriages to thrive despite these circumstances: Persistence. Be persistent during the times when it feels like the light is being consumed by the dark; remain faithful and believe the good will eventually trump the bad; never give up when you feel like everything you are building is about to fall.
And what’s the source for this hope? Love.
Surrender to love.
Fall back into it and take your wife with you.
Please Read, Please Reshare
Margie, and I have been talking about this for almost a year now. She wants to put together a network of Google+ users that will give of their time to help the people that need it most to reconnect with the outside world.
Her mother died a slow death due to Parkinson's. She cared for her to the end herself. My mother became unable to care for herself after a stroke. I cared for her for over 3 years, I know what it takes.
But if our loved ones in these last years of their life could just TALK to another human being from their own frame of reference, you know, from their generation, it would SO change their quality of life.
Or be able to see Christmas morning, birthdays, actually see the joy on the face of grandchildren opening presents. Or presents they sent making smiles.
SO, I have no idea how to do this, BUT I KNOW sees this as her chance to use our social media skills to help others.
I am going to kick this off with the hashtag #hangoutcaregivers
What Brought This On?
A man on my email newsletter list emailed me asking for a link to the recording of my Google Analytics webinars. He cares full time for a man that has had a stroke and is now blind. It reminded me of my Mom and how she went from an independent strong woman of 63, to someone who had to depend on me. (in ways i can't describe)
So, as I am about to see 26,000 G+ followers I want to help Margie realize her dream of what she could not do for her mother and desperately wants to do for others to honor her Mother.
My commitment is to share everything Margie directs me too, and since I love Margie very much, and in memory of my own mother, I encourage you to hashtag all your posts with #hangoutcaregivers and figure out how to bring the outside world that we take for granted to those that deserve it most.
Please connect with and let those of us fortunate to have large followings on G+ spread the word and support your efforts.
Many of you know my story. This one is for my new friends here.
One fine day, just this last summer I went to get up off the couch after going through some homework with my young daughter.
I nearly fell over as my equilibrium was messed up.
In that moment I lost most of my hearing.
Not wanting to scare my kid, I composed myself and went to the doctor. We assumed that it had something to do with my inner ear.
This was the same week that handing me an invite to Google+. Day one here, as I like to call it.
Someone posted a picture here that really moved me, and being as I could not hear anyone, I went to work and grabbed my camera and headed down to the cliffs not far from my house.
I took this picture, went home and pulled it off my camera. I knew right then in there that I didn't lose something.
I gained something.
Months of testing yielded nothing so one day I just got some hearing aides. Of course I went right back down to those cliffs to make sure I still saw things in this new light.
Today I can hear you. Today I hear in colors.
I love organic gardening, cooking, traveling, making pots, biking, hiking, being outside in nature, and hanging out with my friends and family.
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
- OU and UofA