journey of evolution
Bo-Xuan Lee, Division 3, 2nd grade #ws16e-s1d3

When I was three years old, my parents divorced. I was too little to know why they divorced. All I knew was my memory was stuck in their unhappy facial expressions. I was forced to live with my father after the divorce proceedings. It was the beginning of my nightmare which was far beyond my expectation. After divorce, my father was addicted to alcohol. He vented his rage on me whenever he was drunk. He became despaired, lose his faith on people, and finally he abandoned himself. I tried to revolt against him to protect myself but I was too little and too weak to do so. I grew up under his anger, despair, and violence so I became resentful especially to him. I gradually behaved differently with my peers. I did not want to involve any illegal events but I did spent most of my time to fool around in my high school life. I felt aimlessly and skipped classes all the time. One day, I dared to try something I have never tried before—to escape from my father. It may sound a bad idea but it turned out to be my best experience in my life.
As what he had done before, my father abused me again. I felt I was on the edge of breaking down and couldn’t endure his violence anymore. Therefore, I packed my luggage and planned how to escape this terrible place while he went to sleep. I was desperate to leave this house which was a hell to me and I told myself it was the time to be my own master. I seized the chance to bypass him while his deep sleep. As I opened the door, I swore myself for not stepping in the house again. I went to Tainan city to stay in my friend’s house. I knew I couldn’t stay there for long. I had no much money in my wallet, so I started to search jobs. I realized the importance of money to live independently. I needed money to find a place to stay, to buy food… to survive. 

I finally found a job in a construction site. The job was tiring because I needed to carry heavy iron and climbed up and down. I knew I couldn’t give up because there was no way back. Once I made the decision, I was the one to be responsible for the result. While I was getting used to my work, something happened. 

One day when I went back to my friend’s house after getting off from work, I saw my luggage was put in front of the gate and my friend stood there and dared at me. I was sad when I saw that scene as if I was deserted. I was almost drown by my sorrow. But I had no tears at all because my agony was far beyond any words or tears. However, I still went toward him and asked what was going on. He answered me his parents was angry and warn me not to stay in their house anymore because they did not agree with my escape. In fact, I knew they wouldn’t want to spend more money for my stay. 

After his explanation, I carried my luggage and went away. The night was darker than I got off from work, my luggage became heavy, and my mood was ponderous. I did not know where to go and lingered on the road. I tried hard to fix my thought while I reached the beach unconsciously. I sit and the idea of suicide flashed on my mind. I really wanted to end my life but the image of my mom across my mind. I hold on my last reason and told myself that I couldn’t let her live with sorrow. So, I dropped that idea to kill myself. I stood up and yelled to the sea, “I won’t give up! No matter how harsh the life becomes, I would go through”. I wiped off sand on my pants and continued my journey with confidence. I believed nothing could beat me. 

Next morning, I went to work as usual and pretend nothing happened. I couldn’t let anyone knew what happened to me. After getting off from the work, I asked my boss if I could borrow some money in advance and deducted from my salary. I was happy because he agreed. I went to rent a place to stay and a whole new life was waiting for me. 

After I restarted my new life, I became more diligent than before. I knew only work harder could let me survive. I couldn’t risk for losing my job. One day my phone rang and I couldn’t recognize the number. From the receiver, I heard a familiar voice. I did not see that person for a long time and her voice almost melted all my self-protection. I was timid to see the soft self. It was from my mom. She heard I ran away from home and she worried about me. She told me if I want to go home then I could go to find her. I thought maybe she was helping my father to advise me to go home. I refused her and hanged up the phone. After finishing the conversation, I blocked her phone number immediately because I was afraid I would accept her advice. 

I kept working as usual. It was winter and most people stayed at home with their family. My coworker discussed where to spend their Christmas holiday. I wanted to join their discussion but I couldn’t because I was alone. Getting off from work, I went to the supermarket for buying dinner. I saw children there was companied by their parents and full of smile and happiness on their face. It reminded me I was one of them. Unconsciously my tears dropped gradually. I started to miss my mom. I took my phone from my bag and searched my mom’s number. I wanted to call her and told her I wanted to go home. But I worried she may be disappointed to what I have done and wanted to abandon me. Few days passed it just right in the Christmas, every children was ate dinner with their family but I just ate in the convenient store. This time I couldn’t controlled my homesickness so I took my phone and called for my mom, when she picked up the phone I just started crying while I told her how much I missed her and how much I wanted to go home. My mom listened to me silently without any abuses, when I stopped talking she told me “hey! Kid, no matter how you became, you were always my child. I’m your mom, protected you was my duty so just came back if you wanted”. Because of my mom’s maternal love so I decided to go back and lived with her, lived in a happy family.

In the life of ran away from home I learn how to be independent, I knew how to doing choice for myself, I knew working for earned the money was a most tiring things in the world, and I saw so much benefit of lived with family. If I didn’t went through this journey, maybe I won’t know what were the best choice was for me. Running away from home was a bad choice indeed, but this experience made me learned so much things which other person whose age liked me couldn’t met with. So I bet, ran away from was the best experience in my life. 
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