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Terry Fergus
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6 followers
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Things you never expect to see at the Post Office...bird boobs. THANK YOU Ma'am
  I will NEVER be this badass Nothing says screw you Surgeon General like the willingness to go to the doctor and say - Yes! I got Avian Flu from having bird titties. What are you going to say to me about that, Doc?   How the hell did I come up with that? W...
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Apparently I CAN be bought...if you have enough goats
Show me the Money   Sometimes you're a smartass and it drops your price...kind of like driving yourself off the lot prematurely.   My sons Dad told my youngest, Reece, he bought me for some goats. (Oh, you read that  correctly - GOATS).   "Really? How many?...
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No, I don't mind... Yes, you taste delicious! (Spock giving puppy-lovies)
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Spock taking a break from trouble...
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I am an Emotional Masterpiece
Just call me Picasso   I've decided I'm an emotional masterpiece, because it sounds so much better than unbalanced . I'm like Picasso, but without the wang...and with breasts. And maybe with my eyeballs in the right place.   So I'm like Picasso but BETTER. ...
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Things not to do with Ocean Spray
Dear Ocean Spray: You may want to talk to my son and stay away from old folks   Reece is talking to me on the way to the city and it sounds like he's pinching his nose shut.   "Is there a box of Kleenex in the backseat? I think you need to blow your nose," ...
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I had no idea reindeer got cold feet
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And then I Pee Stalked the Dog...
Christmas is either a Rip-off or Elves might be really Scary   Two words: hearing issues . This is the cause of much entertainment and distress in our house lately. Although I am mega-glad it's no longer just me with the issues (at least those issues ).   W...
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Resurrection by Dryer Sheets and Manger Danger
How to Not Pass Medical School "I know how to bring someone back from the dead," Reece informs me.   "Really?" I ask - and I am CONCERNED...will they be alive or will I be cleaning up after zombies, too?   "Well, just dead anyway," he clarifies. ( And this ...
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iPad Air...thinking I love it!
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