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“What . . . is the best way to handle our anger? Experts offer two suggestions. [1] First, wait. You can bring down the level of physiological arousal of anger by waiting. "It is true of the body as of arrows," noted Carol Tavris (1982), "what goes up must come down. Any emotional arousal will simmer down if you just wait long enough." [2] Second, deal with anger in a way that involves neither being chronically angry over every little annoyance, nor sulking and rehearsing your grievances. Ruminating inwardly about the causes of your anger serves only to increase it (Rusting & Nolen-Hoeksema, 1998). Calm yourself by exercising . . . or talking it through with a friend.

“Anger does communicate strength and competence (Tiedens, 2001). It can benefit a relationship when it expresses a grievance in ways that promote reconciliation rather than retaliation. Controlled expressions of anger are more adaptive than either hostile outbursts or pent-up angry feelings. When James Averill (1983) asked people to recall or keep careful records of their experiences with anger, they often recalled reacting assertively rather than hurtfully. Their anger frequently led them to talk things over with the offender, thereby lessening the aggravation. Civility means not only keeping silent about trivial irritations but also communicating important ones clearly and assertively. A nonaccusing statement of feeling—perhaps letting one's housemate know that "I get irritated when the dirty dishes are left for me to clean up"—can help resolve the conflicts that cause anger.

“What if someone else's behavior really hurts you? Research commends the age-old response of forgiveness. Without letting the offender off the hook or inviting further harm, forgiveness releases anger and calms the body. To explore the bodily effects of forgiveness, Charlotte Witvliet and her co-researchers (2001) invited college students to recall an incident where someone had hurt them. As the students mentally rehearsed forgiveness, their negative feelings—and their perspiration, blood pressure, heart rate, and facial tension—all were lower than when they rehearsed their grudges.”

Source: ‘Psychology’ (9th Edition) by David G. Myers, p. 519 (Worth Publishers)
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NEW POST Check out this review of the productivity issue of Quest Jr magazine. Quest Jr is a digital magazine that combines Islamic content along with articles about language, arts, science, nature and technology from around the world.
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Embrace Your Imperfections

“We all have quirks and imperfections; they are nothing to be ashamed of or depressed about. You will never attain perfection because only Allah (Glorified & Exalted is He) is perfect. Embrace that idea, because it is a sign of Allah's mercy that He created you the way He did. As long as your imperfections are not negative, harmful, or disobedient to Allah, be satisfied with them. Laugh at them.”

Source: ‘The Path to Self-Fulfilment’ by Sakina Hirschfelder, p.32 (IIPH)
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Be Active :)
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If you have sincere intentions & you’re working hard, don’t worry about the outcome. Leave that to Allah :)
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Keep Yourself Challenged

Life without challenge is a meaningless life, a life of total boredom. We often hear someone saying: “I'm bored to death.” It is an expression that is equally common among children, teenagers and adults. We all need some excitement in our lives. Often, we wrongly get this excitement through momentary pleasures like television series, video games or shopping expeditions... but what follows is usually more boredom.

However, there are ways to truly eliminate boredom from our lives. We can do this by learning new skills, pushing our limits further, acquiring new knowledge, and feeling that we contribute something meaningful to our surroundings. We need to feel useful to ourselves, our families and our society. We need to fulfil our mission on earth. That's why our internal instincts will not be satisfied with less than continuous achievements. These achievements do not need to be big, but they have to be ongoing and cumulative. They need to be meaningful, at least to us. They need to be part of our lifelong quest to develop our potential and seek the pleasure of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He).

This is why a very important part of defining your goals is to keep yourself constantly challenged. If your objectives are too easy to reach, you will get bored after a while and become dissatisfied. As soon as you reach your goals, you might lose interest in them, feel unmotivated and lose momentum. On the other hand, if your challenges are well suited to your abilities, and if you are gradually meeting your goals, you will be self-fulfilled and satisfied. Constantly meeting your short-term goals gives you the required stamina and driving force to continue your pursuit of bigger and higher goals. It gives you the excitement and delight that is necessary to stimulate your willpower and keep you going.

Source: ‘The True Secret’ by Dr. Amira Ayad (pp.94-95)
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True, the more you challenge your self the more you are productive, usually yourself pushed the unproductive side to be idle and interest the meaningless things, thanks for sharing this.
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Study Tips:

(1) Review your notes from class as soon as possible; this way the information learnt is still fresh in your head.

(2) Read the class notes or the textbook right beforehand, so you know what to expect and so that you can ask your professor any questions that you may have.

(3) Write down summary notes with key definitions highlighted; these will be handy if you don’t have time to read your full set of notes.

(4) Eat high-energy foods and engage in quick exercises to keep your brain and body stimulated during study time.

(5) Listen to your body! If you find yourself so tired that you can barely think straight, then taking a short nap will refresh your mind and brain, so that you can wake up and get back on track effectively.

Source: ‘Surviving University as a Mother’ by Sumaira Zaheer (link: http://proms.ly/1OZs8wg)
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Controlling One’s Initial Reaction is the Real Test of Patience

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Verily, patience is at the first stroke of a calamity." [Sahih Bukhari]
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The Blessing of Pain
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The student who lives the life of comfort and repose and who is not stung by hardships, or who has never been afflicted with calamity, will be an unproductive, lazy, and lethargic person.
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[Reflect upon] the lives of the early believers, who lived during the period of revelation and who took part in the most important religious revolution that mankind has ever seen. Indeed, they had greater faith, nobler hearts, more truthful tongues, and deeper knowledge than those that came after them: they had all of these because they lived through pain and suffering, both of which are necessary concomitants to great revolutions. They felt the pains of hunger, of poverty, of rejection, of abuse, of banishment from home and country, of abandonment of all pleasures, of the pains of wounds, and of death and torture. They were in truth chosen ones, the elite of mankind. They were models of purity, nobleness, and sacrifice.
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In the history of the world there are those that have produced their greatest works due to the pain and the suffering that they experienced. Al-Mutanabbi, when afflicted with a severe fever, wrote some of his best poetry. An-Nu`maan ibn Mundhir threatened An-Naabighah with death, and that is when the latter produced some of his best poetry.
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In fact there are many examples of those that prospered and achieved as a result of the suffering they experienced.

Therefore, do not become excessively anxious when you think of pain, and do not fear suffering. It might well be that through pain and suffering you will become stronger.

Source: ‘Don’t Be Sad’ by ‘Aaidh Al-Qarni, pp. 80-81 (IIPH)
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NEW POST Are you a student and a mother? Or a mother looking to go back to education? Click here to find out Sumaira Zaheer's top tips on how to balance and succeed in these two demanding roles.
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 what the mom you are :))
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The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Frequently remember the destroyer of pleasures,” meaning death. [At-Tirmidhi]

If you are spending a lot of time trying to move on from someone, then remembering death will make you realize the value of time. Death puts into perspective how much time you are wasting. As morbid as it sounds, whenever a situation becomes very dramatic or intense, I remind myself that one day we are all going to die.

(From the article, “How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments”: http://proms.ly/23ooK5H)
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Some people avoid big dreams so that they will not get frustrated if they fail to achieve them. A fifty-year-old woman once advised her friend to pursue a college degree in teaching, since her friend loved working with young children.

"Do you know what age I will be when I get my degree?" her friend exclaimed.

"Exactly the same age you would be if you didn't get it," the lady replied.

Taking on a new challenge, switching careers, or following a new path can be done at any time in life. As the saying goes, better late than never.

Source: ‘The True Secret’ by Dr. Amira Ayad (p.97)
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Productive Muslim - Ever wondered if Islam taught us productivity? Join us, discuss with us, share this site with others, let us all work towards a productive Ummah!