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Platonism blog
JoachinJoseph Inspirational personal blog
JoachinJoseph Inspirational personal blog


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It is totally normal that everyone gets married thinking that life will be happy but not everyone find it happy till the last day of their life. The problem with the current generation is seeing everything as a business and goals. This will never go hand in hand with the relationship in long term. Relationship goals and relationship as a goal are different. It is something between the two and nothing to do with the external world, but it is difficult to maintain the happiness throughout. I put down my top 15 ingredients of a healthy relationship.

1. Give enough personal space, do not take everything granted
Just because you're in a relationship, this doesn't mean that you need to share everything and be together always and also do not hide if something is important. Crossing the limits will make your partner think as an annoyance, maybe not on a day one but this will happen one day. A good relationship needs some private space. A good relationship will allow each other to enjoy with their friends. Do not bug your partner to share the Facebook password.

2. Do not compare or force a change!
Accept your partner as such. Everyone has got a unique thing, find and encourage it. Trying to change your partner in a bigger way eventually, makes your partner live an artificial life. One fine day the balloon will burst.

3. Do not argue stir the past
You are aware of your partner's vulnerable emotions and spots. Do not use these in any argument. Winning an argument will create only a hatred. It is not a business, find happiness in your partner by making your partner win.

4. Be patient in the goals.
Whether it is relationship goals or career goal or financial goals, do not set a target and work. If you encourage and motivate your partner, eventually big things come in your way. Respect each other's aspirations and ambitions, encourage your partner to attain it.

5. Let it go
Holding egos and grudges can be damaging to a relationship. Do not feel low or embarrassed to talk first after a quarrel. Understand that everybody commits a mistake. Do not hold grudges and forgive one another for mistakes, because small words can suppress the mighty love.

6. Listen more and let enjoy
Listen and try to understand each other. Do not argue but complement each other's thoughts. Your partner is not expecting a solution from you always but just a listening ears and carrying shoulders. Most of the times listening ears works better than advising tongue.

7. Appreciate and compliment each other often
because both men and women like it. Women express it and Men don't. Show your gratitude even on simple things. Sorry, Thanks, I appreciate it, You have done a good job, you are correct, I agree with you. All these are simple statements but we never make use of these. To be honest, it is easy to get the work done by using these words.

8. Ready to apologize
We are ready to ask apologies to unknown third person but not to the close ones. Just question yourself when did you ask sorry to your partner last time. Apologize for the sake of the relationship and your children will learn the habit of asking sorry by seeing.

9. Spend quality time
Spending time with your partner is the best way to give respect to your partner. It is the most needed at everyone's home nowadays because we are living in the digital era where finding a time to talk with your best ones are difficult. Communicate with each other at least 20 - 30 mins every day. Laugh out, keep your mobiles and TV remote aside.

10. Do not force
Violence and harassment can never be a part of a healthy relationship. The attitude of forcing your partner to do something disliking will eventually make your relationship as 'masters & slave' relationship. Just respect and understand each other. Always think from the opponent's point of view.

12. Never go to bed angry
Begin and end your each day together not just with your presence but also your mind.

13. Be supportive during tough times
Tough days will be there surely for everyone, trust and help your partner to come out that quickly. You are first and most expected one to be supportive on the tough times of your partner.

14. Earn Memories than money
Money is really needed, no second thoughts. But good nostalgic memories are much more needed than the money when your turn the pages of your history. Make sure you create some good memories to smile and cherish on your last days. Live the life completely.

15. Be yourself and love unconditionally
This is the most important of all. Think of the word 'unconditionally', it means, not subject to any conditions. So love your partner without any conditions.

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. If not take the first step before it breaks.

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How, What, Why to write in 'My personal diary'? Personal diary writing - methodology
A diary can be your very best listening and loyal friend. I think it is a right time to post this, as many people will take resolution to start writing a personal diary. Keeping and writing a diary is one of the most important things in my life. I am the biggest fan of writing my diary. Diary writing is considered to be a very personal form of writing. Even though the people all over the world prefers to use blogs and other digital formats to write Diary, however the conventional style of writing in a paper diary is still a popular form of expression of one’s thoughts and feelings. It gives me pleasure and feel, when I write in paper with my own hands, because whenever I write with my hands, I will think and feel the each words I write. I started writing two times earlier but failed to continue, but now I am doing it every day for the last three years, 2016 is my 4th year of my journey.The only reason is, I like to write. I share my opinion here on how to start/write diary. whatever I mention below are my opinion only.

Why to write a diary
The basic rule of writing Diary is – Write if and only if you really feel like writing a Diary, don't just do it for the sake of doing, following your friends or relatives etc. who may have a habit of writing a diary.
It is a good activity to look back at our life and analyse on the basis of your past, It is accounting mechanism.
Reading old memories: I cannot tell you how much I love, love, love when I read my diary which I wrote few years back. When I turn up in a new place or start a new part of my life, I like to write what I want to achieve or my first impressions and re-reading these is so much fun and useful.
Get to know yourself better
Your life time friend: People will come and go in your life, but He is the best one who can come along with you all the time and to whom you can share everything.
Understand that eventually the diary will become your best friend, silent confessor, or witness. You will eventually trust your diary more than anything, even your biggest secrets and you will start speaking with him.

How to write a diary
Doesn’t need to be formal: It is for you. So try to give importance to the content and not to the format and handwriting. But make sure it is legible.
A Diary is very personal form of writing, thus should be written in a private or secluded place, like your bedroom, study room or any place where there is nobody else is present. It is best to write where nobody can see you writing in your diary. This will reduce the possibility of the other person's attention towards your dairy.
Keep your diary secret as far as possible because revelations of its contents may harm you or those persons feeling about whom you have mentioned something in it. For keeping it in a secret way, you can write in a coded form of names. That is how I encode it when I mention a name.
Most important of all, the dairy should be of high quality paper and written by a quality pen to last the writing a life time.
The quality of Diary writing depends upon the creativity, imagination and expression of the individual. Diary writing skills can be enhanced by imagining and emotions a situation that you put in.
Write truthfully. Write about your secrets which you cannot expose in front of others. It can be about your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend)
You can also stick some souvenirs like photos, flower petals or anything associated with what happened that day to be more creative. I even attach the bills and others notables too.

What to write in a diary
What to write : Simply, Whatever
It is highly appropriate to write your diary ‘before your day begins’ or ‘before the day ends’. Writing ‘before the day begins’, enables you to express your emotions about how the day will turn out to be, what you dreamt in the night etc. At night you can summarize the events of your day, you can relate it to the emotions you had in the morning and so on.
It is not necessary to write every day. Write only when something unexceptional or interesting happens in your routine life. Uneventful days can be written with just Date and Time, with a line or two describing it. Because routine things spoils the quality of the content.
If you are wondering what to write then there is no dearth of what you want to write. The matter which can write can be anything like your achievement, hopes for the future, mistakes, improvements, likes, dislikes etc. Whatever you write, it should be legible and neat, so that when you want to read it later after decades you don’t have to guess the alphabets you have written.
It is not compulsory to write every event of the day rather made only exceptional and entertaining details. Writing in detail about everything will make your writing boring and lengthy and will drain your energy.
Diary Writing is not just about words. You can also create self-portraits, pen portraits of others; express your experience, hopes, fears, joys, sorrows etc. with these graphics. However don’t overdo it, which will make it more like a scrapbook than a Diary.
You can also use some photos, flower petals or anything associated with the happenings you are writing about to make it more and more creative and attractive. If you went to a theater to see an interesting movie or a concert, you can paste your entry passes or tickets to make it memorable.

Diary must have(according to me):
Date: Date for which you are writing. Follow the same pattern till the last page. Most of the diaries comes with imprinted date.
Time stamp of writing: Some prefer to write the diary at night, which may become next day. So I used to add this column on every page.
Place: This shows where was I writing the diary, and at future I will come to know that I was there on that particular day.
Salutation: For effective Diary Writing, one can address his/her Diary as a second person, like ‘Hi! Diary’ or ‘Dear!, Diary’ or one can call it anything like friend, bro or name it like Prince, Tom etc. according to one’s choice. This method is effective because we tend to be more open about our emotions and word formation is easy because, in our day to day life we interact in this way. So it’s natural and effortless technique.
Authentication: Always put your sign at the end for authentication that you have written it.
Heading: A suitable descriptive heading which will describe the entire page or day. Ex: ‘It was a Blessed day’, or ‘got congratulations’, or ‘so disappointed and Hectic day’.
Optionally,You can add this too. I write the dress and color and the foods I have taken for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. Now You may think it is silly, but after some years it will be a moment to cherish.

Don't be dishonest: Do not cheat and be honest, because you are writing your words of hearts, and which is especially for yourself. So do not cheat.
Don't keep it open: Never give your diary to anyone to read or comment. If you have the attitude that someone will read this one day, then there you will not be loyal to your diary. Keep it tucked away from prying eyes.
Don't write it on social media. Try to write your journal on diary, not on online media or social media.
A diary should be written for first person, not second or third. (i.e.) you write for yourself about yourself. Ex: I went to my school. (not he went to school)
Do not write bluff. Always write truthfully. This diary will always listen, never forget, never judge and nor will it ever reveal your secrets. So do not worry about writing the truth in it no matter how horrible it is.

Problems in writing
Don’t get discouraged: Writing your diary daily can get repetitive and discouraging. However, fret not for a diary provides a record of your life, in only your view, and no one else.
Make sure you keep up to date when writing a diary: Always try to keep your diary with you. I used to take wherever I go. Don’t try to postpone the writings. You are writing it for yourself not for any assignment.
If you have not written in the diary for a few weeks, then do not worry about it. You can surely put up the new date and give the reason and apologize for it. After all, it is your friend! For example, - Sorry I could not write to you. I was terribly busy.For the dated pages, leave it empty or just write a apologize statement.

Fine, let me summarize this to new joiner into the club:
Things your diary doesn’t have to be:
Neat and tidy
Grammatically correct
Politically correct
Interesting to other people
What you did today
Things your diary might include:
A record of events
Concert tickets
Things your diary probably should be:
A few last things to think about:
You can write anywhere
You can write anytime
I hope, this will gives some good view for those who start to write diaries, because I was also inspired some article on news paper, but later it became a part of my life now.
Platonism Blog
‪#‎diary_writing‬ ‪#‎diary‬ ‪#‎personal_diary‬ ‪#‎hobbies‬ ‪#‎journal‬

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People say Diwali is a festival of lights, But in reality it is a festival of sounds, For animals and birds, it is a festival of torture. 

I ain't against this celebration of joy, but we should not spoil the joy of others living beings. 

Every year, it is a tough time for me and my parents to handle our dog. He hides himself under the cot and will not eat throughout the day in fear. His heartbeat will climb up and shiver out of fear. It is always the same case for many who have pets and tackling their furry friends owing to noise created by loud crackers. 

This ear-splitting sound of crackers not only scare these animals and birds, sometimes it even traumatize them. Sadder part is for birds, Birds sometimes leave their younger ones and fly away in fear and never come back. Thousands of dogs suffers burns every years and it is reported that there is a drastic increase in pets lost cases during Diwali celebrations, because they run away from their shelters in fear. Also when they run away, they get into accidents with speeding vehicles. Homeless animals are the worst affected as nobody is there to pacify them and they will not be in position to come out in search of food.

Also nowadays, the situation in India is going so worse. People esp children enjoy playing pranks with pets and strays. I have seen many children teasing animals, especially the strays. They derive great pleasure in scaring a dog by tying fire crackers at its tail. I exclaim what kind of entertainment they get from that. Please, never do that. Please do not tie crackers to their tails or intentionally crack near to them. Some gets burns in their whiskers and some become blind or deaf. Even small dogs and squirrels dies in the shock created by crackers. 

After every celebration, there lies an unexpressed torment,
After every noise, there lies a hidden sorrow,
We need to understand, This planet is created not only for Human beings,
We need to realize, Earth is the only abode for many species.

Pets and strays and birds which cringe at the pain that these noise creates are now at your mercy. If you think about this for a moment and sacrifice your little temporary happiness by avoiding loud crackers can save the life of many living beings and their livelihood. We need not to be a veterinarian or animal activist to save the life of animals and birds, But just by being Human. 

I am not saying 'stop bursting crackers', but try to show some compassion towards our furry friends and birds in our homes and in our neighborhoods before bursting loud crackers.

​Joachin Joseph

#Platonism   #Pawsitivity    #Diwali   #Pets   #SayNoToDiwali  

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Great minds discuss idea. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Whether a male or female, both spends a considerable minutes of time in discussions with their friends, colleagues, family members etc, But how healthy & useful are those discussions to their intellectual life. Most of our day to day discussions can be categorized within the topic idea, events and people. If you find yourself falling under the category of events or people, You need to worry, Redirect your discussion to a level better than what you have now, Because useless discussions are not a way towards your journey success.

When I think about Roosevelt quote little deeper, It gives me so many abstract questions. It doesn't describe what the Poet's intention was, when she says great mind. Does she mean the great mind as intelligent one or significant about life? But in both the cases intelligent and significant people had ideas about what they want to do.  

Roosevelt was quite clear in her saying, I think. She doesn't emphasize "Great mind discuss only idea" or "Only great mind discuss idea". It is not claiming any infallible law. I think this quote would have risen in her mind out of her observations, but that is often true isn't ? Also Look objectively at the various spheres of people you came across? The ones that gossip all the times, how many instances it triggered your insight? Candidly? Honestly? The ones I know, don't mostly. 

Also It gives me a feel that, Roosevelt intention in saying "great mind" was to describe the state of intellect thoughts than a person. 

People may ask whether the great minds doesn't discuss the events or people, Or People discussing events and people are having small mind. Yeah, everyone discusses all those at some point of their life, but the saying is clearly referring to the proclivities of said minds and not their only actions. Also the word "Discuss" connotes a deeper conversation than just small casual talk. Intelligent people will spend more of their time thinking about grand ideas than average minds. The average mind finds itself in thinking the worries of the past and the anxieties of the future. 

So I would say, what you discuss is the indicative of the true scale of your opulent eruditeness. How would you fit your quality of discussions among the three mentioned categories above? This made me think, Is that why the genius and brilliant people in the history hated socializing. There is some truth in this, isn't? 

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You may feel I am so silly to write this, But there are many occasions in my life where people asked me how am I maintaining a cordial relationship with everyone. People told me many times that, they have never seen me angry for anything. I feel privileged at times to think about this. Kindly note I ain't boasting. My mantra is very simple and they are...

Talk polite and less and listen more

Most of the times, Listening ears and more needed than the advising tongues. Nowadays world is changing so fast that everyone is ready to give an advice but no one is ready listen the victim. Try to speak polite on the topic than talking about self or advising. Always mind what you are talking. Smile and frown are in the power of the tongue, those who love will eat its fruits.

Never be sharp or straight forward

Avoid being sharp or snappy in retorting. Being straight forward never allows you to have a long relationship. At times, diplomatic answers are needed. Learn to give respect and understand others emotions. Never hurt anyone with attitude. 

Respect everyone and be where you are respected

If anyone thinks they are unique or having the qualities which others aren't having, They have the rights to expect the respect wherever they go. People may praise others if they are rich or in power but the respect comes only with the deeds. I feel people who deserve respect should be in the place where they are respected. If you do not get respect, shake the dust off and move away. You can not expect everyone to respect you, but you can choose the people to be associated with. 

Think from other's point of view

This is one of the common mistake we do unknowingly and easily. If you’re with a friend who’s eating in high end restaurant for the first time, empathize with that person instead of laughing while watching them fight with a knife and fork. Talk about the first time you used knife and fork and how it ended up falling off your table. When you make someone feel better, they’ll be grateful to you and like you more.

Keeping a smiling/warm face

Keep smiling and make them smile along with you! Even If you say a bitter truth, just make sure that opponent smiles after your words, else they will hate you. Keeping a smiling face is just an important sign that 'I have no issues in being your friend', if you are OK with me. I feel I am a receptive magnet when I do. Keep a warm face to everyone, then it will the character. There are some negative side on having this character, but trust me this will definitely makes a difference.

Everyone born as a saint, but the society will not allow them to remain the same. But at one point of time we learn what is good and bad. If anyone is so strong enough to follow their instincts, they are unique. Our own conscience is the best judge to differentiate the good and bad. You can attract the people in many ways, but earning a place for your trustworthy in their minds is not so easy. If you find you are having a good quality which may even be silly, never compromise for anything.

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Have you even gone on a walk on a good day and picked up a fresh green leaf. Well I have done so! Honestly if you just walk outside a pick up a leaf that would work just the same. Whenever I pick a fresh leaf on the ground, I usually tear it apart and sprinkle it on the air. Even today when i was sitting on the bench in my garden one fresh leaf fell on my thighs , as usual i was about to tear it apart and sparge it up, but before doing that i was stopped by something not by my instinct. Then I observed the leaf intimately and my mind started to wander and divagated.
And What I observed was..

Leaf is having two sides, one is glossy with gleam and other is abrasive 
             Even we accept or not, we have to agree this fact. We are not same to our self and to others. She/he is the real one, when he/she is alone. We are also having two phase and face, one for public and other for self. Of course, both the faces cannot be the same.

Only One side is visible to others, until you concentrate on it.
             Until and unless you go and take leaf and turn it, you will not see the other side. We are also the same, only few people who care us, will able to see other side of us. Rest will see only the glossy side what we show, like what we see on the leaves generally, that may not be real and duller than the publicized one. Wondering whether we learnt to hide our distress like how leaves do.

 Perforation caused by insects.
             Even we have the dents caused by others, which may be everlasting. Everyone's heart would have the scratch made by some people or by some incidents.

We will get help only when infected.
                 Gardener will take care of the leave if he see he leaf with a chew mark. Health of the leaf is the health of the tree, We can easily identify the health of the plant by its leaves which will indirectly tells, it needs some care. Similarly our face is the index of our health which will clearly depicts if we are hurt

Leaves not Leaf- Unity of leaves in a tree will give you shadow to many. Similarly If are united we can help our society which will in turn help you.

I don’t want to prolong this abstract, Nature is teaching us many things, It’s our responsibility to take it out.

Each Leaf in a tree are from one tree, like how we are from one fraternity. A Leaf cannot say it is the best in tree and even should learn not to think as if we are the best in the human community. There is nothing being so called as best in being in a same community  and at the end each and every leaf will have to fall down and get decay which will make us to remind we are also going to the same ground and get decayed one day or another. 

            Leaves are useful even when they are even buried, which is asking us the question, Are we useful to other in our lifetime at least? Understand the purpose of our life given to us.

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I don’t recall what has touched off the thought, but over this annual year break I had a little insight into the vital difference between a challenge and a competition of life.

Either God or Nature is creating us. Nature and God never fails to remind us every second that We are the unique and most successful right from you killed 20 million other sperms before you are formed and till date. Among the 7.2 Billion people, everyone of us is unique and everyone of us have at least one difference with one another. Then what is the purpose of competing with others? because, Everyone has their own unique track for their destination. The truth is none of us have to succumb to the spirit of competition. There is no competition with one another but only challenge with our journey. 

A competition is something like a sport event where there can only be one winner. It is an event where the winner is determined as a function of relative position. A challenge is an event where there can be multiple winners because winning is determined as a function of achievement based on static criteria.

People often say, 'my work is so competitive', 'my business faded down, due to competition'. That's why people do not teach business tactics and maneuver to others. It does shows mere jealously and selfishness than competition. There is a much difference is saying 'I should win' and 'I alone should win'. Life is so simple- Learn, earn, teach others and let them also earn. Then this blue planet will be heaven and its riches and glory shall be distributed properly to everyone. 

Opportunities are swimming inside the lake of life. Whoever puts their nets will surely get it. Opportunities seldom gets reduced when number of nets increases and where you put your net, matters. 

Life is not about reaching first, but reaching your destination you set. The distinction here might seem trivial, but I believe that we can find some valuable benefits from being able to distinguish between a competition and a challenge.

Life is so simple. 
If you believe yourself, you see your life as a challenging one.
If you fear yourself, see the life as a competitive one.
Competition is defeating other's life,
Challenge is succeeding your life. 
Conceive and steer your life in a right way. 

You can put max 2-3 goals if you consider life as a competition. Your team can put 11 goals if you consider life as a challenge.

I will give an example which may give you a good insight.

In case you and your colleague are both looking for same promotion and as the time for the decision is approaching fast, your colleague asks you for your help in finishing a presentation task because that specific task is something that you excel in. Just assume that you're not mandated in your job description to agree to help on this task. Do you help out?

There are arguments both for and against helping. Let's break down both of them:

case 1 : 

No, I don't want to help him. Why should I help him? If He's so qualified for this promotion then why does he need my help? Then when I agree to help him and the rest of his presentation is lacking he can blame me for its failing? No, I'll just let him crash and burn and be there to pick up the pieces. That way I'll look even better to the bosses, and he'll look much too incompetent to handle the promotion. This is my opportunity to stand out!

Result: You refuse to help out, citing your own heavy workload, and the task is finished by your colleague. The presentation turns out to be decent, but not as good as it could have been. The colleague receives glory for doing the best he could under the circumstances, but the company fails to receive the increased revenue it had hoped for as a result of the presentation. The company continues on as a limited growth business, unable to expand as it had anticipated. You get the promotion because the colleague is deemed "not ready" for a position of such responsibility. It means a meager salary raise for you, and a similar increase in revenue for the company. You're happy with your decision. Not much else changes.

Or, case 2 :

Sure, I'll help you. I couldn't let him give this presentation that represents the company without it showing the company's best work. And because I'm most fit for the promotion, I am the company's best worker. I wouldn't want the company to look bad when I know I'm capable of producing better. If this presentation fails, then the whole company fails. When the bosses find out I have helped him they'll be so impressed with my willingness to help my opposition for the promotion in the name of what's good for the company that there will be no way they don't promote me. This is exactly the opportunity I need to show what I've got. This is my opportunity to stand out!

Result: You agree to help out, despite your heavy workload and together you finish the task. The presentation turns out to be excellent, resulting in a large number of sales for your company. Your colleague receives a lot of praise for him hard work on the task and you are also mentioned as someone who sacrificed for the betterment of the company. The large influx of sales allows the company to grow faster than originally planned and now they are looking for two people to be promoted rather than one. Remembering the unselfishness and teamwork that you and your colleague showed on this most recent task, as well as its high quality output, the bosses decide you and your colleague are deserving of the promotion. The company continues to grow, perhaps faster than it would have had the presentation not been as successful, and in a few short years, you and that colleague have risen to two very prominent, powerful positions within the company. It means an enormous salary raise for you, and company culture is much more pleasant and cooperative.

I don't know about you, but I would definitely prefer the case 2 and recommend the same. Sure, it doesn't always work out that perfectly, but the point is in order to get ahead yourself, sometimes you have to help others first. In this particular case, by helping your colleague first, you, him and the entire company benefits. 

“Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti

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Fear and power of loneliness

I often gets the impression that many of us are afraid of being lonely and not willing to keep our environment silent. We can easily notice people tend to take in - text, music, TV, or even thoughts to fulfill the space. We always complain we do not enough time to have a peaceful life, we work so hard and earn more. 

Are we working hard to keep ourselves busy? I think 'Meh..perhaps'. We are afraid of keeping our self lonely. But sometimes we do face loneliness even when we are surrounded by people. Silence is not the only cause of lonesome. So We try to keep our self occupied with social sites, e-mail, songs etc... We share some thing and We receive something, we continue to spend overtime to keep ourselves engaged with world.

I have done an experiment by staying away from my notorious mobile and laptop for 3 days. I felt there is vacuum when I was lonely, It was hard to resist. My mind suffered a lot and wanted to concentrate on the worldly things. It is common that many of us are having that fear of being pushed loneliness. Many of us are not ready go into that vacuum. It gave me a way to practically understand and differentiate the terms loneliness and peace. It was a great thought process.

When we start feeling that vacuum, We feel isolated, void and unloved. But that is the space which can trigger the soul to find many unknown things. When we find something to distract our void. We indirectly give some unwholesome completeness, It is giving something which is not required at the place. May be like taking a additional cup of food when not feeling hunger, lying in bed when we do not require sleep, surfing in internet without any intention.

It would be better for us if we can go through the void and fulfill what is required. We need to confront the station than escaping with distraction. We can find so many inner needs and thoughts only when we go through the loneliness. It will teach us many things we can not be bought in our busy life. 

There are many ways to keep the concentration in silence yoga, meditation, etc... Busy world will come to experience the silence only when they understand it. Days are not so far. This is my practical experiment, So try it and enjoy the life. Sweet silence

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