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Alexia Death
Attended University of Tartu
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Alexia Death

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Good read..
 
The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys.'

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

Dead on.

H/t +Mollie Pepper
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Alexia Death

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"Kodu Maal"
Acryllic paint on two 20"x40" canvases.

The name is kind of a worldplay in Estonian. It can be read in 3 different ways.
"Painting of a home"
"Home in the countryside"
"Home on Earth"

It's all three of these - a dream...
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Alexia Death

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Year is ending... Somehow it feels appropriate to look back at it all...

Years...

1983
Came without me, I was born with spring.

1984
No memories to keep

1985
No memories at all

1986
Vague memory of a light shining on a picture we had on the nursery wall...

1987
Flakes of memory, games, confusions... and my first blowjob... Calling it that came later of course... But that's what it was. My first paedophile encounter.

1988
My first boyfriend... In kindergarden... I was very naughty with him... Kissing in the sleeping room and all.

1989
Kindergarden ended and school started. We moved to our own house. No more bathroom... Just an outhouse. And a walk to school.

1990
Long walks to the bus, my first 2 (a failing grade) in math... being called names in school... paedophile number 2...

1991
Surprise - my youngest sister is born. Anxious August. Trafic sign banning tanks. Birth of a new Estonia.

1992
Summer full of bikes and kids and fun. A scraped knee for fall...

1993
Rubbed my thighs raw keeping up with other kids on a hike... Stopped going with them. Another run-in with the paedophile number 1. Something is wrong, but tears fall in a thunderstorm. No more red dresses.

1994
Mother gave me a book that explaned everything about sex. Too damn late! Also, men are disgusting... Why cant they just take care of themselves and instead abuse those who dont know any better?

1995
Poverty. No money for anything. Tossed a boy into a corner for calling me names. I'm bigger than them. If I only could catch them... I'm gaining weight fast, but quite fine with it. I dont like men liking me.

1996
More povery and name calling and piling on weight. But im not sad - I have my library books, my playing cards, my fools costume and my single solitary friend - an outcast like me.

1997
Friend moved away... But a new outcast joined me - she was not acceptable for being too short. School started physics. I weigh way more than my physics teacher and Im quite happy about it. I read "Mort".

1998
Year of hell. Ninth grade. Class joining with a paralel makes me spend time every single schoolday with people making my life miserable with impunity. Ignore the world. My Queen tapes are my savior... Storm takes the roof. On one fine night I become Alexia Death.

1999
Highschool. More names calling, but the main leaders have left school. Silence of the soul...

2000
Nice round number but more of the same...

2001
Highschool is done! University starts. A whole new game... SOOOOOOOOO much nicer than highschool. New friends... new suffering, an unrequited love. And 9/11.

2002
Lectures, games... Console hacking. Good times.

2003
More of the same, no highlights...

2004
University ends, the unrequited love fractures my world. Friendship ends. My first job. Almost a failing endeavor, rescued.

2005
Fun times at work, great gang of mates... Becoming active in opesource and finding new friends there...

2006
My second blowjob. Coming to an understanding of my own sexual nature. I am in control, I CAN choose. Liberation. Also a realization. Men dont like BIG girls is an UTTER LIE! Some dont, some do, very much so.

2007
Doing something about my weight, Im at my heavyest now - 144kg. Wiping my butt is hard. Enough is enough. Doctors better have some solutions.

2008
New job. My weight is down to 115kg... but... the love that fractured my world is back. I am hurting and he wants to be friends. I suffer. At new years eve, I choose with knife on my arm between life and death. I choose life and go wild.

2009
Wildness continues. I am insane. I meet an insane man and move in with him to far away. It's an insane love. It does not hurt but even in insanity I know it will not last.

2010
Another job, a better one this time. I'm getting better and moving out from the insane man, but the relationship lingers. I start struggling with my weight again. I am back at 135kg.

2011
I see another doctor about my weight, I adjust my eating... But the loss is still stoping. In the end of the year I recive my papers for bariatric surgery and start prepairing. The insane man does not like it at all.

2012
I leave the insane man for good. He does not take it well. I have my surgery and start the change. Midsummer I meet a sweet man... my man. Man I see myself giving the rest of my life. We move in together.

NOW
I live.  My weight is OK. Im still overweight but I am no longer tied down and oppressed by my own weight. There is a man next to me I wish to keep forever - if I succeed, I do not know. My past and my present and my future are balancing here I feel. Like on the top of a huge rollercoaster hill. There has been a climb... A slow long climb, to have all the potential I could have. Now I just need to take the ride. It is bound to have some nasty loops... But it was the whole point of the climb...

P.S My parents dont know about the paedophiles and I wish to keep it that way, so if you know me IRL, plz dont mention them around my parents, otherwise I'm quite ok with talking about it these days.
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Leonardo José Consoni's profile photoJose Navas's profile photo
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I second that ^
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Alexia Death

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Elephant and the moon. Made for my younger sisther who thought I should do an elephant.
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Michael Natterer's profile photoAlexia Death's profile photoAlexandre Prokoudine's profile photoMichał Prędotka's profile photo
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:D At least its been a fun read...
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Alexia Death

Paintings  - 
 
Just assoted drawings...
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Wonyoung Kim's profile photoAlexia Death's profile photo
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A heart of a machine :) an imaginary one...
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Have her in circles
379 people
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Alexia Death

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Good read..
 
The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys.'

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

Dead on.

H/t +Mollie Pepper
2
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phanisvara das's profile photo
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Alexia Death

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Disabled veteran asks for public support; service dog faces euthanasia for biting woman who beat him with metal pole
An Army Veteran with disabilities is asking for the public's help in saving his service dog, Dutch, from court-ordered euthanasia. After being punched, kicked, and hit with a metal pole for several minutes, Dutch bit his attacker and has now been accused of being a "vicious" dog. 

Dutch is a 4-year-old American Allaunt, who is a registered service dog and an important part of Jeremy Aguilar's life. Dutch has never shown any aggressive behavior before or after the incident and is a certified AKC Canine Good Citizen. 
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Ted Polman's profile photo
 
Yes we live in a F, society but what can we do just talk. it's not against? or is it?
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Alexia Death

Paintings  - 
 
Elephant and the moon. Another one of those airbrush style speedpaints. Why an elephant? My younger sister thought I should do one... so I did her an elephant.
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this looks beautiful. great job done and keep up ;)
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Alexia Death

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Something Xmasy
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Renat Yakubov's profile photoAlexandre Prokoudine's profile photo
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Furry xmas tree :)
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Alexia Death

Paintings  - 
 
Series of paintings made with +GIMP.

To give gredit where its due, folowing brush sets were used:
http://www.ljfhutch.com/resources.html  -  a very nice brush set for gimp.
+Ramón Miranda 's refresher brushes for 2.8
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Oliver Villar's profile photoTharinda Divakara's profile photo
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color shadings & tone dynamics are used clever :)
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Have her in circles
379 people
Robyn Bowns's profile photo
Education
  • University of Tartu
    Computer Science, 2005
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