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Happy Place
Worked at Self
Lives in Oxfordshire
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Happy Place

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Friday Thought...
Tips for reserving your place in Heaven:

A few weeks ago it was very rainy and I noticed a few poor mums with prams (strollers) trying to scale the slippery heights of the mud slide that is the entry to their school.

To qualify: Most walk in across the field from the estates around the school and it is the field exit that gets dangerously messy.

As Brits are 'private complainers' the conversation is "someone should do something about that" or "someone should complain about that".

And no-one does.

In fact, I sympathise, because even 'with' that call nothing would probably get done.  And so the national apathetic-lethargy perpetuates. (Whew... I'm all Lex'd out!)

Time for renegade action!!
(And Hyperbole for comic effect)

I grab a spade and pitch fork and storm the local government offices....shouting for taxation to be lowered until public service levels are higher.

No OK I didn't do that but I do use these to dig two steps in the soil and clear some sludge so that there is better drainage and safer walking for all the little kids... and mums n' tums.

There then, diabolical in all other parts of my life but not in my public spirit.
(Notice I do not use the word Magnanimous due to the elitist connotations.)

In the words of the great British philosopher Russell Brand: "I do not think myself better then you, just different...., in a better way!"

Cheery Poem of the week:
Good deeds can be done without thinking twice
Whether your a saint or a scrooge-to-be
The ultimate gift is to do something nice
for someone you don't even know; Won't even see!

Anything new on my endeavours blog?
Have a week!
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Word of the Day : Allegory
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Friday Thought...
Tips for not being Paralysed by fear:
It seems to me that most all individuals are afraid.
It may not manifest itself physically or be a big problem day to day.
But how often do you come out of your 'ever so safe' comfort zone and jump for the moon?
(Ok hyperbole, but jumping for just a slightly better life.  Whatever that means to you...)
I find myself a bit out of my comfort zone on a flight to Ecuador, North West of South America.
(CANCELLED at one know) but I'm coming out from what has been,
realistically, 4 years of retirement and it's hard to shake off the 'lazy' that you become.
As always I'm being hard on myself as I'm never just doing nothing.
But what is hard is the focusing of time on things you 'should' be doing, and not what you 'want' to do.
If you're the boss, you can do what you like.
So as I sit on this flight, the fear I have is the unknown.
Will I be able to sit for 3 months and productively use my time.
I don't feel like I spent the last 6 months productively.
Despite running company1, the divorce, the baby, cycling a country and the amelioration surgery.
Again, being too hard, but if I don't have this drive for satisfaction, I am not sure who I would be.
Certainly I feel emascalated for those 4 years off and that is complex, but....
 Man needs a purpose.
 To feel like a man.
 Man loses purpose...
 Woman takes man's role.
 Woman loses respect for man.
 House falls.
I see this as a modern epidemic as more role-reversal happens in society.
So my fear is failure and what rides on the success is big for reasons that will become apparent with truth.
I do know that like a lottery..."you have to be in it to win it".
I have to make the first steps to that and I bet I find it easier than I think.
I just need to enjoy it as you have to enjoy it to put the energy in.
Don't be paralised by fear.
I'm trying.
Anything new on my endeavours blog? You bet!
Have a week!
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What is the difference between Idiom and Vernacular or even argot then?
(without using the word Subset.) . Craig
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Free Xmas music with a trial of Amazon prime!
Unlimited One-Day Delivery of xmas gifts and more
Prime members enjoy unlimited One-Day Delivery and exclusive access to movies, TV shows and Kindle books.
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50 Interviews: Entrepreneurs
Fascinating stuff, your learning from decades of experiences in short punchy text-bites.
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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships
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Friday Thought...

Tips for Communicating with humans:

Ok, granted, I have 'opinion' about money and happiness because
when I was 24 I had a whole load of one and nothing of the other!

Maybe it is a maturity or life-lesson thing, maybe it's just me
but one does not equal the other. (youtube: satisfied mind jeff buckley lyrics)

However....and this is big for me..."If it's important to you it's important to me".

This is definitely my life-mantra and so all things then become negotiable...

Squint and you can read the article that my father kindly
brought me on a recent trip, but if not here is the punchline:

"...perhaps true freedom in travel (and in life) really does come only  when you take money out of the equation altogether."
 Tom Allen
 Janapar – Love, on a Bike

Speaking of freedom, you can be free in your own home with the right attitude...

I believe my happiness and confidence comes from two people and many people, all at the same time!

I have a friend Jack who I observed talking to people, anyone in fact, with great alacrity and confidence.  The attitude I think is "I'm here, we're both human, let's chat!".
And I like that attitude...

And secondly, but not chronologically, or in any antecedence, my father who was a policeman for years and clearly was able to talk to anyone for that and maybe other reasons.  I remember even as a youngster that the people were charmed and he brightened them up.

As a boy and an adult I have picked up these fantastic traits and use them daily, more so recently.  My attitude is that I am duty bound to cheer up the person in front of me.

'I' am happy and everyone deserves that.

The girl at the checkout who looks like she could slip off her stool and under the desk never to be found.

The librarian who you give the choice of a question being 'boring usual' or 'exciting unusual', leaving them with a smile to break the 'Ennui of the Books'.

It works both ways, the more confidently you talk to strangers the more confident you become.

Why? Do I think?

Endorphins ("endogenous morphine") - these wonderful things are there for a reason.
We fought and evolved and survived to get them and we should be using them more often!
As we are not in that dystopia yet of being able to turn them on with a switch, you will just have to brighten someone else up to get a free kick!

Cheery Poem of the week:

Maybe it's the pain of my daily exercise
Pumped-up biceps / Burning thighs.
But I'm bursting with Endorphins...
Spread a little happiness?, Wag some chins.

Anything new on my endeavours blog?

Have a week!
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Thanks to the FCC and Tom Wheeler for supporting local choice and broadband competition.
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Movie industry lobbyists at the MPAA are trying to resurrect SOPA-style web censorship via a back door. Let's defeat online censorship again. Tell the MPAA to kill the #ZombieSOPA.
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Friday Thought...

Tips for NO regrets:

Apologies for not posting last week I have no excuse bar 'the dog ate my homework'.

My female cousins reply to a nostalgic "remember this" email I sent her:

...If I knew then what I know now about life I would of done things differently I think.
Travelled more and not had a boyfriend through college are the top things on that list!
Thanks for sending that.

My Reply:
re:the past.

You can't regret the past as you still have time to do the things you want below.

If you really wanted to.

Anything you have in your mind of a "I can't" are just excuses.

What you don't want is to be 90 (hopefully older) on your death bed and saying those things.

That is then a tragedy.

Think: What's the worst that could happen and where would you then be.  That's the way to approach those fears.
For now, if you look back and had a good time each day that's all you can hope for.

Myself, it is hard to maintain that positivity, though I am a positive person, and lately I've been thinking that had I not met my Ex I may have a family I love and not be losing my wife, best friend and home all in one swift movement.  (It is, of course, far more complex.)

So I sympathise but can't let myself down with regrets....
I've just got too much rebuilding to do!

Smiling to yourself makes you feel better.  And listening to some
loud uplifting music....

The never ending beauty of being human!

Speaking of music and it being Christmas if you sign up to amazon prime trial, giving you fast christmas gift postal, you also get free christmas music.  Link is below.

Prophetic Poem of the week:

Baby's got a Baby: (lyrics for a blues style song I wrote and recorded in 1998)

Met her on a wednesday night
blonde hair big thighs
oh and I think brown eyes
of course she got my number
got my tax code too
(which I thought was strange)
she phoned me up this evening
guess what she had to say

Baby's got a baby, Baby's got a baby
My life is going down
(like you would not believe)

Well I'm a decent fella
said I would stand by her
but could I get to know her
biggest mistake of my life !
Fellas don't give them your numbers - just don't
I know this doesn't sound nice but
whats good for 1 night
Isn't good for life !!

they tell me im trapped now
with baby on the way
I really don't see how
I'm happier every day
SAID she can save me tax money
simple ... give half to her
I know I trust my honey
but mom said don't you dare
don't you F**KING dare !!

Baby's got a baby, Baby's got a baby
I'd like to leave town
(I've got the daddy blues)

More silly pics on my endeavours blog...
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Friday Thought...

Tips for missing important flights:
(thanks for the * bold tip +martinshervington)

Just when you thought life couldn't get any more dangerous...miss an important flight?!

If you want to completely miss an important flight:

Hang about as you "have all day to get there".

Spend time in frivolous chat to a good friend as you have "ages still".

Misjudge how long the train takes to get to the airport.

Be completely complacent because you have "checked in already and they have to let you on then!".

Get there 15 minutes 'after' all the staff (that print the coveted boarding passes) have gone home.

Realisation moments...(a selection of puzzled inner monologues)

"This train is taking ages to get to (the UK's London Heathrow) Terminal 2"

"I still have an hour until take-off but let's get there 'as fast as' and relax."

"Seems awfully quiet around departures..."

"This ticket machine will give me my boarding pass, easy peasy."

Not enough time before take-off. You must go to the check-in desk.
The message reads... mockingly.

Hang on this is because I already checked in online.  I'm sure.

I look around at the empty check-in desks....


A single male sits at a desk belonging to another airline.  I ask him where I go now if I did a self check-in earlier.

"You still need a boarding pass to get through security and the staff have all finished now."

My proactive self check-in double-smugness evaporates...
(Picture x-files fox mulder losing his 'cool exterior' and waving slime off his hands.)

I'm told I have to reschedule the flight for tomorrow (losing the 180 UK pounds) and worse... missing my operation time of 10:30am 'and' my taxi there.  Facing, probably, another months wait again.

Nightmare!  One of those hot flush moments after all the organisation.

If you know me, you know that's not acceptable...if that plane is on the ground I'm getting on it! (Picture evil creature from pilot episode of twilight zone gripping the plane wing and ripping vital parts off while John lithgow rants)

I thank him.

Maybe I do have a boarding pass on my phone so I go to security...

No! That's not good enough.
Go back two spaces!

I explain that I have an op in the morning.  I'm so close I can taste it!

The security boss man is brought in.
I pull the 'op' in the morning card...
"Escort this gentleman through and explain and try to get the staff to print a boarding pass at the gate."

He's my new best 'Eskimo friend'.

I'm through security.

'But' it is still up to the airline to let me on the flight.
Still not out of the woods.

A 'nice young man' helps direct me downstairs.  No! No-one on the desks.

"Let's go to the gate." All is not lost...hopefully.

My passport is scanned..."You were flagged as a no show sir and the flight has now been closed!"

"Do you have any bags to check in?"

"You are very lucky sir!" The lady smiles.

Yea I'm in!!

If you do want to get an important flight:

Do advance check in online.

Do still leave two hours AT the airport.  (Yes it's boring but it's "space for error" dummy!)

Don't believe the one information person left working that "all is lost" and you have to reschedule tomorrow. (What a diabolical Power-Trip-honey.  I bet he sticks around after hours to gloat!!)

Most importantly...

Do nice things for people and it will come back on you when you really badly need it! (Next weeks post)

Good luck!

As a p.s. I have not flown enough to be out-of-awe at night flying.  The "look mum" moments as you deep breathe at the tiny lights of civilisation.  The simple pleasure of 'eye-corner-peeping' at the frightened passenger beside you.
The intoxicating aroma of hot airline food merged with hotter passenger feet.

The millennium dome!

Right, now to read my 50 Entrepreneur interviews book...

Cheery Poem of the week:
Planning a trip is a right pain really
Trains and planes are part of the journey
Pack all your shoes, better clear the shelf...
Then struggle with a huge bag cursing yourself!

Check out my pate Amelioration on my endeavours blog?

Have a week!
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Friday Thought...(belated sorry.)

Tips for giving humans a-ha moments:

I always enjoyed giving people careers advice.
As a high paid contractor I used to love full time employees
leaving companies that really didn't treat them or pay them very well.

More recently, due to the general 'theme' I find myself conversing in, I end up consulting with people about their lives (and loves).

Today I was talking about how I used to bottle up any bad feeling and
not say anything and how, now, I immediately address the issue and
it is liberating.

I said:
"Why should you feel unhappy for one second in your life, if addressing
 it immediately makes you feel better?".

The person I was talking to looked at me with some amazement and said:
"You just might have solved my problem in that one statement."

Hopefully I am not a helpful-home-wrecker! now...but we will see.

The person I was talking to explained that when she does 'come out with it' it is taken as a critique.  Both sides feel unappreciated and put down.

I said that I think this is due mainly to the delivery (the state of mind)
when the 'bubble' bursts and out comes the venom!

There is a great book John Grey's "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" and I remember some of the salient points in it.

[Click above to order the book, get two copies, you know why!]

One great one is the 'Love Letters' idea.  So instead of you literally having an argument, you write a letter to each other weekly or monthly with some set headings like:  Love, Fear, Anger, etc.

I call this 'dispassionate communication' myself as it takes the edge off the angry delivery of it and you HAVE to communicate as it's a scheduled 'chore'.

At first it is very light as you are in the honeymoon phase, as you move on the first ones can seem petty, 'you didn't straighten the bed' style, but it can (and will) get more involved as time goes on.

I think it works on two levels:

1. It prevents 'the dishes' explosions...
A person gets angry about dishes not being washed or put in the dish washer but it is the focal point and not the real reason for the anger and problems.

2. A face to face confrontation is bad for the human.  The brain remembers.  The brain is designed for remembering faces that are hostile.  It is survival. Fight or flight style. So negative behaviour is a pattern you do not want to get into, especially with your nearest and dearest.

So face your demons immediately, but put it over in a clever way.  Or tactfully (if you prefer a non-manipulative sounding term for it).
Choose your moment...and that may be via the power of the pen!

But...bottling is bad!

Finally, maybe I am already, but one day I will 'feel' like someones superhero.

Cheery? Poem of the week:

(lyrics for a song I wrote and recorded in 1998)

Washing Up Divorce
Love's harder than it seems to be
Love's perfect only in dreams for me
Love's supposed to be a miracle forever
Its a miracle they're still together

By the anger smashed glass in the kitchen
I can see they've been fighting again
love vows destroyed having children
big day promises left out in the rain

so we walk silently, so as to not wake him up!

Its a pain, a god dam shame,
but on the cards of course
everyone's to blame everything's the same
its about time mum and dad got a divorce

From the screams that can be heard in the garden
logic and reason are going berserk
the children's birth had been the death of love
and the counselling doesn't work.

so we talk silently, so as to not wake him up!

you know sometimes I don't think its worth it
and people are much better apart
unless of course its written in the stars because U know 
Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars

so we play silently, so as to not wake him up!

Its about time they got a f**king divorce

You could walk for miles on the beach 
and never find fame
live your life with a bitch 
and play the routine game
how do you stop from going insane
playing the routine game?


+2 more silly pics on my endeavours blog sticky.

Have a week!
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Have him in circles
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Michael Lee's profile photo
Monila Reheman's profile photo
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Mary and David Kennedy's profile photo
Touching Lives
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Craig Kelly-Soens
The shame of wearing a reversed cap purely to impress...
...and secretly liking, not liking it!
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