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Dr. Jonathan Brady, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.
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"It doesn’t really help to win all of the side and counter claims, because more, including this argument, will simply be added to the pile. In this whole dynamic, both parties can get so defensive in holding their ground that they are right, and not conceding any inch, that both can sabotage any resolution from being discussed. The act of working towards a resolution, or feeling like one is reached, subsequently, is likewise thrown away in the process of kitchen-sinking, and it is difficult to notice along with everything else being flung."

#relationshipadvice   #communication   #counseling   #psychology  
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"When someone shares their pain with you, even when doing so in an attacking and defensive way, there is an opportunity to reach out and be with them in their hurt. In those moments, when your character is under attack, and when you are made to be the aggressor, listen gently."

#communication  #relationships #advice 
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"Hating hate, or turning your back to hate, solves nothing. Sitting with our own opposition to someone or something, or someone else’s opposition, gently acknowledging what feelings and ideas are there, not closing ourselves off to what we or another person is experiencing, is embracing hate; it is bringing a little more light into the color. Even more light comes in when we can acknowledge those tightened, difficult, and dark places that we, or others, find ourselves in, and not think less of anyone for being there. To me, this is compassion."
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"You can’t force someone to open up and talk about their feelings any more than you can force someone into the mood for sex."

http://bradyesque.com/blog/91-on-failed-turn-ons
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A friday evening poem.
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My latest, and a followup to my prior blog [ http://bradyesque.com/blog/86-on-mending-broken-friendships ].
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"Friendships can be repaired, but they cannot go back to the way things were; they can only go towards a new way of relating, and a new realization about how deeply we affect the ones we are closest to."

http://bradyesque.com/blog/86-on-mending-broken-friendships
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"Letting go is a process that does not devalue what happened, doesn’t include hating yourself for what happened, or simply forgetting that it happened at all. Letting go is allowing yourself the ability to cherish what happened, gently acknowledge that it happened and ended, and giving yourself permission to stay open and responsive to whatever newness comes towards you."
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"As much as twinks grow up, we all grow up, and we all have the ability to make more conscious and clearer choices in the kinds of relationships we would like to have, and the kind of life we would like to live."
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