KATESOURCING By Kathryn Braid
Why can’t we just quit harping on about the descent of the royal angel for five minutes? Jesus Christ only got three wise men but they probably had more interesting things to say amongst them than any of the hundreds of papers have. The nation is crowned by a fairy tale glory as we excel at sleeping in the rain and wildly cheering at golden carriages. It’s like Shakespeare’s time but with Facebook.
Good luck little Princeling, we can only hope your Mother’s side has a lineage of men whose hair remains firmly on their heads. Daddy is looking a little, shall we say, bare on top. It’s good to know a royal prince can change a royal poo though.
We thought we’d jump on the bandwagon and introduce a few ideas of our own about the royal birth. As we are all aware, the baby was welcomed by a million cameras, blinded by a bulb flashing in his face before he even caught a glimpse of the country he is to rule. What we’re wondering is, why nobody thought to crowdsource the video content for this event? Userfarm could have had hundreds of cameras camped outside the hospital for weeks. No need to send those poor journalists, who I am sure have much better things to do, like look into the latest nutcase dictator throwing a tantrum.
Crowd sourcing could have saved:
The ridiculously unimaginative name "George"
Couldn’t this singular, God sent event actually have also helped to improve our economy? The number of papers, online publications and gossiping aristocrats that could have applied to have the news covered by a freelance video maker through Userfarm is astronomical! Kate must have needed someone to film the blessed event itself. There’s a job right there, if a slightly uncomfortable one. The Duchess sitting apparently demure, barely squirming as the little gentleman makes his own way out into the world. Daddy smiling through his grimace as Kate lets loose her quiet agony on his soon to be broken hand.
The child is also the property of the British state, is he not? Did we not then have some stake in his name? We could have crowdsourced that too! We could have had viral videos out in a few days and then a week later we could have been welcoming little Baby Edward home to Buckingham Palace. The Twilight nation confirmed. With all the attention he’s been getting it wouldn’t be a surprise if he started sparkling in the sunshine. A fairy, vampire and Prince combined. But they went with nice old traditional George. Let’s just hope he takes after good old George the sixth and some photographer doesn’t snap him talking to the trees.
We knew it was a long shot when we considered this, but we felt this event was a global attraction as is our crowdsourcing endeavour. Good luck Duke and Duchess Fairy tale, we here at Userfarm wish you a wonderful (maybe even normal?) family life. Now let’s quit wasting time and begin pitching for the inevitable stream of Baby Windsor adverts about to erupt onto our screens.
(This is a tongue-in-cheek article written with utmost love for the new bundle of joy.)