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Mitch Alexander
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Mitch Alexander

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Yes, that's something I like so much about books!
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I learned to give not because I have much.
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true,this compasion
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Lexie Bean has compiled letters people have written to their own body parts. I am glad I was able to participate in this project. Along with this book there will be a traveling experience. The following was my letter:

June 14, 2013
This has been a long time coming. I realized that you have had quite a difficult time dealing with all this stress. It’s not that is didn’t notice, It’s that I failed to think about how important you are and how much I ignored you. You are part of me but you are still separate. I obviously never paid attention to you unless you were beating very quickly or were in distress. I noticed the physical pain associated with you. But that was just the physical aspect. So many years I spent time trying to make sure my story was true. I had to know that anything I told others was what I actually experienced. But what of you? I knew there was emotional pain too, but I choose to grant it value only in terms of what I experienced. I focused on the events. 

I am somehow engaging you now because I am crying. I don’t even know how much of crying is autonomic and how much is emotional activation. I guess I have ignored you my whole life because that is what I learned I must do to survive. I had to keep a relationship with my parents and my emotions made them upset. I am not sure one could call it anger, but they made me feel there was something wrong with me if I could not just pick up and move on with out any affect. I wonder if I betrayed you as much as I felt betrayed by my parents? I can use the word feel or rather felt easily in my wording or expression but is it just a filler word or a figure of speech. Do I really feel that loss at all? Do I even know how? 

It seems like everything I am saying is so hollow. If my own heart does not merit my attention then what else am I missing? What else am I ignoring? Do I pay attention to the other messages my other body parts send to me. Is it like the post office who loses a letter for twenty years and then all of a sudden you have it delivered. I don’t mean you as in the actual heart making sure I get the message twenty years later but then again as I am twice that age then maybe I was more correct than I had thought. How long have you been trying to get me to pay attention? Have I gone through times when I was more adept or aware than I am now, or I mean recently? Now that I am asking the questions are you going to hold back or are you so pleased that I am asking that you overflow with all this data that you have had to shove back on that shelf to protect me from myself? 

Now that I am here I am so confused. I don’t even know where to go with this. I feel like I need a break. I feel so overwhelmed with the possibilities. I will seek to stay open to all that you can share but I ask you to let it go at a pace I can attenuate. All this information is gushing and part of me is still holding back. I am sensing a growing pain in my head as the largeness of this task is taking hold. I wonder if this is something that I can deal with as I have had so much stuff as data or information to make sense of or if this is a latent adaptation that I must be able to bring other areas of my body together with some sort of order or compatibility. I feel I need to say I am sorry, but is that sorry cognitive or is a real feeling? I can’t say as I know. This is hard. I don’t know that I was ready to open this door. I know I have opened pandora’s box and I have no excuse for not seeing this through. I wish I had a teacher or guide to know what I am to do with all of this. 

I don’t I have only to pause and ask GOD for some sort of order or direction, peace. There are so many other descriptors that I cannot cognitively get a grip in them. I hope I don’t need to know all those other words or terms or whatever to make peace with my heart, with you. For someone who made a cognitive choice to feel my feelings when my grandfather died, or rather after, I don’t know that I gave full attention to anything that felt like a feeling. I wish there was some other word to use other than felt. It does not convey the essence of what is traveling through my mind. The English language seems to fall so very short of describing what feelings are actually being animated. I am going to have to draw this letter to a close so that I have time to process. 

Please excuse me until I can put things together and understand this in a holistic way. Maybe it will be a fuller scope or sphere with some time. Time? More time. I don’t like having to give this more time. I would like to clear it all up right now. There is a definite struggle between the cognition of what this “looks” like and the other aspects that have to do with feelings. Please find a center where the conflict can end. Would love to be able to say I love you but I can’t. I want to know what love is, I hope you can show me. I hope I can “listen”. I doubt very much that you have not offered me answers or suggestions. I have never been one to listen to you. I believed you needed to listen to me. I was in charge. Maybe I still am. I don’t feel in control. I feel very much out of control. 

Can we call a truce. I will give you room to express but you need to give me room to acquaint myself with these new ideas/problems. Did you say promises? What do I need to know about promises? . . . I need to explore promises. I don’t need to make promises, because I don’t believe in them.? It seems you know me better as a cognitive being than I know how you function to make me a feeling being. As long as I seek to be a being, I am OK? I needed to know that. I choose to feel more and provide you with an outlet to release all that you have been holding. So for now we are good? I give you permission to send me messages if I fail to pay attention. Please not too painful.
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Mitch Alexander

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The most sad thing on our AGE is that nobody care about who You are, people just care about how much publicity You are able to take.
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Mitch Alexander

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Thanks for the invite.  Right now I am dealing with a lot and not sure how much I can add. I have completed 5 books, 3 of which I self published 2 with a publisher. If my life situation improves I may finish at least one of the 8 books I have started.  The following is part 1 of 2 that contains my true story. 
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http://divorcecorp.com/

This is my story.

Hello this is a public response to a an abuse of power from Social Services. The issue originated with Kansas SRS and was passed on to Oklahoma DHS. Any member of the media is not only granted the rights to publish any or all of the following message, I encourage you to pass on the information to as many people as possible. Although the primary recipients of this email are public servants, if they paid any attention to the injustice they were participating in I would not have to make their illegal, immoral, and biased conduct public. 

I am going to start with the most recent activity. Last week I received a garnishment to myself against myself. I am self employed as a massage therapist. While its true I have no money beyond paying bills to respond to the DHS demand for payment what money I have payed them over two years they refuse to give to my ex wife. I would like to know what they would do with more money if they got it. Let’s go back around three years ago; I was at my office in between clients. A court courier brought me an envelope with copies of court documents from Kansas with an order to appear at a hearing with Oklahoma DHS for child support enforcement. 

My initial thoughts were I have not heard anything from Kansas SRS for three years, they just removed all my parental rights and now they are chasing me down. They felt no obligation to protect my sons from being molested by their mother, and quit taking my calls to report the abuse my sons were telling me about. I went to the location of the hearing and was asked to fill out paper work with my address employment and if I had any cause for concern for my dependant children. I filled out all the information, with a brief summary of what I knew to be true about the abuse. 

When my name was called a polite younger man brought me to a table where I explained to him the reason why I quit paying child support. I told him it had nothing to do with the the fact I knew my sons needed support. It all came down to the fact that Kansas SRS had been ignoring the sexual abuse perpetrated against my sons by their mother and SRS refused to listen or do anything to protect them. 
I felt a woman who could feed her husband rat poison, have sex with and get pregnant with a fourteen  year old student from the school she taught at, besides what she did to my sons had no business being allowed to inflict harm on minors. By all counts, she deserved to be in jail. 

I also informed him that I had been targeted by then Judge Hannalore Kitts because I am a man and was a Jehovah’s Witness. Kitts told the therapist I was required to see as part of the divorce proceedings, that I was not a suitable parent generally as a male and specifically because of my religious affiliations. I had no right to keep my sons from celebrating Christmas, according to her. I made it clear  child support had been originally assessed by Kitts based on a worksheet Andrea had filled out in my behalf and forged my signature. The precess for determining the financial responsibility is to list all current income and expenses and then a “reasonable” dollar amount is assigned. Andrea was finally asked why and how she filled out my income worksheet for me. The bottom line so she got what she wanted but the actual way she figured out what I was to pay was take my entire income for the past five years divide that by the number of months and then she assumed I would have no bills to pay. 

I don’t know ho anybody can assume another person would have no bills to pay, nor do I understand why -0- would be an acceptable amount to fill in the blank by the court. Nonetheless, I was earning $824 per month with 50% being taken off the gross for child support. I was assessed $529 a month for child support. I am not going to do the math for you. A man living alone is challenged to live on what remains. I was told it was illegal to garnish more than fifty percent and I was accruing arrears monthly. 
Every three months the judge would accost me for my lack of payment and I would bring up the fact Andrea had molested my sons. 

This young man who worked for DHS said he would go present my concerns with his supervisor and see what could be done to help me. He came back to the table with a look of concern, consternation. He was told to inform me that I could pay the $150.00 per month Kansas was asking for and shut up, or I could pay $450.00 per month. He told me he was sorry, there was nothing more he could do. He gave me a piece of paper with a couple of phone numbers where I could call and report the abuse. He asked me if I wanted to sign the paper agreeing to pay the $150 or go in front of the judge.

I took going in front of the judge because I wanted to give DHS one more chance to hear my story. I knew I met only injustice in front of Hannalore Kitts but this was Oklahoma, maybe they would listen. I will never forget the hatred I saw in the face of the DHS social worker as she approached me near the door to the Hearing room. She opened the hearing saying something would have to be done to prove to me that a man had to take care of his responsibilities and that I had no respect for that or the court. She said I was under employed and had every excuse in the book for non-payment and that my behavior was reprehensible. She petitioned the court for $450.00 a month based on my attitude alone. 

The judge told me they arranged for my ex-wife to be tied into the hearing via phone line. I was happy to be able to repeat the crimes she committed against two innocent sons, sex with a minor and poisoning me. The social worker became furious. She insisted I pay the maximum amount possible for even making such accusations. Interestingly Andrea listened to everything I said, made no rebut, and only said she thought it was time I proved to my sons I was there. She made sure from the beginning my time with my sons was limited. Toward the beginning she petitioned the court to make me have supervised visitation claiming I was mentally ill and she could not trust me. I got to see my sons three hours a month. Then later, after I moved to Oklahoma the Judge did not feel it was workable for me to drive 10 hours twice a month to see my sons for an hour and a half each time. 

Andrea said I would still have to be supervised and relinquished that task to my parents. I then was allowed to spend from Saturday mid morning to Sunday mid-afternoon once a month at my parents home where I was not to be alone with my sons for any reason. Here you have a woman who is an abuser, but seeks to make someone else pay the consequences. I accepted it because one, I got more time with the boys and two, living in Oklahoma, I would have stayed at my parents anyway. 

The judge decided to split the difference, Kansas asked for $150.00 and the DHS social worked needed to penalize me with $450.00, the maximum. I was not happy about the way the hearing turned out, not so much due to being assessed $300.00, but once again evil prevailed and the needs of children were ignored. It was much more important to punish a man for being male than to see children in a safe environment. I didn’t know what else to do but I knew I had to comply with the new order.

I allowed hate for the system to rise up in me and I had no trust that Andrea would report any monies I sent so I set up an account with DHS on-line child support payment system. I payed in money, albeit less than what I was assessed, but more than I could afford. Then I began getting harassing phone calls from DHS daily. The were threatening me with revocation of my drivers licence, jail, garnishment and I don’t remember what else. I told them I had paid into their system and they needed to get a handle on what is their responsibilities. I was told I had to prove I paid them. I told them it was their website and they needed to find it. I told them if they could not prove they had trustworthiness to carry out their responsibilities I was not going to pay into the web-site just to loose whatever amount I paid.

The informed me I was to do what I was told or pay the penalties and suffer whatever consequences they chose to impose on me. I simply repeated they own the website and they need to find where the money went and when they dis I would go back to paying. They kept calling and I finally quit answering because they were unwilling to make any effort in my behalf. Over a year later I got an official letter from DHS saying my drivers license was revoked and could face further consequences if I chose to continue to ignore court orders. 

I sent a certified response to the Tulsa DHS employees listed on their letter, to both the Kansas and Oklahoma Governors and Attorney Generals. Not one reply came back. I have been without a drivers license for over a year. At some point I was listed as deceased so when I have applied for other employment I am found unemployable. I hate doing massage for a living, but I have no other options. Maybe you would like to know how I came to be deceased? I don’t know for sure but I can tell you that while I was dealing with cancer, I passed out on the bathroom floor of my parents home and my mother thought I was dead. She and my sister transported me to the Medical Center in Manhattan, KS.

While there the medical personnel took blood samples, urine sample and an MRI on my head. They wanted to do a biopsy of the tissue on my chest where I was doing an alternative cancer treatment and I did not allow them to do so. I was fearful of bleeding. The doctor threatened to have me arrested for practicing medicine without a license because I was participating in questionable acts and defacing my body claiming it was medical. I never called it medical. I told him I mix cat piss and dirt, put it on my skin, and call it a poultice if I wished. As a human with autonomy I am allowed to do anything to by body that I deem necessary or just if I wanted to. Based on the way he treated me I did not see any reason to comply with the follow-up appointment at his office because I am not about to pay anyone to abuse me. Lord knows Social Services and the court system has done that enough. 

On the other hand, if the Manhattan hospital is responsible for reporting me as deceased ne has to beg WHY? They did to medical testing of my body fluids and done an MRI. I doubt any medical institution would list someone as deceased without probable cause. I did not return for medical follow-up. I did not pay the five thousand dollar bill for the emergency room. It’s not that I live without concern about the bill but I earned scarcely more than that for the entire year and SRS was pressed me to pay child support. 

I waited a week to prepare this reply because I was so enraged that I could loose so much and a system that could help abate injustice is the very cause of injustice. I am not of a mind to comply now than I have been in the past because social services ignore the needs of children. I have been persecuted by thousands of people, yes thousands due to the efforts I have made to protect my sons from harm. Even though the second son is not mine, biologically, I have put as much value into him and his protection as much as I have his half brother who is my biological progeny. I was abused up into my thirties because my “father “ believed my “mother” cheated on him. He was sure, or at least wanted to make himself the victim. All narcists to that to some extent. 

I know what its like to be abused and have the abuse justified by one parent who believes he has no obligations to you and the other because she believes, as a Jehovah’s Witness you are to take and be happy about any abuse that comes your way. By extension they were not that concerned about my sons being abused. They felt if there was truth in what I said then the courts and social services would tend to it and put a stop to it. When I was targeted for abuse by the “System” they thought I should cut my losses, do what I was told and be quiet about it. If what I said was true GOD would make it right or when my sons became adults they would come back to me and all would be well. IT IS NOT WELL. I AM NOT WELL. I am dealing with cancer again and I feel weaker all the time. Maybe its not a rapid decent but I am certainly not feeling better. 

How would you feel if you knew your sons had been molested? I witnessed my ex-wife fondle my son in the bathtub twice. Both boys reported their mother playing with their pee pees before the age of two. They told her “NO” and by their accounts she did not listen. She told them I was going to die and they knew she poisoned me. They came for a visit at my parents home and promptly informed me their mother told then Ian did not have to listen to anything I say because I am not his real father. They said their mother told them Ian’s father was a teenager and that Ian would never know who he is. I don’t know about anyone else but that is reprehensible. I purposely never talked to the boys about Ian not being a biological son because when the boys were less than three, I told Ian I would be his father as long as he wanted me to.

Now you maybe wondering why I would say that to a child less than two. His older brother Tambour had made the remark that I was not Ian’s real dad, because his mother told him so. I am was visibly upset and toddled over and swatted his brother with a toy. Thankfully it did not engage his body. I told Tambour at the time that what he said was unkind and asked him if he loved his brother. He said he did and I noted that he hurt his brothers feelings. Tambour went over hugged Ian and said he was sorry. I am crying as I type this. It hurts so bad that a mother could cause damage to two little boys, both of whom grew inside her body. At that time we three, Tambour, Ian and I agreed to never make an issue of whom Ian is and that I would be Ian’s father for as long as he wanted me to. He climbed up into my lap and wrapped his little arms around my neck and Tambour tried to hug Ian’s leg, which Ian disallowed. 

I am not going into every story. One, I feel like I am drowning in sadness and tears and two, you wont listen anyway. By and large our society does not care about child abuse. The ignore it. It’s not that it does not happen but there is not support to stop it or support the healing of those who experienced it. No matter how many times or how many people I have told my truth (the truth) to, I generally am blamed. I am blamed for not being able to put an end to it, blamed for being a weak man with emotions, blamed for wasting their time with my trivialities, blamed for caring, and blamed as if I were the perpetrator, which also goes along with “lying” about a woman. 

You see, in our society women are not abusers. Women are free moral agents who have the right to cause harm to their children, their husband, or walk away from their family and they are praised because they have exercised the feminine principle to become whatever their heart (if they use it) desires. We hear about females who have killed members of their family, burned their children, had sex with minors, pilfered money from an employer, manipulated and or financially destroyed co-workers. These women are venerated or feared but little is done to curb these behaviors. If women are considered the best of society then where do we go from here?

I believe that women are worthy to be treated with respect and decency, but I also believe children, African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, homosexuals, and not least the average male are worthy to be treated with respect and decency. In my perception the only group that cannot count on being protected are males. There are no thoughts about political correctness concerning male bashing. Popular entertainment thrives on berating the male gender, unless one is talking about a gay male then we cannot bash them. Again, I don’t believe in bashing anyone stereotypically. 

I have told my story to others in person, through emails, on posts using facebook and google+ and generally I am the one who receives a tongue lashing. I am told I have no right to share such horrible scenarios that I am mentally ill, that I need help, that I am delusional that I am rabble rouser, a liar, a pervert, socially blemished. It’s amazing a woman can to horrible things and everyone, even those who don’t know her, have to come to her rescue because a terrible man has talked badly about her. 

It is one thing to be ignored, and I have been by the likes of Oprah The Talk, Dr. Phil, Bill Gates, CBS News, Rock Center, affiliates of PBS, CBS, NBC and ABC as well as countless newspapers. It is quite another to be targeted by people who need to silence you for telling the truth. I have had many clients on my massage table who are lawyers, by and large they did not take my story seriously or are gay and the thought of going against the State or Social Services is way too much for them to fathom even when they clearly tell me I have a legal case. 

One lawyer in particular was interested in my writing and I willing shared my completed books with him. I wrote a novel and then I wrote my true story about dealing with cancer, Kansas Social Services, Judge Hannalore Kitts, lawyers and doctors concerning my health conditions, and the injustices from those I once called family and Jehovah’s Witnesses. All of those aspects of personal history were ideas, traumas, and abuse that played a role in my acquiring cancer. Not the least of which, was being poisoned. This lawyer was sure that no Judge, doctor or family member would have been so unjust to me. One thing I cant understand is how he felt confident enough in my perceptions to keep coming back for massage, even asking my thoughts on two of his cases, but when the cancer symptoms returned he formed an alliance with a physician to convince me I was delusional. 

He needed me to accept all the truths I had experienced and wrote about never happened He convinced me to see a doctor, saying he would pay for the visit and any testing that needed to be done, he called the doctor and then all I had to do was confirm the appointment and show up. The doctor ignored all my symptoms, prescribed an anti depressant that had the exact side effects of the symptoms I was already suffering and pushed me to seek psychological help because I did not have cancer. Yes the symptoms I was having, and still have, are indicative of cancer, the very same ones my publisher said his wife suffered before she died from cancer, but since this lawyer could not believe I could have experienced all the abuses, cancer too must have been a figment of my imagination.  

I told the doctor I had been to other physicians who diagnosed anti-depressants that did not work and explained that when a person suffers situational depression drugs do not work they only cause other problems in the body and mind. He agreed that was true and insisted I take them. I had to promise to take the meds and call someone if I felt suicidal. I was suicidal. I had just completed my book, CanSir: A Backward Path, where so called family posted on Amazon that it was all lies. These are people that  I had not spoken with for quite some time and for all intents and purposes were not present for ninety percent of the events I described and had no reference from which they were speaking. That is to say nothing of the fact that rehashing the events to write the book were tremendously grievous.  

I began the pill regimen as prescribed, a small dose the first week, a higher one the second, and double that the third. My best friend told me after the first week eh could see a negative change in me and advised me to get off the meds. I continued until my body gave me enough messages to know I was in trouble. Before the first week was up the amount of fecal waste increased, and I began having severe abdominal pain as I spewed the contents of my colon into the toilet. I quit the pills when, as I sat there, an incredible pain came across my low back and the remnant that floated in the water looked like road tar. One woman I spoke to told me that was what the last bowel movement her mother had before she died. 

You may wonder what the doctor and lawyer have to do with what Social Services and courts of Kansas and Oklahoma have to do with each other. I will tell you People trust that the courts and Social Services do not target men for abuse and that those are places where we find justice. I am here to tell you there is NO JUSTICE. Judges and Social Workers feel they can do anything they wish to anyone they wish to show others (Specifically men) who has the power and who is in control. It reminds me of the joke that when around a few years ago about GOD the difference between HE and Bill Gates. GOD knows HE’s not Bill Gates. Judges and Social Services act like they are gods but they do not display any of GOD’s attributes , of Love, Wisdom,  Justice, (and Power). The power displayed is not tempered by the positive qualities found with the true GOD. The power is only used to harm. 

I believe it is possible to recover from cancer, but with the stress I have at this time I am not sure I will. I desire everyone to know that if I am not successful in my fight against cancer you all bear a responsibility because you are informed and have done nothing. HOWEVER, Kansas SRS and Judge Hannalore Kitts have the added judgement that they created this criminal scene in the first place and have stolen Tambour and Ian’s childhood from them and denied them and myself from having a meaningful relationship because they needed to crucify a man for his gender, not because he was guilty of any wrong doing. 

If you have read this far and have any leads for a lawyer who has the conviction or fortitude to file a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Kansas and Oklahoma for there dereliction of duty and purposeful gender bias, send them my way. I am also looking to file a law suit against the lawyer and the doctor who conspired to convince me I was delusional and damaged my health further. 
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Mitch Alexander

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Mitch Alexander

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I had a guy communicate with me last night on my facebook page. He came to me originally as a client and we became more of friends. He has been aware of my challenges. Of course he is concerned about my health since getting help from me on his healing journey is somewhat dependent my being available.

I am not on a pitty pot. I chose to share this edited conversation so others might think about the importance of supporting the truth others share and making efforts to protect children:

(Question)
Does your family know about the cancer?

They have the opportunity to know whether they do or not, I can’t say. Even if they know I highly doubt they care. It has always been more important for them to abuse me for accusing my ex of the things she actually did. No effort has ever been made in behalf of my sons. I don’t spend a lot of time talking about my situation to anybody. I have learned from the past that nobody really cares about the truth or don’t believe me. Most people have attacked me for my choice to use a natural treatment. As if I don’t have a right to make an informed decision about my own health. A doctor even threatened to have me arrested for practicing medicine without a license.

(Comment)
I understand. You are entitled to your privacy. I believe you. I just wish there was something I could do to help you. 

Thanks. I am not fighting for privacy. I am just clueless about my chances of livability. Before when I was sick I knew in time I would be fine. I ask myself internal questions all the time. I get answers on a lot of topics, but on whether I am going to beat this, nothing definitive. I don't even know what to think. I have trouble thinking often. More than any other time in my life it is ALL in GODS hands. Some days I wish death would come to be done with the emotional suffering and other days or moments I would like to see a life that is worth living BEFORE I eventually die.  

Its hard not to be resentful about the difficultly of the past decade when I could have died and been happy with that end before I ever moved back to Oklahoma. Back in Junction City Kansas There was one morning I came home from work and lay down and a sense of peace overtook me and my mind said at last this will be the last time I have to fall asleep on this God forsaken planet. BUT I felt GOD was tapping me on the shoulder telling me to give my mother one more chance. I told GOD if I did, I had to know it would be worth my while I did not want to continue on the way things were.

I finally got up and applied the black salve and felt the sensation of my blood boiling. Something I never had and have not since experienced. I had a strong reaction the that application and a large amount of cancer came to the surface.

(Question)
Do you think you'll give your mother another chance?

I gave her another chance when I applied that salve that Friday morning and what a waste that was. 

That was a Friday morning. Sunday afternoon my phone began ringing and I drug myself off the sofa and answered it. I heard my mother saying "You’re alive, I knew you would be dead, I dreaded all weekend to call because I just felt you were done.”

(Question)
I wonder if God wants your Mother to say something to you...or vice versa.

If I was willing to talk to her I would let her have it.

I asked her why she called if she felt I was dead and she said she thought she better make sure I didn't answer so that my body could be removed from my apartment before I began to stink too bad and she didn't know how to get a hold of my landlord.

(Question)
Wow.  Is there something in the letting her have it that God wants her to hear?  Or, do you think there's something you need to hear from her?

All that is in the past anyway. That was several years ago. It had to be at least 8 years ago.

(Comment)
I see.

She hasn’t learned anything of use. She is still acting the way she always has toward me. I am to give up my thoughts and feelings to make things easy for her. I wont see or speak to her again

At the time I explained what happened and how I actually felt like GOD was tapping me on the shoulder and how I argued with HIM and told HIM to just leave me alone and let me die. I didn't owe HIM anything and I could choose when I had enough. I told her NOT to fail me again. It only took a week for me to realize she was failed me AGIAN.

I confronted her later and she told me that if I chose to be unhappy then everyone would have been better off had I just died. She told me she had wished she would have just kept her mouth shut and not ASKED me to keep trying to survive.

It surprised me at the time when I gave up how quickly I deteriorated. in one months time I felt horrible and I really do believe still that I would have died if I had not gotten up and applied the salve.

Interestingly my mother said the same thing.

(Comment)
One thing you two can agree on

I haven’t gained anything. BUT later she said she was no longer SURE IF I had cancer because my father insisted I was never sick. Funny thing is a few weeks ago I talked to my brother and he insisted that I could never prove ANY of the things I told people. I assured him that I gave my parents the name and phone number of the doctor that told me I had been poisoned.

Of course they never told him that. They said I made that story up and had no proof. I kept my mother on the loop with my life. I had told her that I was always sick and that I went to my PCP and he told me I had lost close to 40 lbs in three months and was sending me to a specialist
That doc thought I had cancer from the start but when they send a scope down my throat into my organs they didn't see anything. When I went back for the follow up is when he told me I had ingested a pesticide.

(Question)
How did you get the pesticide?

She fed me rat poison.
I think now the reason the scope found nothing was because the cancer proved to be in my brain and testicles. Twice I found rat poison on the counter when she was making supper. I told her it was not safe to have the poison out while she was making supper and she told me to go into the living room sit down and shut up and she would let me know when I could come in to eat. She even told me that WHEN I died nobody would be the wiser. EVEN IF they did an autopsy ALL they would find is a pesticide and since I had worked on farms and lived in a rural area nobody would think anything. I thought she was just being hateful. I didn't think at the time she was trying to get rid of me. Of course it all fits NOW. 

I even found in a book that pesticides once in the body are stored in the brain and reproductive organs. I caught her fondling my son in the bath tub and once we where watching a nightime news program where a teacher was being sent to jail for having sex with a student she asked me what I would do IF something like that happened to her what would I do I told her no questions asked I would turn her in because there is NEVER an excuse for and adult to sexually abuse a minor.

After the divorce she sent the boys for visitation and informed them that Ian did not have to listen to anything I said because I was not his real father and added that Ians father was a teenager and that I an would probably never know who his real father was AND my so called family has been abusing me for the accusations against her while nothing has ever been done to her. 

I have to stop. My body is really starting to hurt all over and my stomach is burning

(Comment)
Of course, Mitch.

Thanks its shocking to relive all that abuse and have NO support from anyone to stop the abuse to my sons. 

(Comment)
It must hurt to carry this. 

Obviously, its killing me.  
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Mitch Alexander

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Occupation
I write, speak, and support healing through energy psychology. I work with people over the phone and in person.
Basic Information
Gender
Male
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A relationship, Networking
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Single
Other names
Michael Jamison, Mitch Jamison
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Tagline
Author. = I.Authored.Mitch@gmail.com
Introduction
This is my professional profile. I have children's books and adult fiction in the works. I write about topics that matter to me. It is important to me to support the well being of all people. I have a special interest in helping to validate children and men.

I have endured a great amount of injustice and abuse. I write about these subjects in short essays and also in my fiction.

My writings can be found on divinecaroline.com and on growingbolder.com

I have done emotional healing work for over a decade. I am wrapping up a career as a massage therapist January of 2012. For me everything relates to how we deal with emotions.

Lately I tell people that we do not have to like our feelings but we have to honor them and own them. Feelings are messages from our soul. It is up us to listen and to make sense of what those senses are telling us. GOD had the wisdom to give both men and women feelings and thoughts to help guide us through our life journey. Most of us spend more time judging thoughts and feelings than evaluating how those messages bring us closer to the Creator.
Bragging rights
I survived cancer, poisoning, heart attacks, mini strokes, and meningitis. Most importantly I survived my childhood.
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Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
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Boulder, CO - Berthoud, CO - Longmont, CO - Pamona, KS - Quinter, KS - Oakley, KS - Gorham, KS - Clay Center, KS - Junction City, KS - Catoosa, OK - Tulsa, OK - Claremore, OK
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reviewed 6 months ago
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