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David Lorentson
Works at carronvale timber frame
Attended grangemouth high
Lives in grangemouth
3 followers|2,044 views
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David Lorentson

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20 things not to say to a cop


20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary!

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
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David Lorentson

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Billboard! Break Up. – Steven and Emily -
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Have him in circles
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Gillian Laing's profile photo

David Lorentson

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I actually did lick your picture on my phone screen last night. But only because I spilt beer on it.
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David Lorentson

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I shall be placing these strategically around my neighborhood today...
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David Lorentson

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Taking it easy 
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Have him in circles
3 people
Gillian Laing's profile photo
Education
  • grangemouth high
    1994 - 1999
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
November 24
Work
Occupation
joiner
Employment
  • carronvale timber frame
    joiner, 1999 - present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
grangemouth
Previously
grangemouth
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