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Carlos Xuma
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Attended School of Hard Knocks
Lives in San Mateo, CA
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Carlos Xuma

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This is great stuff. Living up in San Francisco - the center of this kind of stuff - it's like eating a bon-bon soaked in ecstasy. I've dated one form or another of these girls before, and you're DEAD ON. Please post the next episode fast... I'd donate on kickstarter to get more...

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No disrespect to the video, but you can't make any buying (or most evaluative) decisions based on camera audio in a youtube vid, guys. Just sayin'. And - after 30 odd years of beating on tone - most of the things I (and probably you) discriminate in audio as musicians are truly minor.

Both of these units are awesome. Log out of youtube, go down to a music store and try one out for yourself and use your ears in the real world. Only that will tell the Truth...

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1 is Adam Ant... Goody Two Shoes. 2. Dunno. 3. Bow wow wow - I want Candy (?)

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How to Pick up Women

Ever wonder why men who seem like jerks pull women like there’s no tomorrow? Of course, you do. I’d say nearly every man on this planet has at one time in his life seen a girl with a guy and wonder WTF?  Here are some things you need to know on how to pick up women.

What does he have that I don’t?

Why are women attracted to men who seem like jerks. These women will even complain to their friends, or even you, that these jerks treat them bad. So, why do they stick around?

Jerks actually emote the traits and characteristics of a man oozing self-confidence without even realizing they are doing so.

If you want to attract women like the jerks do, without resorting to being a jerk, check out these tips:
How to pick up women Tips:

1. Dump women who cause you any grief or hurt your self-esteem in any way. If someone you are dating is not treating you with respect then walk away. Don’t be afraid to leave a relationship that does anything except build your self-confidence. There are a lot of fish in the sea.

2. Learn to care less what anyone else thinks about you. Don’t seek or desire anyone else’s approval. Ever. You need to find your confidence from inside. Looking for external approval of yourself is one way to lose any self-esteem you might have in an instance.

3. Don’t place women on pedestals or suck up to them. Instead, learn how to gently tease a woman and give her a hard time without really hurting her feelings. Walk that fine line between liking a woman and not adoring her.

4. Don’t ever let anyone – especially women you date – disrespect you in any way. Walk away or firmly stand up for yourself. Don’t hang out with people who don’t treat you with the respect you deserve. This means guy friends, as well.

5. Be in touch with your emotions enough that you can get angry and let others see it without losing your temper and acting irrationally. Just be comfortable expressing your emotions in a healthy way that doesn’t hurt anyone else.

Jerks have these qualities, but what will set you apart from the jerks is reining in some of the behaviors. Don’t be too extreme. Don’t be too abrasive or self-centered. Find that middle ground.

One last thought on the jerk – you could emulate some of those qualities, but to be a true man, avoid these negative jerk traits at all costs:

    Unnecessary and/or over-the-top anger, which shows you are lacking self-discipline.
    Insulting or disrespectful behavior to anyone.
    Any type of abusive behavior
    Acting overly arrogant. Big turn off.
    Hurting someone emotionally on purpose.

If you can emulate the positive qualities of a jerk and leave the negative ones behind, you’ll be able to find that sweet middle ground. When you do, you will be able to attract more women than any jerk or supplicating nice guy out there. You’ve found the key. These are some tips on how to pick up women.
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How to Talk to Girls

If you want to meet women and eventually have sex with them, you are going to need to learn how to talk to girls.

You see, there is a fine line between telling a woman enough about yourself to inspire her trust and telling her so much that you lose all of the essential mystery necessary to spark sexual attraction.

How much to disclose is definitely a tricky part of the seduction routine. How do you know what to tell her and when so it will have the maximum impact?

Learning How to Communicate with Girls does not happen overnight, but if you keep this general rule of thumb in mind, you will at least have a start.

Don’t ever, ever tell a girl anything that will result in her being less attracted to you.

Now, of course, this is easier said than done. It does sound like commonsense, but you would be surprised by how many men blow it and spit out too much personal, intimate information too early in the game. They seem to just gush about unnecessary details that are too much, too soon.

It’s a fine balance in how to have a conversation with women because they will be practically begging you to be honest and share yourself with them, but don’t be suckered into doing so.
How to Talk to Girls:

1. Women don’t really want to know it all. They just want you to tell them enough so they feel comfortable sleeping with you…

2. If you blab too early, it will positively murder any chance you had getting laid. It also shows the woman you lack self-discipline and self-control, which are two crucial parts of your overall self-confidence.

3. A much better idea is to err on the other end. Take the chance that you are not giving her enough personal information and detail. That way you weave an aura of mystique around you.

Just for fun, I’m going to share with you a few things that you really need never share if you want to know flirting with women effectively:

    Your impressive statistics on serial killers
    Sex stories
    Kinky sex desires (save those for later)
    How big your comic/toy/porn collection is.It can actually be summed up like this: Avoid any talk of blood, death, pain, murder, war, rape, famine or anything else that might have a negative connotation.

A woman doesn’t need to know your sordid past. She just needs to know you aren’t a freak or dangerous before she will sleep with you. That’s a little secret you should remember in talking to women.

Here’s another good general rule of thumb in how to talk to ladies: Try to avoid talking about yourself at all. The best conversationalists are the ones who listen to others speak. In other words, try to direct the conversation so it is about her. But don’t act like you are avoiding talking about yourself, but dribble the details out sparingly. The key is not to be suspicious, but to be a bit mysterious in learning  How to Talk to Girls.
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In his circles
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Carlos Xuma

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Interesting comments. Polarized, but interesting. ;)

The point is to THINK. Think for yourself and don't just jump into someone else's agenda - or program. Whether it's this video's producers, or the guvm'nt.

Mind open, aware. And your eyes open, too.

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1. Lonely is the night - Billy Squier
2. Rolling Stones
3. Lunatic fringe - Red ...

DANGIT! I thought I was first. The comments appeared after a delay.

Darn you to heck, Youtube/Google.

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Woo hoo! I got mentioned!  :)  This is one of my favorite tones, too. It's from their synthy-days, and has a cool swirly thang going on in the stereo part of the mix if I remember right.
For you 80s metal freaky deaks, I'll give you a hint of my stack Scott meister hinted at: Boss Adaptive distortion into the Tonebone Plexitube, into another loop on my G that has a Sonic Stomp from BBE. Gives it ungodly presence. 
And the Boss AD gives your notes clarity and separation as an overdrive. I feel like I'm throwing razor blades out of my speaker now...
Thanks to Scott for turning me on to that Plexitube - it's IN-freaking-credible. I'm already in love...

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Dating Advice For Guys

It looks like he was born to woo women. Any time he arrives at a gathering, the women flock to him within moments and he never leaves a party without at least one woman on his arm. He gets laid. He gets respect. And he always seems to know what to say and how to say it. These are the things you will get in learning dating advice for guys.

He is comfortable in his own skin and always has all the right moves around women. Unlike other male stereotypes, such as the “jerk” or the “player” other guys respect him.

He’s the “natural.”

So, the question you’re probably asking yourself right now is what has he got that you don’t.

Well, rest easy. He’s got nothing. Nothing that you can’t also have.

Here are a few tips I like to share about becoming a natural by building up your self-esteem:

Dating Advice For Guys Tips:

1. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Rather than focus on your weaknesses, take some steps to highlight your strengths.

2. Using your list of strengths, make a list of goals that will allow you to showcase these strengths to other. For instance, if you are an awesome volleyball player, join a team and then hang the team photo on your frig

3. Set goals for the next six months, for the next year, for five years, and for 10 years. List the steps you will have to take to get to those goals.

4. Eliminate negativity in your life. If you hang out with people who are downers or you hurt your self-esteem, then get new friends. Life’s too short for that.

5. Realize that the true key to success with women is being happy with yourself. Once you’ve accomplished that, you will be unstoppable.

Remember, that the “natural” is a guy who is in tune with the most attractive parts of his personality and knows how to demonstrate that. You also can emulate these qualities and highlight your best features and traits.

It might look like his entire dating life is a cakewalk, but he’s getting rejected, as well. The fact is that because he is out there getting experience and putting himself on the line, he is also getting rejected.

If you spend some time hanging out with a “natural” eventually, you’ll notice that he has some great qualities that we all should strive for, but also that rejection doesn’t even make him blink an eye. His experience gives him self-confidence.

And if you think about it, that just makes sense. Do anything, or study anything, long enough and you gain some self-confidence in your abilities in that particular area.

For instance, many guys can talk confidently about football. They know the stats, the players, and the rules of the game. Talking about it feels natural.

So, imagine taking that confidence and use it in dating. You know enough about the rules and players and try out some plays yourself. Even if you fumble a few times in the beginning, son it becomes natural. You are not intimidated anymore and that leads to self-confidence. Dating advice for guys is surely a masterpiece.
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How to meet women

Intellectual. Athletic. Artsy. Rich. Cute. Buff. Sweet. These are characteristics that can speed up the process on how to meet women.

Women may have different terms to describe what type of man they want to date, but most women agree on the type of man they DON’T want to date. Women don’t want to date a “player” even if they all have variations of what a player does.

Ask a dozen women what a “player” is and you will get a dozen different answers. The only common definition I have found is that women say a player is a man who dates a lot of women and is always looking for quick sex or a one-night stand.

Women are afraid to let themselves be attracted to men they think are players because they don’t quite trust them.

How to meet women Tips:

1. Remember that although women have labeled players as basically bad guys who date more than one woman, just because you choose to date more than one woman at a time does not make you a player of a bad guy. As long as you are always open and honest that you are not dating her exclusively, the woman should trust you. You don’t have to give a lot of details, you can just reassure her that you really enjoy the time you spend with her at this point in time.

2. Don’t feel guilty about your decision to play the field and not date one woman exclusively. Unless you only want to date one woman, you would be misleading her if you pretended you were ready to be exclusive. If she knows you’re not ready for that, then it is up to her to decide if she wants to continue dating you or if she would rather look for a man who also wants to be exclusive.

3. Remember that just because you date around does not mean you have poor morals and have sex with anyone anytime. This is the label that women have given to men who are not ready to be exclusive, but it doesn’t mean you have to buy into that. Men often shy away from this term, too, thinking that it means a man of poor moral character who beds women indiscriminately.

4. Look at the typical “player” and note his traits and abilities with women. Study what he does right and learn from it, without writing him off as another heartless gigolo. You can emulate the qualities that help him pull women.

5. You will end up making all the women you date happy by being upfront and honest with them and letting them know that while you are not ready to settle down, you enjoy dating an amazing woman like them.

When you remember these tips, you will not only have a satisfying and fulfilling dating life, but you will actually be making the women you date feel good, as well. It is only when dishonesty comes into play that someone gets hurt. These are some tips on how to meet women.
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Attracting Women

One of the biggest mistakes men make when attracting women is listening to women who say they want a nice guy. The second biggest mistake is becoming a nice guy and thinking that this is the key to pulling chicks.

Usually the nice guy was groomed from childhood to be the way he is. He probably heard his mother, sisters, aunts, cousins, or other female relatives complain about men’s behavior and he made a vow to never be like those men and to not hurt women ever.

His goal was to be different. He would make friends with women and be the caring, sweet, considerate guy they all claimed to want. But of course he had a slight ulterior motive, even when he wanted to truly treat women like princesses, he still wanted them all to like him, make him their boyfriend and have sex with him. He thought this was the key to attract a women.

What he didn’t realize along the way is that his behavior turned him into a supplicating doormat. Here’s the mistake he made: He listened to what women said they wanted instead of observing what they responded to. He spends so much time making sure that the women in his life are comfortable around him, he has killed any mystery that sparks desire.

He never realized this could happen because his mother pooh-poohed his failures with women saying that one day a nice girl would come along who would appreciate him for just what a nice guy he was. She thought he had everything necessary in attracting women.

He is so worried that women will think he’s a jerk that he comes off as wimpy, indecisive and a weakling. He might even start to act in womanly ways thinking that this is what women want. It’s not. He might even buy into the whole idea that men are bad and the source of all that is wrong in this world.

The nice guy also always makes sure that nothing he says or do is threatening or bossy in any way. He’s no danger, and he tries to make that abundantly clear.

Well, here’s the kicker: you may want to make a woman feel safe, but if you make her too at ease or too comfortable you will kill desire dead. You need her to feel excited and that will spark her attraction. Nice guys are boring. Give her a little taste of the right type of danger and she’ll follow you around like a puppy.

Act like a woman and she will run away as fast as she can.

So here’s the reality guys: Don’t listen to what women say they want. They don’t want a man who is their BFF. They want a man. The secret to charm a women is just that simple.

Sure, you can share your feelings, but not all of them and not all the time. You may feel misled by women and that’s too bad. Get over it and move on. What? You say it’s not fair that they tell you they want one thing and then respond to another. Well, too bad. I’m going to let you in on a little secret that will make your forays into the dating world go much smoother: dating, just like life, isn’t fair.

The sooner you accept that and move on, the better off you’ll be and the more successful in attracting women. And the happier the women in your life will be, too.
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Carlos Xuma - Live The Alpha Lifestyle: Attract Quality Women With The REAL You

Carlos Xuma is a dating and attraction advisor, as well as a black belt martial arts instructor and motivational life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Alpha Lifestyle DVD course, the Power Social Skills program, and many others.  

Carlos' programs teach the essence of attraction between the sexes. By understanding the successful traits of an attractive and masculine man, you can attract more women, achieve more success with your career and financial goals, and experience a more rewarding life. 

His approach is called R.E.A.L. Game, which he's been teaching for the last 8 years with his programs and seminars, and he shows you how to use your authentic personality to attract the opposite sex, and make enhance your entire LIFESTYLE - to see and feel the Big Picture of attraction and success in social dynamics.

To learn more about Carlos Xuma and get his free dating tips for guys videos, and his free ebook, AND his free newsletter to help you become a better Alpha Man, go to

  • School of Hard Knocks
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Other names
Carlos Zooma, Carlos Zuma