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Celestial Laros
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The President’s Plaything Or What’s In a Name?

Few people remember that Warren G. Harding was ever President of the United States; those that do, could care less. The obscure early 20th-century president died two years into office after achieving little that was worth remembering. Count him among the worst of our nation’s chief executives who was best known for the scandals and corruption that marked his tenure in office. But that was until a few days ago when we got a sneak preview of the racy love letters between President Harding and his mistress, Carrie Fulton who also happened to be the wife of one of his best friends.

"Who the hell is Dr. Bawdy," you might ask?


« Farts Could prevent Cancer and More



The President’s Plaything Or What’s In a Name?

Few people remember that Warren G. Harding was ever President of the United States; those that do, could care less. The obscure early 20th-century president died two years into office after achieving little that was worth remembering. Count him among the worst of our nation’s chief executives who was best known for the scandals and corruption that marked his tenure in office. But that was until a few days ago when we got a sneak preview of the racy love letters between President Harding and his mistress, Carrie Fulton who also happened to be the wife of one of his best friends.

The Library of Congress this month will release more than 100 of these breathlessly passionate notes written by Harding to his mistress of 15 years… and they are “hot.”

Check out this one: “I hurt with the insatiate longing, until I feel that there will never be any relief until I take a long, deep, wild draught on your lips and then bury my face on your pillowing breasts.”

Most interesting of all was Harding’s on-going reference to his upright member as “Jerry”, describing it like an insistent friend who would arrive without warning and stay beyond his welcome. “Jerry came and will not go, says he loves you, that you are the only, only love worthwhile in all this world,” Harding wrote. “He is so utterly devoted that he only exists to give you all. I fear you would find a fierce enthusiast today.” In one letter penned just before the end of the First World War, Harding said simply: “Wish I could take you to Mount Jerry”.
Harding’s namesake, however, is pretty small pickings compared to a later chief executive, Lyndon Johnson who nicknamed his member “Jumbo” and was fond of showing it to other members of Congress; though it was a quite gratuitous gesture given how everyone already knew what a prick the President was.

It’s not unusual for men to name their organ, a fact I have recorded already in Bawdy Language, marking the special relationship men appear to have with their organ.

Isn’t it time you too got a whiff of the truth? Check out the brief history of the penis from “Bawdy Language.”

You Can Call Me…

On a first-name basis, Peter, Dick, and John stand out. Peter began as St. Peter, who held the keys to heaven, but after he had used them regularly for a few hundred years, and clearly was no longer a saint, he was reduced to just plain Peter, a long-time favorite name for the prick.
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    Scientist of bawdy human behavior
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Lawrence Paros is a Scientist of bawdy human behavior
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By day, Lawrence Paros is a master teacher whose work in alternative education has received national recognition; a neuroscientist who has helped design and market a unique device for the treatment of stress, and a self-described authority on language. His published works include numerous articles and a book on education, two earlier books on language, The Great American Clichè (Workman) and The Erotic Tongue (Madrona and Holt), and Smashcaps, a children's book (Avon). He is also a former op-ed page columnist for the Seattle Post Intelligencer and commentator on KUOW-FM, the NPR affiliate in Seattle.

By night, Paros travels where few etymologists have gone before-down the highways and byways of the underworld of language searching for evidence of humanity's struggle with its sexual persona. During these forays, he has managed to flush a variety of exotic species out of their hiding places and into the open-slang words, rich and colorful; euphemisms, flowery, arcane, and remote; and quaint sexual terms rescued from English past. He has assembled them together in to a single erotic tongue-Bawdy Language-and introduced it to the world as the new lingua franca.

His work has been informed and shaped by Dr. Celestial Bawdy, the esteemed scientist of human behavior who mysteriously vanished more than 150 years ago, and, after a brief sojourn in the nethersphere, suddenly reappeared on earth to share his life's work with Paros.

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