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NewsThump
1,267 followers -
Satirical news and current affairs from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to literally believe anything we write, you idiot.
Satirical news and current affairs from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to literally believe anything we write, you idiot.

1,267 followers
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Comedy Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that the new Brexit Secretary will be a bloke called Steve.
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New Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay has been inaugurated into his new role at the Department for Exiting the EU after swallowing a massive goblet of shit, as is customary for those occupying his office.
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Dominic Raab is NOT a sex robot that has broken his programming, according to reports this afternoon.
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The DWP have told loveable bear Pudsey that he should go and find work instead of receiving handouts, on account of the fact he is not fully blind.
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Steven Spielberg has announced that a new Indiana Jones film will be about the search for a Brexit deal which will make everyone better off.
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In the midst of high tensions surrounding Brexit, the country was provided with some light relief when a man who failed to get a failed to get a basic departure agreement after 18 months told them they could sign a comprehensive trade deal in less than 3.
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After a number of ministerial resignations following the release of the Brexit deal, the House of Commons has voted unanimously to downgrade Theresa May's cabinet, to a more suitably termed ‘chest of drawers’.
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Theresa May, the Prime Minister for at least the next hour or so, will begin her campaign to sell the draft Brexit withdrawal deal to the public by printing ‘The Brexit withdrawal agreement is brilliant’ on the side of a big red bus.
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The Brexit referendum has succeeded in achieving its primary aim of settling the internal squabbles of the Tory party, the ham-faced former party leader has confirmed.
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The removal of the Prime Minister should not be described as a coup, according to the man acting quiet coup-ey this afternoon.
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