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Dani Bjorklund
13 followers -
I'm just Dani
I'm just Dani

13 followers
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Good morning from the Michigan Renaissance Festival.
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I've been thinking about ending it all an awful lot lately.

I'm a huge burden on those few I still have in my life. I can't get a job because no one will hire me because I'm trans so I can't support myself.

Everyone's life I touch I ruin. Why am I even here?
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I've been having trouble lately. Of that there is no secret. What I have been doing to try and keep my mind away from the bad stuff is wearable art.
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12/08/2016
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So my life has become a cycle of wishing I had someone to do things with and then hearing about how everyone did things without me..

I need to find a bus to walk in front of.
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Breaking news!: I'm hella gay!

Who knew?
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even though I was nervous I kept my cool and made it through my phone interview.

Here's hoping that the hard times are coming to a close. Only time will tell.
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Even though I had a rough day and didn't get the news I was hoping for at my Dr's appointment I can look in the mirror and say, "I have really pretty eyes."

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I find it interesting that in a matter of minutes I can go from feeling great and taking over a hundred selfies - I checked it was like 106 - to feeling like total crap.

I've been thinking about going to a few of the local festivals this summer I'm even entertaining the idea of working them again. I do miss that part of my life and really wish I could get back into vending and being on the road a bit.

So back to my thoughts of attending. I decided as a bit of self therapy albeit in a potentially dangerous way because what if I feel ugly? Then I would have caused more harm to my sometimes fragile psyche.

Being reckless as I can sometimes be I went ahead and got myself all prettied up and tried on some clothes. I felt way more awesome than I looked. I danced about on cloud nine all happy for the afternoon taking selfies like Oprah giving away cars on TV. I was feeling good.

I had to run some errands and I can't drive wearing a corset. So I changed into some regular clothes and proceeded to do that which needed to be done as dull as it was.

That's when it hit me.

I caught a side glance of my reflection and like a team of Navy Seals storming a compound I was hit with such a disgusted feeling over my appearance I wanted to throw up.

Dealing with dysphoria over my body isn't anything new. I've experienced it many ways and intensities since before I could identify it but today was extra shitty. There really is no other way to say it; it was shitty.

I've been having a rough go at things for the past month and I really need to get a handle on it because this just can't continue. I'll go insane if I don't do something to combat how disgustingly isolated I have let myself be. I need to surround myself with people who like me and who I like in return. I believe those are called friends and I desperately need some. I also need to be distracted so my self critical eye can't focus inward and just maybe I also need to loosen up a bit and have some fun.
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I haven't worn this corset in years. Why? Because I'm a tubby bitch and it's a little small on me.

Well this morning I decided I'd give it a go.. It does indeed fit me. It's quite comfortable so that tells me it's not too small... yet. Of course I probably should lay off the sammiches if i wish it to continue to fit.

The best thing about it though is how it changes my measurements. In the corset I have a 38" waist and 50" hips which is pretty awesome considering.
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Festival season is coming up really soon. Also I haven't worn a corset for a few months so I thought it would be best to dig out some and get some new outfits put together.

The bad news I have put on some weight in places I'm not happy about but the good news is my corsets still fit!

Plus boobies!!!
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6/27/16
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