Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Joshua “Tyger” Ward
A fresh perspective from an ancient soul.
A fresh perspective from an ancient soul.

Joshua's posts

I hate to do this, but does anyone have $30 they could send me? Was wrong about the cash I had on hand and I'm short for my pain and blood pressure meds this month. I'm going in for a thyroid biopsy tomorrow and I can't afford to not have my meds...I'm scared of the procedure as it is (and what the results will be), and I don't want to think how high my blood pressure will be tomorrow if I can't get these filled today. Thank you if anyone can help. 

I'm tired of these vivid, detailed nightmares. I did not need to know how it would feel to go crazy and cause the meltdown of a nuclear reactor. Nor did I need to be a single father nursing student with a heroin addiction who exchanged his own blood for product and accidentally taught his four year old daughter to draw her own blood by example because she genuinely thought that was how we paid for food and she was hungry... I came out of a drug haze to find she'd bled to death and then I promptly committed suicide by overdose.

The worst part is that it kept going. I was a single father in every version of the life, always high on something (in the case of the nuclear reactor I was high on sleep deprivation and was a serious workaholic), and in each version I always managed to get my daughter killed before I either accidentally or on purpose killed myself. Then the cycle would start over again with no memory of the previous life and...

Several nights ago I had an equally vivid dream about Nyxie dying in some sort of explosion at a mall, and the first six to twelve months of the aftermath of having lost my best friend. I messaged her the moment I woke up because it was so vivid and I needed to know she was ok.

But seriously, what's with these sudden vivid nightmares? They feel so damned real. I'm starting to worry I'm experiencing alternate dimensions/lives. I figure it has to be stress...

Then again, it started after my TIE, a little over a week ago. I'm starting to wonder if something small is screwed up in my brain from the event and it's causing me to have nightmares.

Either way, I'm tired of waking up with my heart pounding, and going right back into whatever dream it was if I go back to sleep without waking up all the way first.


My mother-in-law's heart is in the right place, but this good idea just didn't work.

She bought me a "standing stool" (big, metal, tripod stool on wheels with a padded bicycle seat to sit on). It was designed to rest at a height so my body would basically be standing but it wouldn't stress my back because I could rest my weight on it regularly.

I asked her what the weight limit on it was when she was putting it together, and she didn't know. I decided to try it anyway. So I tried it for the first real time tonight (I tried it without resting my weight on it last night to adjust the height).

I was exhausted and couldn't hold myself standing. So I gently lowered onto the stool that I'd put in place behind me. It held...for all of about four seconds.

I felt the third leg begin to give out and realized (in that way that happens in slow motion when you fall) that there was no way I could get my weight shifted to the point I could stand up before it was too late.

I very vividly remember thinking the words "oh. And here I go..." as I fell. And it's so surreal that I've almost envisioned the memory as a single panel comic with a thought bubble.

I landed on one of the metal legs, full weight (approximately 447lbs + momentum) on my left hip/ass cheek, and slammed the left back area of my head into the kitchen credenza. Then I just kind of laid there, stunned, trying to correlate thoughts of how to get up with what I'd need to do once I was up - like preparing ice packs.

Nyx was up, thankfully, and helped me get the mangled piece of metal out of the way so I could haul myself up on the kitchen island. I got my ice packs and limped my way back to the bedroom.

Nothing makes a heavy person feel worse than when they smash something by literally sitting on it gently. Knowing the thing was probably rated for a quarter of my weight doesn't really help. So now I feel gross and huge, and my head and ass are both throbbing like someone attacked me with a baseball bat.

So yeah, for future reference, if anyone ever wants to buy me something I'm meant to sit on...make sure it's rated up to 500lbs.

Post has attachment
To The Third Power - Chapter 16: Brainstorm, is up!

We know what doesn't work - now let's come up with something that does. Is there any way to lay a trap for something the size of a mountain?

Excerpt Below:

“So, if we were to set a trap,” Spike said, very quietly. “We should do it there. Probably near the alcove, since that's where he attacked before.”

“A TRAP?!” Lainie stared at Spike incredulously. “You're suggesting we set a trap for a dragon half the size of a mountain?”

Spike glared. “Who will, if we don't?! We're the only ones who know what's going on. This isn't like Atlantis. The entire populace has no clue that there's a fucking RIP in dimensions, and that some massive, homicidal dragon is raring to come ripping through and eat the entire damned world!”

“And we can't tell anyone... Even with our powers – what would that prove? They'd say that Lainie's a magician, that I'm using special effects or something...and Spike couldn't even demonstrate hers.” Karyn's brow was furrowed and she finally opened her eyes.

What are they going to do? Is there actually a way to stop Kerboros' invasion of our dimension? Become a Patron to find out! Just $1 a month gets you access to this chapter and more free, plus other exclusive stuff!

Post has attachment
True story.

Post has attachment

I recently found this video taken in 2012, of our late "fuzzy little son," Zigacious Amadeus Stein - "Zig" or "Ziggy" for short.

He passed away of (we believe) cancer on December 15th, 2013. To see pictures of him and read the story of his last day with us, click the link below:

To read a happier story about him, click here:

To share your own stories of pets that have passed on, or to read other people's, please like the FB page linked here:

To meet our current cat, Prince James Tumblefluff Ward the First, check out his FB page, or go to the Tumblefluff playlist here on YouTube.

Post has attachment

So many of the pictures we post are of him sleeping that we figured it's about time his fans got to see him doing something a little more active. So here's my gorgeous wife, dangling a string from a backscratcher for him to play with. :)

Like James? Follow his FB page for more pics and videos!

Want to send the Puff a present or letter? We'll read anything we get on camera! Send to:

Prince James Tumblefluff Ward the First
C/O Joshua & Lona Ward
1512 E Santa Clara Ave
Santa Ana, CA 92705

Post has attachment
For more of my puff, Like his FB fan page: 

Post has attachment
Last night I slept on Daddy's shirt, on top of a unicorn hoof. It was magical.

And comfy!

Like my page for more pics of me, my cousins, and other cute kitty stuffs!

Post has attachment
Please share this if you don't mind. Our car is vital and we need all the help we can get.
Wait while more posts are being loaded