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freya Fluharty
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freya Fluharty

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I was the recipient of domestic abuse. So difficult to say - harder to accept. Even now, almost ten years after I 'escaped' I still feel a little - silly, I suppose - saying it. Thinking it. I thin...
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freya Fluharty

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As I get older my desire for a place of my own increases. Simon never worried about it; his father would suggest on rare occasions that we take out a mortgage and become landlords but it never happe...
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freya Fluharty

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Flavia is having bouts of Prom fever. Yes, I know it is far too early and I have (in my previous life) castigated girls who were more interested in transport and necklines than their upcoming GCSEs b...
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freya Fluharty

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I hold my hands up in admission - I am a guilty person. If the Police are behind me when I'm driving I automatically feel guilty even though I have insurance, road tax, a road-worthy vehicle and my d...
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freya Fluharty

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It's Flavia's birthday today. She's 16 (and, as she solemnly told me, next year will be 17....no!) and yesterday was our (Mark and I) wedding anniversary. We've been married for eight years, which i...
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freya Fluharty

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All true!
I have Sarcoidosis (oh, lucky me). I also, as a result of the Sarc, have Fibromyalgia and (because of the aforementioned Sarc or for some completely different reason, such as a trapped nerve or just b...
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Have her in circles
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freya Fluharty

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What have they got against pedestrians? I don't care what they say, how they prate about 'carbon emissions' and doing their bit - what about boring, basic stuff? I have yet to come across a supermar...
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freya Fluharty

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As I get older my desire for a place of my own increases. Simon never worried about it; his father would suggest on rare occasions that we take out a mortgage and become landlords but it never happe...
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freya Fluharty

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I hold my hands up in admission - I am a guilty person. If the Police are behind me when I'm driving I automatically feel guilty even though I have insurance, road tax, a road-worthy vehicle and my d...
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freya Fluharty

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I know, I know, a hideously long time since my last update but it was not intentional; more a tree falling in the forest moment (or moments) coupled with playing with my meds. I keep hoping I can red...
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freya Fluharty

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Debating
I have a problem with modern life - actually, that's not fair; I think I'd have problems in most eras. I'm always amazed the way people lie - in Court, to each other, to strangers. I'm not talking whi...
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freya Fluharty

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Enjoy
Today is one of those days. My mother is finally out of the hospital (carers four times a day) and we (Mum, my aunt Margaret, my brother and my sister and her family) as well as Mark and myself are me...
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Have her in circles
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Female, married, mother, former teacher, aspiring writer, developing cynic and unrepentant dreamer
Introduction

Loads of unfilled dreams - I wanted to see the pyramids, a glacier (I needed proof they moved), Machu Pichu, the Aurora Borealis, lions and tigers and bears (oh, my) as well as beaver, otters and kingfishers but a highly controlling and abusive husband put paid to all that.   The irony is that, since I left him (yes, dear Reader, I did finally stop being a wimp, even if it was not only high time but also a rare thing) he goes on foreign holidays. I sometimes wish I believed in reincarnation simply because then I'd at least have the hope that my ambitions would be fulfilled in another life. Ah, well.

 

My husband, Mark is American - a former US Marine and of redneck propensities few would have put us together and I suspect there are those out there who think our coupling is odd.  Whilst he's a good ole Southern boy who used to actually enjoy getting into fistfights, I had a very closeted upbringing before marrying my sociopathic ex.  Whilst Mark never had the chance to do much academically only finance (or lack thereof) stopped me from going for a PhD. But, there we go.

 

Our ambition is to make it back to the US - we're in the UK at present because of aforementioned idiot ex making life a living hell regarding our daughter but Mark misses America terribly.  Highly patriotic and having enormous pride and love for his country I find it mindboggling that he willingly came over here to be with me.  Greater love etc.  Apart from my ex-husband  being an ass (three separate Court processes which drove me into bankruptcy.  Brilliant) things weren't too bad until I became ill (Sarcoidosis) and then things hit the fan.  I was unable to teach, the Govt wouldn't let Mark work and there were times we had to depend upon the local Foodbank.  Terribly embarrassing.

 

My daughter, Flavia has only just started seeing her father again after she got tired of his unreasonable behaviour. Personally I think he should feel blessed, especially when one considers he puts himself before his daughter. Determined not to pay child support he's managed to get by with the equivalent of approximately £1.60/day and decreasing all the time.  So she's had to give up the netball team, tennis team, ballet and the cello which means I really want to kick him somewhere it hurts. I had hoped she would be able to travel, to experience things her mother has had to  put on permanent hold but there we go.  His needs must come first.

 

Since Mark is a man of action his enforced idleness hasn't sat well.  He's tried a few things - making jewellery, soap, candles (he's a cabinet maker by trade) but he's recently started painting in oils.  He's good and getting better and hopes to make a living out of it one day.  For myself I'm writing novels - well, one misery memoir about life in domestic abuse and the rest are hen-ish lit.  Unfortunately one can publish on Amazon easily enough, it's getting people to realize one is there!

 

Our aim/dream/fantasy is to get to the US.  Somewhere warm (Mark - he misses summers) where Mark can have a gallery/picture framing shop. A small, friendly town. We'd live somewhere on a ranchette (it works for me) where we'd have a few animals (dogs, cats, goats - I like goats - donkeys...that sort of thing) and grow our own fruit and vegetables. We both fancy an orchard.  I need trees, I like to see mountains and Mark loves fishing so ideally these would be incorporated.  It's a nice dream.

 

I'd also like Flavia to go to University but right now she's doubtful - the expense.  Her father just tells her to take out loans which again makes me want to inflict personal injury on him but there we go.  Not all fantasies can be realized!

 

So, there we go: an alpha, gloriously noble male with a ridiculous sense of humour and a tolerance for teasing, a daughter who accepts without question the extreme limitations of her life and getting clothes from charity shops and me - a woman who tells everyone (including herself) that she's a cynic but nonetheless still looks up at the stars and wishes.  How ridiculous is that?

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