the point is that any time you are using your communication to harm someone else, in any way, directly or indirectly, you're being violent. I call this intellectual violence. As you probably know, it's the intent which defines whether an act is violent, not the outcome. Debate, where the intent is to make someone else's ideas/opinions less important, is harmful, and violent, and contrary to creative, productive, problem solving. It is, at best, used for emergency situations, where someone who has experienced a seriously dangerous and immediate (impending doom!) situation before or something similar enough, that they are highly confident that their ideas are absolutely more valuable than everyone else's, and they, like Sherlock in the new BBC/PBS series, will use aggressive/violent communication to get less-successful-thinkers to shut up and let him think. :-) But for any long term, social problem violence is very harmful, and leads to regression, and a huge waste of everyone's resources.
For an example, take a look at Wikipedia. When there is conflict, and one person tries to delete (censorship is a violent act) another person's honest information on a topic, we all lose, because that information is important to the big picture of how a topic is seen by diverse individuals, giving us a way to triangulate the core truths in a topic more easily. Certainly healthy criticism (feedback) is good, because it is offering new information, but only as long as the review offered is based on explaining what one person is looking for and how well the offering meets those needs. (And then the person making the original offer can decide if the critique is relevant to their own goals of what they want to offer, because what I want to offer and what you want to receive is often not the same thing, but when it is, then criticism is crucial for me to do my best work.)
So yeah, for truly high quality problem solving and understanding of the big picture, we really do need to value all different opinions on what people need, how well what they are being offered is meeting those needs, and what ideas they have to better meet their needs. Debate doesn't collect that data, and instead hides much of it...