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Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
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14 followers
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Denial is serious. It’s a refusal to acknowledge truth or reality. It can have benefits, but denial can also be our undoing and have life-threatening consequences. It affects not only individuals. Denial in the form of “group-think” can dangerously take over families and entire groups. Organizations, sub-cultures, religious sects, and political zealots can deny abuse, addiction, racism, genocide, corruption, and criminality.
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Codependency is based on false, dysfunctional beliefs that are learned from our parents and environment. Recovery entails changing those beliefs, the most damaging of which is that we’re not worthy of love and respect – that we’re somehow inadequate, inferior, or just not enough. This is internalized shame. Last year, I published a blog, “Codependency is based on Fake Facts,” explaining the effects of this programming, which squelches our true self. Romantic love that’s mutual can for a brief time liberate our natural, true self. We get a glimpse of what it would be like to live unshackled by shame and fear―why love feels so wonderful.
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Codependents lose themselves in relationships, unaware that losing our Self is the greatest despair. When they end, it's devastating, because we are lost. We can reclaim our Self in recovery.
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Valentine’s Day is fraught with landmines, whether you’re in or out of a relationship. Is your situation described here?
Read 6 tips for having a great holiday.
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Self-esteem is key to success in work, and enjoyment of life and relationships. It affects our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and how we handle life's challenges. Low self-esteem underlies addiction, anxiety, depression, abuse, intimacy problems, and codependency. Our self-esteem is usually determined by our teens, but there are specific things we can do to raise it. This webinar defines and describes self-esteem both high and low, as well as its sources. It discusses clues and symptoms, so you can assess your own and identify beliefs and behaviors you want to change and those you want to implement. It details 12 crucial steps to build self-esteem and self-love with many actionable tips and exercises you can immediately put into practice. See also the ebook on overcoming self-criticism, 10 Steps to Self-Esteem: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism, which is an important factor in raising self-esteem. Read more:
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem
whatiscodependency.com
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Love entails overcoming defenses of denial, withdrawal, control, or placating to avoid vulnerability and intimacy. See a checklist of relationship problems. Read more:
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Slips in recovery are growth opportunities!
Khan Academy
Khan Academy
khanacademy.org
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