Hello my friend, it has been a while since I last responded. But hope this helps somewhat. From what I can tell about you, you are an perfectionist wanting everthing to be just right, and thats good because you are passionate but even more so compassionate toward yourself and about what you do and how you do them. Which makes you meticulous to details and that is great. Because that makes you a progressivist. And that my friend is a great and wonderful thing, just think of every thing that you have completed as a chapter completed and the things that you feel are missing are the details and clues that you will discover along the way toward completing the next chapter in the book of your life. So dont feel like you have failed or missed out on something. Look at it as you are on an great adventure and your Laura Croft ( you know, tumb raider ) well wish and hope the best for you ttyl !