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World's Funniest Jokes .Club
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Funny jokes, Joke of the Day, Funny quotes, facts and pick up lines.
Funny jokes, Joke of the Day, Funny quotes, facts and pick up lines.

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FEMALE CHAUVINIST JOKES

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?

A: The man.

***

Men Are Like:

Floor tiles: Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a lifetime.

Placemats: They only show up when there’s food on the table.

Mascara: They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Lava lamps: Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Bike helmets: Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Government bonds: They take so long to mature.

Parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

Copiers: You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.

Bank accounts: Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.

High heels: They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Curling irons: They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.

Bananas: The older they get, the less firm they are.

Mini skirts: If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your legs.

*** 

MALE CHAUVINIST JOKES

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

***

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
IA: t’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

***

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: ‘Cos she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”

***

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.

***

Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. 

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20 M views on Facebook

5 Chemistry Jokes

1)
Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
***
2)
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
***
3)
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
***
4)
Two atoms were talking to each other.
The first atom says, “I’ve lost an electron.”
The second atom asks, “Are you sure?”
First atom answers, “I’m positive!”
***
5)
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I’ve got my ion you.

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20 Most Convincing Bar Signs Ever
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Humor for Lexophiles - Top 25 Funniest Puns Any Real Lexophile Would Love.
worldsfunniestjokes.club
If you like playing with words and their meanings, if you are a lover of words, a language geek, a word nerd, than you will definitely appreciate cheesy, corny, funny play on words in the following list of 25 funniest puns. 1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side
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