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headley hauser
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Saying So-Long
Walter Bego, the chief muckety-muck of Go Figure Reads called me the
other day. (Never a good thing.) “So Headley,” said Walter, “how do you think the blog is
going?” “Stupid as always,” I say defensively. “Stupid, yes,” said Walter, “like a stupid box set....

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Dirk Destroyer - The Final Insultment
  Here it is, the HIGHLY ANTICIPATED (if two people following this thread constitute high anticipation,) conclusion to Dirk Destroyer's Less Destructive Brother.  What's happened so far?    Mostly political cheap shots and cigar innuendo.  (Wow!  That sound...

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I wrote a novel in my mid twenties. I thought it was great. Of course the technology was a little different back then. We didn’t
have smart phones, or pads or laptops or even desktops back then.
You had to chisel your story onto rock slabs. When you made...

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Dirk Destroyer Part 46 Chapter 26
    Now that I've angered both of you who are reading this serialized novel by posting the appendix last week, I'll get back to the story. Chapter 26 Fate without Tartar Sauce “Fish Stick,” Swampy croaked when I arrived in Two. All right,
that made more se...

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Reigning Cats and Dogs (and other potential monarchs.)
   When we domesticated the dog to help us watch livestock - it was our idea.  When we brought cats into our huts to cut down on rodents - we THOUGHT it was our idea.    We don't even call our relationship pet and master any more.  We know who's in charge. ...

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Dirk Destroyer Appendix Thirty-Seven Really Good Ideas
I have two confessions to make.  1) I miscounted the chapters in Dirk Destroyer's Less Destructive Brother.  There are two (which is more than one) chapters remaining (cunningly labeled Chapter 26 and 27.)  This means that I will not (as I  despicably (or s...

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Actonian by Will Wright
Actonian by Will Wright A jukebox is a magical thing to a five-year-old. A hamburger and
fries in a plastic paper-lined basket is a revelation. I discovered
these two wonders at a diner called The Actonian. I was the youngest of four, so my job in the...

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Dirk Destroyer Part 45 Chapter 25
Contrary to
Elmer’s nature he’s ignoring his younger brother’s instructions
and is trying to do something clever. This rarely
ends well. Chapter 25 Dude Dude had told me not to come back to the school, and not to play with
time again, but as glorious as Dud...

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Medical Pushery
I got my first pair of real glasses in decades a couple months ago.
My eyes are marginal and I’ve been able to get by on Dollar Tree
magnifiers, though I lack sufficient knowledge of botany to tell you
what tree grows dollars (or magnifying glasses for tha...

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Dirk Destrroyer Part 44 Chapters Twenty-four and 24
Elmer McFarland
finds himself in a mid-rise apartment in So-Ho, which bears little
resemblance to the Planet Two. He is also brokenhearted. But there’s
cappuccino gurgling in the kitchen. Chapter Twenty-four Legal Disclaimer Subsequent to my uneventful and...
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