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Z MissBeGotten
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I am the of kind chick that when my feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's Up!"
I am the of kind chick that when my feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's Up!"

69 followers
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Have you ever looked at someone and thought "If I had your brain, I would shut it down and rent out the space"?

There are some places in the world where even I’m considered normal. I don’t want to visit any of them.

Look, if you can't laugh at yourself it just makes more work for me.

When someone asks,"Do I look fat?" the correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki..- ahh damn! He's under a blanket."

It's not even 10 o'clock and I've already used up all my "give a crap" for the day.

Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don't cut it.

When I pose a hypothetical question, it means that I've done something extremely stupid and got myself into big trouble and am trying to get ideas on how to get out of the situation without admitting that I'm in that situation.

The next person who says, "It's not the heat, its' the humidity" will learn that it's not my fist, but the impact.

It’s always so embarrassing when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
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