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That's Not Cool

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That's Not Cool

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It's Talk it Out Tuesday...time to talk about some Privacy Problems! Has this ever happened to you? 

"My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, and she told me the other day that if I really loved her I’d let her have my Facebook password. It’s not that I think it’s a big deal to give it to her, but I just don’t see the point of her having it. Is she asking for it because she doesn’t trust me?"

That’s Not Cool Tip: Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what is okay, or not okay, in their relationships. No matter how long you and your girlfriend have been dating or how you feel about each other, you have the right to have your space respected online and in person. Just because you want to keep your password private does not mean you don’t care about your girlfriend or are not trustworthy. We encourage you to make decisions that keep you happy, safe, and comfortable and to communicate your feelings with your girlfriend. When you tell someone “No,” they should respect that. If you continue feeling controlled or pressured by your girlfriend, talk to someone you trust like a friend, parent, teacher, or school counselor. You can also check out our Callout Cards for more ideas on how to tell someone “No” or to ask for space.
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When does affection become suffocating? What about when it's someone you really like? Where do you draw your line? 

"My girlfriend is ALWAYS texting me. She won't leave me alone for more than two minutes. She's always asking me what I'm doing, who I'm talking to, what I'm talking to them about, and demands to know everything I do. Then, when we hang out together, she's sweet and kind. She holds my hand and tells me she loves me. I love her too, but I feel like she’s suffocating me. What can I do?"

Join the conversation here:
http://www.thatsnotcool.com/TalkItOutForum.aspx?preview=true&forumID=eLzV_N_n2mA
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Apps like Snapchat and Instagram are fun, but unfortunately they are also sometimes used to share inappropriate or embarrassing photos. Have you ever experienced anything like this at your school? Take a look at today's Talk it Out post and tell us how you would deal with this situation!

"This girl in my class has been taking unflattering photos of me when I’m not looking and then sending them to all her friends over Snapchat. She writes really mean captions with the pictures and I was told that she has even drawn on my face to make me look ugly. I know it’s not okay but so many people at school do this. My friends tell me it’s not a big deal because the photo disappears after ten seconds. It still really upsets me. What should I do?"

Join the conversation here: 
http://www.thatsnotcool.com/TalkItOutForum.aspx?forumID=QJoDqot5KAs
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Yikes! Have you seen these online confessionals around your school recently? What would you do if you found rumors about you spreading online? Join the conversation and tell us what you think! 

http://www.thatsnotcool.com//TalkItOutForum.aspx?forumID=QJoDqot5KAs
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Pic pressure? Yikes! What can you say if someone asks you for a revealing pic? What if it's someone you really like and trust? Post your suggestions! 

"My boyfriend likes it when I send private pics of myself to him over Snapchat. I’ve never sent a nude one, but he always tells me how much he likes the pics where I try to look sexy. When I told my friend about this, she totally flipped out saying that he could screen capture my photos and show them to other people. I don’t think he would ever do this but my friend’s reaction made me start to worry that he might or that I could get into trouble. Should I stop?"

Join the convo here:
http://www.thatsnotcool.com/TalkItOutForum.aspx?forumID=QJoDqot5KAs
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I think that talking with your boyfriend about not sharing them with other people and making sure that it is a fun thing for both you and your boyfriend would be the best way to go. If you're uncomfortable with doing something, tell him that you are and don't let him pressure you into doing it. As long as what you're doing is fun for both of you, and you both understand what you want/don't want to come out of it, you should be fine. 
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Happy Talk it Out Tuesday everyone! Check out today's question...have you ever dealt with bullying or harassment via text? What did you do about it?

"I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he kept pressuring me to go all the way when I didn’t want to. Now he keeps sending me texts calling me “fat” and “ugly” and other terrible things. His texts are really upsetting me but I am afraid to text him back because I think it might make the situation worse. Maybe if I ignore him he will stop texting me?"

Tell us what you think! Visit the Talk it Out Forum:
http://www.thatsnotcool.com/TalkItOutForum.aspx?forumID=QJoDqot5KAs
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Thank you AOL impact for promoting That's Not Cool's Ambassador program today!

Interested in becoming a That's Not Cool Ambassador? Lear n more here:
http://bit.ly/1kyNV18
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People
In their circles
6 people
Have them in circles
31 people
yash shah's profile photo
Giacomo Gaiotto's profile photo
Brooke Lard's profile photo
Fadwa Farag's profile photo
bopsilove's profile photo
teensource's profile photo
Natasha Qistina's profile photo
Ijeoma Odunze's profile photo
adnan mahemad feel's profile photo
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Your cell phone, IM, and online profile are all digital extensions of who you are. When someone you're with pressures or disrespects you in those places, that's not cool.
Introduction
When does caring become controlling? When does affection become obsession? When does talking become stalking?

That's Not Cool provides tools to help you draw your digital line about what is, or is not, okay in your relationships.

Through our interactive website - www.ThatsNotCool.com - and on the ground activities, That's Not Cool is building a movement of teens talking back to pressure and control in their relationships.