Hooman Hedayati is a rocket scientist at NASA where
he supervises top secret government space projects. Hooman Hedayati
is also a professor of economics and a fellow at UT Austin where he
heads departments of Biology, Geology, Anthropology, Apology and all the
other departments that end with “ology.” He is on the boards of
directors of multiple multinational companies. In his spare time, Hooman
advises world leaders such as George W. and Tony Blair on world affairs
and foreign policy. Well, that’s what his mom thinks.
reality, Hooman Hedayati works for a plasma television manufacturer as a
plasma donor. Prior to that, Hedayati worked at a sperm bank as a sperm
donor. He was subsequently terminated after numerous complaints from
customers about the low quality of the sperm. Many of the infants were
returned for a refund.
Hedayati is currently interviewing with a
start-up pharmaceutical company in India for a position as junior
suppository testing specialist. A master's degree in political science
from the University of Bora-Bora helped land Hedayati a career at a
branch of a prestigious Fortune 500 firm called McDonald’s.
Hedayati, a militant nudist Buddhist and according to the Playgirl
magazine "the sexiest Middle Eastern man alive since Yasser Arafat," has
devoted his entire life to organizing support groups for men with
hideous circumcisions. He also heads a nonprofit organization called,
“Middle Eastern men for better body hair removal products.” Hooman has
traveled the world looking for the answer to the most fundamental
question asked by every man: where the heck is the remote control?