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About two hours ago, I thought to myself, "'There's a monster in my closet' would be a neat way to start out one of those scary short stories I loved to read when I was in middle school."

I wrote it down, then wrote a little more and a little more. Right around the time I realized I had no idea how it ended, the ending tapped me on the shoulder and said "boo!"

I've never done this before, but I thought it would be cool to publish it here without the usual editorial and rewrites I do on everything, because the idea of conceiving, writing, and releasing a short story in just a couple of hours is intriguing to me.

If you're interested in the result, you can head on over to my blog and see something that I hope 12 year-old me would enjoy...
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410 comments
 
Hahaha..cool story. Reminds me of your 'stories' you would make up in Stand By Me. :D
 
I have to admit... I really didn't see the end coming. Nicely done.
 
Holy cow. I +1ed this before reading it, and I wasn't disappointed. Very nice, unexpected ending there.
 
Very nice! I liked it very much. Belongs in a Scary Stories to tell in the Dark.
 
What a cute, creative, and timely Halloween story for (slightly older) kids.
Ben Guy
 
that was a pretty cool read will
 
Awesome read!!! My 12 year old me loved it :D My adult me loved it too! :D
 
Oh wow, that's really good! Disturbing... But I really liked it. lol
 
Eeek, that is creepy...but good. I am just glad it wasn't zombies as they scare the bejesus out of me. I can definitely see a 12 year-old boy digging that story...
 
I loooooove the story. Think I would have loved it when I was 12 too :)
 
"no idea how to end it" just like Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
 
12-year-old me LOVES that story!

41-year-old me loves it, too. :)
Dawn C
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Reminds me of those goosebumps books when I was younger.
 
Shades of 'The Outsider' by HP Lovecraft. That's an AWESOME thing, by the way.
 
That was fun! Thanks for sharing it with us.
 
That's the perfect story for me to share with my middle school students. Love it!
 
[clap clap clap clap clap]

I had that same closet when I was eight. (But I wasn't ate, so that's OK I guess.) I can see it now, what it looked like after I'd closed it to be safe when I went to bed.
 
What's up with parents and peas? I think they're in league with each other. :-)
 
+Nicole Wagner The best stories are like that: they need to be written. It's always an honor when you get chosen to do the writing. :)
 
That was awesome. I especially liked the ending. :-)
 
What a great monster story!!! The water-heater-monster in the hallway utility closet was always my biggest fear as a little kid, with spiders coming in a close second.
 
This made my night, it really did. Thank you sir for such an interesting, and rather amusing story.
 
Very "Outer Limits-y"... I miss that show.
 
Wicked ending! For some reason now i'm thinking about V the series!
 
Thanks, everyone! I was going for Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, or Goosebumps, or something like that.

And it was really hard not to title it Mommy's Little Monster
 
Fun... reminds me of the Gargoyle story from Cat's Eye? Or was that Tales from the Darkside?
 
Reminds me of "The Girl Who Cried Monster" by R. L. Stine. Nice work, Wil! I'm a kid again!
 
I thoroughly enjoyed the story. It's everything a good halloween story should be. Fun, funny, but also uncomfortable and creepy. It's definitely something my 12 year old self would enjoy, but my 48 year old self enjoyed it too.
 
+Wil Wheaton Wait, blue pony nightlight? With Rainbow Dash protecting you, I don't see how that could have happened.
Still, very well written. Good Job Wil.
 
Very enjoyable! This kind of stuff is why I keep you in my circles, despite being tempted to uncircle you when you post annoying political stuff.
 
Obviously the dad has never seen Monsters, Inc. I smiled at the twist. Thanks for the fun story.
 
Great story, I was a little thrown when I realized the child was a girl. I guess I expected it from your point of view. Thank you for sharing that with us, it was very enjoyable.
 
Goosebumps! I didn't expect the ending at all. :)
 
I know some people where doing short stories without much editing like that a couple of years ago. They where doing like one story an hour and didn't know the theme before hand.
 
Curse you Wil Wheaton!! Trying to figure out how to get the wife and daughter into the closet...maybe better lock the cats in there too! :)
 
Reminds me, in a positive way, of scary stuff from the fifties and early sixties that i read in old magazines like the Swedish edition of Astounding in the mid-sixties. This is definitively a keeper... ;)
 
It's a very well done short story! I didn't expect the ending, I'm totally impressed! It's really high quality, hard to believe that it was only a few hours of work. Well done +Wil Wheaton!
 
I love how those little thoughts that pop into your mind can lead to stories like this. I've been writing a lot lately and it usually comes from a word or phrase in my head that is just nagging to be written. It's where that thought leads you is what I find to be so much fun as it usually isn't where you're expecting when you start.
Brian S
 
that was awesome. Great read!
 
I enjoyed it. I was thinking it sounded like a story I'd read before until the twist at the end. :) 
 
lol It's a WIL-DONE story! GET IT?


I'm not proud of that. :(
 
Love it! 12 year-old me would have loved it too.
 
First words after reading it :"Man, that's f***ed up!" I was not expecting that twist. You've rewarded my time with a great little story. Thank you sir.
 
Delightful...but why do they seem to be British?
 
My 13 year old gives her complete approval and ask when she can read more
 
LOVE it!! I'm not usually big on scary stories, but that is awesome.
 
That was amazing, in a disturbing sort of way.
 
Great story. Just in time for Halloween. Reminds me of "Creepshow".
 
+Anna Rowe Please tell her I said thank you. She's the target audience, so that makes me really happy.

If I can think of something else, I'll write it before Halloween.
 
Great story Gordie!
(someone had to say it)
 
"Terrific" and completely unexpected ending. "I realized that I was ever so hungry, and my food was getting cold." - complete "monsterification" of an innocent mind. I like it even though I'm 30. :)
 
Nicely done. Your writing style with fiction is the same as with your non-fiction. I soon forget I'm reading and simply see the story as it unfolds. When you publish fiction. I'll buy it as well.
 
You are a very strange man.
Dae McD
 
haha, well done.
 
That was fantastic. Really fantastic. Rough around the edges -- as you warned us -- but really solid.
 
haha, That ending was great!! Great story, you should try more. "There's a Monster in my attic/basement/garage/bathroom/garden/shcool/etc..."
 
+Wil Wheaton But would you write a similarly creepy story that begins "There's a monster at the end of this book..."?
 
Ack! Well done. Loved the ending.
 
Wil that was damn cool man. It totally reminded me of those scarey stories you would read back in middle school.
 
This is actually pretty damn awesome, Wil! So good it looks edited already. In my fiction I have to write and then worry it to death to make it presentable. (Went through all of Journalism school and write full-time now and still never learned to type properly.)

Fangs pushing Mom's teeth out of the way would elicit nightmares from my nine-year-old son. Nice! But you'll forgive me if I don't read this to him.

When the kid has nightmares and calls us to his bedside at 4 AM, all I can do is say, "Sorry, little man. I can't take away nightmares. I only give them." (In fiction.)

More! :)
 
I can't believe you wrote that in two hours!
 
Nice job. I'm sure a lot of little ones will enjoy hearing it.
 
hahaha...animal hair new trend 2012... i like it ..so do i will test run
 
Love it. It's fun and scary and just all around fantastic.
 
Great job, Wil. Outstanding stuff. Really outstanding.
 
It definitely wasn't the ending that I had expected at the beginning. A very cool short story. Great job. Now I think I had better go, my foods getting old....
 
That was awesome. I love how it ends. I'm sure 12 year old you would love it. 
Zia P
 
Nice! Happy Halloween!
 
This was quite cute and fairly awesome.
 
I think making the protagonist a girl was a cool move. It sort of inverts the damsel in distress paradigm. Nifty.
 
That was an awesome short story! I loved it.
 
Exactly the kind of thing I read when I was 12 (other than History books). These stories are what got me started in fiction and you did a very good job mimicking them (that's a compliment :P).
 
Reminds me of a really, really short Goosebumps story.
 
TOM CRUISE GET OUT OF WIL'S CLOSET.
 
Enjoyed reading it, nice twist in the end.
 
Well shit, howdy, now I have to go to Ace Hardware and get new locks!!
 
Very good for a quick write. Good job Wil.
 
Will congratulations for the last aparition in the big bang theory, is very fun,(sorry because my bad english I am brazilian follower).
 
You should try to get a Doctor Who story together. I think you would do well!
 
Bravo.I'm totally negative for this jobs ! "....But i see a camel too,...from a distance..." Ciao Wil
 
I loved it.

It actually sounds like exactly the kind of story my daughter likes to write, only more polished. She's 11. I sent her the link.(I know "You write like an 11 year old girl," doesn't sound like a compliment, but when said girl has a tendency to watch horror movies, and writes stories about haunted houses where all of her friends die or go insane, I hope you can see the compliment there.)

I'll just shut up now.
 
Funny that I came across your story just a few days after listening to the R.A. Montgomery (of Choose Your Own Adventure books) interview on The Little Metal Dog Show podcast. Both gave me a little blast of nostalgia that I much appreciate. Good job, Will.
 
That was terrifying! I'm going to have to let my daughter read this.
 
OMG creepy but so much fun!!! Could be the start of a syfy movie! 
 
That was really good. Totally didn't see that ending coming!
 
Very reminiscent of the old twilight zone. It has that frisson of sanity that peels away at the last second. More please.
 
Very nice, Wil. Had a real Twilight Zone for kids feel to it. Rod Serling would be proud.
 
I enjoyed that, Wil. Thanks!
 
12 year old me would have liked it.... I know this because she and I have the same taste :)
 
Well, it might be a bit gory for a 12 year old, but I enjoyed the story! Damn good talent you have there Will!
 
I enjoyed that immensely... or perhaps 12 year old me did. Keep it up!
 
That was awesome, Wil. I definitely enjoyed the ending.
To quote the "Robot Chicken" spoof on M. Knight,
"What a twist".
 
Good story, I never saw the ending coming! LOL Might be a bit much for a twelve year old though... Especially one who hears noises in his closet at night!
 
Okay, I'll confess I thought, whatever, I'll check it out because it's Wil Wheaton but my expectations were lowered by you. LOVED it. Great story Wil Wheaton.
 
Nice. One of those 'how well do you know yourself' endings.
 
Very enjoyable :) I felt like a kid again for a few minutes.
 
Anyone ever tell you the sprite graphic with the fez looks an awful lot like FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan?
 
Fantastic!

Out of curiosity, did your initial inspiration for "monster in my closet" come from watching Night Terrors episode of Doctor Who?
 
I saw a great blast from the middle school past when i came upon the boxed set of bunnicula at a half price books store. <3
 
+Dan Goldberg Nope. The only think that came to my mind was what I wrote in my blog: the first line. About 2/3 though it, I realized that the girl was a monster and didn't know it, so the last 1/3 came out of that.
 
Very good, next time my son says there is a monster in his room he can check it out himself
 
very cool, ty liked it muchly
 
+Wil Wheaton
Have you written any other short stories? I really like the style and it flows well. I can tell I'd enjoy other writings of yours. The ending is simply fantastic and I totally didn't see it coming. I love the part where she's hearing the laughter on the TV. 
 
Love it, Wil, I really enjoy the Flash Fiction process. Some of my best short stories have been put out that way.
 
Loved this so much...kids can check out thier own damn closets from now on...I'be always known closets suck. Cheers on the story.
 
Awesomesauce! Love the family dinner part. Passing link to my 15 year old daughter.
 
I have vowed to write "The Littlest Conquistador" as my first children's book.
 
And that is why I am following you! Amazing story Wil
 
good story! i certainly didn't expect that twist at the end and it def. made me say "ewwwwie!". perfect for kids!
 
I love it! Thanks for sharing your flash fiction with us!
 
The turn was dope, for sure. The initial flow was somewhat lacking, it seems a bit disjointed, but in general a fun twister of a flash story.
 
Oh, God, Now I'm too scared to go to bed in case the monster in my closet comes out.
 
Mr. Wheaton, that was one great little story! Now I have a bedtime story worthy of my kids whenever I have any :D
 
Mr. Wheaton, again you have impressed me. I suppose I should expect it at this point, but I am regularly surprised by your creativity. Thank you for sharing your gifts with your fans.
 
to write a story like this in such a short amount of time, amazing...very well done
 
When I was 12 (46 years ago) this is the kind of story that was in the 'adult' section of the Miami Public Library. I had to get a not from home to read stuff like this. I love it now and would have love it then! Well done, Mr. Wheaton.
 
Amazing. I'm going to have to make sure my future children read that.
Zach Z
 
great scary short story, doubly amazing for being a first draft
 
Great story and I can't wait to let my 8 yr old son read it tomorrow.
 
Please, oh, please send this into PseudoPod for their next Flash on the Borderlands contest. This was awesome. :D
 
Very cool, the twist at the end reminded me of R.L. Stine
 
Very cool! I wrote my first piece of (very, very ) short fiction in 20-odd years for some like-minded people here in G+ recently. I loved it!
 
Not too shabby, Wheaton. One flaw: Next time, get the gender of the person out there a lot sooner. I assumed it was a male narrating 1st person, until the gender reference. Suspension of disbelief was disturbed while I revamped the concepts in my head to a female perspective. Otherwise, well done!
 
+Wil Wheaton
I have a question that is unrelated to your short story and I don't want to post just to ask. A friend of mine introduced me to the Big Bang theory a couple years ago and, being the geeky nerd queen and Star Trek fan that I am, I fell in love. I've been wondering how you got involved with the show. Did they approach you? And what do you think about their portrayal of nerds?
 
I agree with John on the last post, I was kind of jarred out of the story a little when I had to change over to a girl's perspective, but otherwise I love it! It reminded me a LOT of R.L. Stine, and loved those books growing up.
 
I am so going to check that W, I have writing moments like that or I should say I did but idk I bet this will be great :)
 
OOOOHHH! That was fun! Thank you for sharing.
 
For a second, I saw "WWdN", and in my head heard, "WWWD" What would Wil Wheaton Do? And then i thought... thats just silly. :P
 
I'd like some more please. A short story like that just before bed is a great way to end the night.
 
I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo, and you've helped inspire me to push it harder and let my stories build somewhat organically. I try too hard to plan things out, and I think I need to just /write/ and as things happen, it'll become clear to me what happens next.
 
Really enjoyed the story and I hope you're inspired to write more.
 
Wil, my wife just watched the latest Big Bang Theory episode and she's now confused about you. She's been building a nice big hate of you the last 3 seasons and now, with your appearance in The Guild this season and now BBT, she's experiencing feelings of respect and fondness for your characters. She says that if you end up getting Penny and Leonard back together, she may have to love you.

I think she needs to tell herself it's just a show, she should really just relax.
 
Loved it. Thanks for sharing :)
 
Loved it, reminds me of the old V series with the flesh and scales.
 
I cannot +1 this enough. I have hated horror in all forms for so long. This was chilling and I loved it. A+.
 
I have never commented on your posts mostly because well, I'm just me. But I had to comment this time. Feel free to ignore. That was brilliant. Great buildup with an even better twist. Just simply enough written to appeal to a preteen but not too much to lose appeal for adolescent to adult. Very nice. If you had a compilation of stories such as these I would most definitely put it on my "must buy" list.
 
love it! reminds me of a story i wrote in elementary school! :)
 
Excellent story! I'd read it to my 10-year old if I didn't think he'd have nightmares... maybe when he's 12? Eventually, certainly! Thanks for sharing it with us!
 
Wil, you are a genius. That simple short story puts some of my longer ones to shame. Your writing style is amazing. 11/10! Grats man! Pure gold! A great addition to the Halloween season!
 
Very nice Will. Reminded me of one of those old Goosebumps tales.
 
Had to put on Gnarls Barkley's "The Boogie Monster" for the perfect mood music to go with this story. "There's a monster in my closet...now its plain to see the whole time the monster was me"
 
I was magically transported back to the days of R.L. Stine. Well done sir!
 
So, I add you because you're on The Guild, and then discover, "Hey, this guy is a pretty interesting human!"

I love the conversational style with this; it sounds like a story I might tell my kids off the fly. Or better yet, one of those awesome old veterans at church -- you know the type, the ones that you can't decide if they're going to hand out candy or whack you with their cane.
 
It makes me highly glad I don't have a closet.
 
Loved the story, and the ending. Had a wonderful time visualizing it, especially at the end. Next up, maybe a podcast reading for Halloween (hint, hint)? 
 
This was AWESOME! Thank you very much, brings inspiration.
 
Nicely done, Wil. Thank you. More please.
 
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I read it , that was a great story , i try to write my own and maybe soon will be published
 
That was very well done - good for you for just letting 'er fly like that.
 
This is cool, I've not had time to read it yet, but it's in my reading list for later. No the cool part is that this is even possible...
 
Oh wow! I'm soooo going to get my son to read this! It's awesome!
 
I didn't see the ending till it was nigh. Good job. You do know this could easily become addictive right?
 
Amazing story, very creepy! Because I work with words and also post on a fiction community site, my instant reaction is to critique everything I read, so my brain automatically threw up these two bugbears:

- Given a male author, I had assumed a male protagonist, and it was a while before anyone said 'she', which left me a little discombobulated.
- Also, how old is she meant to be? I only ask because when she thought 'suddenly feeling like I was seven years-old again', I thought 'you mean she isn't now?'. Somehow I seem to assume that anyone dealing with monsters must be 7.
 
Great story Wil!



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I sensed a bit of Ray Bradbury in there, too. Similar to the tone of his Martian Chronicles.
 
Wil, middle school that makes you sound so British, I grew up in the mid-west from the twin cities to Denver. And it has always been call Jr. High where I've lived.
 
Awesome work. Would've liked a better visualization of the narrator, but the storytelling is top notch. 
 
Britain has mostly infant, junior and senior/high.
Started reading and thought my 8 year olds would enjoy this. But then - they would but their parents would be with me pronto!
Fantastic!
 
A great story Wil. I would definately buy the collection of children's stories. It could be fun to get the story illustrated...
 
That actually kinda scared me, good stuff!
 
That was awesome!! I sure did not see that ending coming!! I think I found a perfect Halloween story to tell my grandchildren!!
 
Great story - hope you do something like this again!
 
Excellent story Wil, especially for a first draft. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.
 
If my lowly self may make a suggestion or two? Pantomime used 3 times in a row kinda seems.. redundant. Maybe mixing it up a bit like "He shook the knob and pantomimed looping a chain around it that he secured with an imaginary pad lock. He swallowed the pretend key and rubbed his belly."
Also.. I didn't get the sense of the character being a girl until alnost halfway through. Like the other person mentioned, I assumed it was a boy for some reason.
The story seems a little short to garner suspense, but I really dug it! :) Maybe more dialogue with the monster? I'm not sure. It definitely reminded me of all those silly horror story books I had in middle school too. RL Stine, and all kinds of compilations of scary stories I adored. You definitely have something going for you, and this is a good rough draft!
 
Short, effective, and down to the point. Nice one! :) Looking forward to more flash fiction..^^
 
A psychiatrist would have a field day with that story ;)
 
Good story Will. Really enjoyed it, and did not guess the ending tillI read it ;) well done!
 
Peas for dinner. Truly horrifying.
(Seriously though, well done story!)
 
I've read the story - it's really nice, though I am not sure "nice" is the good word for it. I mean - if i were 12 then I'd probably go to sleep with my parents after reading it, now almost 30 - I am just trying to picture myslef @12 reading it but unfortunately my imagination muscle must be getting rusty. BTW - I'm a big fan of Wesley Crusher and a whole bunch more of EVIL WIL WHEATON in TBBT :-)) Cheers
 
Excellent story, very enjoyable!
 
Pssst psssst great story!
 
thanks for sharing Wil, that was rad. the monster reveal legitimately had me frightened. i had a similar impulse today, but my writing was based on the dream i had just before waking. weird that we both got that inspiration to write and share today. good day for it i guess :) feel free to check out my last post for a short little tidbit of a writing exercise.
 
I love how it is an expected ending but because It's so expected you don't see it coming. Does anyone know what I mean?
 
Cool story. I'm thinking I'll wait a few years before springing this on my 9-year-old daughter. :-) 
 
That was awesome. The best part though, is that you spelt 'Mum' correctly.
 
I am The daughter of Lisa. I am 11 and I love the story! I love it because of the detail, and how you sort of described the bloody parts, but not really, because when people really describe the blood I don't want to finish the story. I like how the girl is pre-teen-ish age and she still doesn't know that she is a monster, and she doesn't want to be one.
 
Wonderful!!! You started my day off so well, thank you.
 
That was great. I'm trying to be more creative and get involved in writing, and the fact that you went from nothing to a story with feedback in a few hours is inspirational. 
 
I love how you told a great story in so little words and it felt compleat. Can't wait for a collection of mini stories to come out. ^_^ 
 
Ha ha! That was brilliant! I loved it, you got talent Wil.
 
I love the economy of this story, the voice is right.
 
Excellent story! I would print it out and post it on Stephen King’s gated house, but he would probably steal the idea… Very well done indeed!
 
I love flash fiction. I try to do the weekly flash fiction challenge over on the http://www.absolutewrite.com forums, but that has worked out to only 3 actual short stories written in the past 2 years. There is always next week...
 
Flash Fiction was my solution to learning how to not write 80.000 word novels that don't want to end. It's a great lesson in creative writing and process and can yield some surprising tales. I find that it writes a lot smoother in the first person. It's like a stream of consciousness, but instead of lying on your back staring up at the sky as your pen flows, you're riding through clear waters. You can see the obstacles that are ahead of you... and hopefully, you end with a waterfall which hurtles you to a place you never expected to find at the end of your flash fiction journey.

Good writing Mr Wheaton! Very nice to know somebody else knows of the flash fiction term.

By the way: Not that you can just cap off creativity, but in order to keep to it's flash fiction values, do you know when you intend to stop before you get there? I tend to think when I reach page three, I start to find my way to wrap it up.

All the best
Stephen
 
The story is realy good, nicely written, catchy and original. I do think it's a tad bit too scray and grafic for children. Even those of 12, they will love it, but end up with nightmares.

Maybe tune it down a wee bit for a kids story, or go all out stephen king style and make it an adult one (i prefer the last since its been i while i read a good scifi/fantasy story)

Cheers
 
Thanks for sharing that Wil....I loved reading through and relishing the anticipation of what was coming. You write better than King in my books...
 
I read this aloud to my wife last night sitting on the back porch. I think it would be an awesome writers tool. You should host a 'There's a monster in my closet' contest and the winner gets a +Wil Wheaton pic collating papers.
 
That was a lot of fun! Thank you for sharing with us. =)
 
Great twist, good story for the little kid in all of us who appreciates a few sleepless nights looking at the unknown under the bed or in the closet.
 
Good read, a bit predictable in storyline but overall, I think it's great for those horror short story collections for kids
 
Good story!! Loved it!!!!
 
Great story! I really liked it, and I didn't see that coming at all.
 
Goosebumps at the end... is there more rolling around in your head? :)
 
All I can say is.... wtf, weirdness! Haha, but at least I read it, and I seriously avoid reading fiction kinda stuff like this. Of course now I'm intrigued by this whole "Flash Fiction" concept.
 
ok- that almost scared me enough to wet my pants. Well done!
 
I didn't think it would go in that direction, loved it! It always fascinates me how writers can pull ideas out of thin air and craft a story like it was nothing. I wish I had the imagination for that.
 
Hah! That was brilliant, and actually pretty creepy. I'd have to call that two hours well-spent. You (or a female voice actor, say... Felicia) should record an audio version of it!
 
Great story Wil. I'm going to read it to my daughter tonight. She loves stuff like this. I also love the idea of handing this out for Halloween!
 
Great.. I finally had gotten over SK's story The Bogeyman ( after years..) Now i wont ever be able to leave my closet door open.. EVER!!!
 
I love your stories. Honestly, keep up the excellent work.
 
Before reading, let me just say that it sounds like a great way to start a creepy story. I loved the line from Dr. Who "there's a crack in my wall". Stating something normally so obvious can give it a creepy feel - especially if that line is repeated. It gives a sense of something sinister. I'll read the story when I can, and see if it makes sense to do that here.
 
It would be good enough to share if everyone I know didn't already follow you!
 
I think the 12yr old would be psychologically damaged by that story... but I enjoyed it.
 
Oh my God, I loved it. It reminds me of this movie called "Trick or Treat" which is a few short stories but at the end of it you realize all the stories intertwine. The general tone and the way you wrote it just reminds me of a story that would have fit great into that movie.
 
Not bad. You have a disturbing vision; gotta love it.
 
:) Well done Wil, what a great short story. Perfect for the Halloween season. Now I want to have children just so that I can read them this someday!
 
blink-blink gulp

Awesome, just... awesome
 
I'm trying to picture 12 year old you. Are we talking Gordie Lachance, or Wesley Crusher?
 
At first, I found it hard to appreciate the simplicity. Once I finished reading, the pieces had fallen together and I was smiling. Very well done buddy, and I'm not just saying that because you're Wil W. I think my 10-12y/o self would've said "HOLY S#*T!" at the ending. Thanks for posting.
 
Chills with my morning coffee. This one's a keeper, sir.
 
I'll admit I glanced ahead and saw "joined my family for dinner." Thought it would all be a dream as I was reading through - but that changed. Good story. Although, would children know what 'pantomime' means?
 
Gross, but just perfect for a 12 year old boy.Reminds me of the stories my boys enjoyed when they were kids. Rewrites?? Why?? I thought it was great as it was (other then gross, but then I am a girl! LOL)
 
Loved it! I will share it with my daughters (ages 6 and 9). Both are avid/advanced readers and fans of sci-fi/horror. This short story fits the bill perfectly.
 
I'm a bit of a reader, but I wasn't even going to bother reading it. All I see are glowing reviews from the fans here and I knew you could've just written the word "fart" 1,000 times and everyone would've called it genius. But you know what? I did read it. I'm glad I did. I used to read "Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark". I was a little old for Goosebumps, but this was a good read. I'm glad you shared it! Thanks!
 
I love it. Like you said, it reminds me of the short stories I enjoyed as a kid. And still love now. :) Thanks for sharing!
 
Awesome! I have goosebumps...creepy and wonderful...don't stop!
 
Sounds like a great Dr. Who episode!
 
Would love to hear a prequel leading into the dad's closeting.
 
Wow! I gotta get my 16yo to read that. It might inspire him to write more (he hit a block recently)
 
That was dark, unexpected, and awesome. nice!
 
Great job. Loved the surprise ending :)
 
Yeah, okay. I have to admit...I loved it!!! Great job!!
 
I've never been one for scary stories or scary movies, but that was an excellent story! Very well done, Wil! :-)
 
Thank you for sharing the short story Wil, it was very well done especially as a draft version.
 
Unexpected twist at the end that is difficult to guess and keep readers on their toes. But most important of all you kept your sentences simple to read and yet not boring. In short you have a flair for writing horror stories =)
 
Excellent! Made me think of Shel Silverstein, until the bit at the end. :) He didn't normally go into that kind of detail.
 
Whoa! Great story. I did not see that coming.
 
That was definitely creepy! I did not foresee that ending either.
 
Eww. Excellent writing. Compelling. Great story too. Loved reading it. So gross tho. :)
 
Gah! I'm seriously creeped out! Outstanding job!
 
That was really great! Just the right amount of creepy :)
 
It was creepy and twisted in a good way. Nice short!
 
That was far more awesome than I thought it would be. Totally unexpected, loved it!
 
It would be scary for a 12 year old, but for some strange reason my mind's eye had it acted out by muppet characters! - I must be weird... 
 
it reminds me of an episode of goosebumps i watch yesterday
Chris L
 
This immediately reminded me of a Goosebumps story. I can say with certainty that you did 12 year-old you proud.
 
I just read that story to my tween daughter. She was laughing and thinking it was a fun story. Then we got to the end and she sat there with her mouth hanging open, horrified. Lol, now she says she'll never call us up to check her closet ever again. Hahaha. She knows you +Wil Wheaton from The Guild, and thinks it's awesome you write stories too. Thanks for the fun afternoon spookfest!
 
I really enjoyed the story, creative, great twist, and delightfully spooky. My only complaint was the same one +Jeffrey Linton voiced earlier, that I was taken off guard by the narrator being female. In first person stories I generally find that I assume the sex of the narrator is the same as the sex of the author until I find out otherwise, and there wasn't really any indication that it was a girl until the line "there's a good girl" (I guess you could argue for the blue pony being an earlier indication, but that's still a third of the way into the story, and I know some guys that like ponies). I just would have preferred an earlier sign that it was a girl, but that's a pretty small problem and an easy fix if you agree. Otherwise, great stuff :)
 
Oh, creeeeepy!! I totally didn't see that end coming. hides under the covers
 
Whoa. I love a good story that keeps my jaw dropped from the twist all the way to the end. Nice. You got my inner kid hooked.
 
Brilliant! You had me. No idea where that was going.
 
Not bad at all. ^_^ For some reason, when I pictured it in my head, I couldn't stop myself from picturing you as all the characters. Facial hair and all. Lol
 
omg. that was wonderful, I loved the twist at the end, should be something u get into, as a side track. your mind is so twisted. prolly, why i love your work. so much lol
 
Would make a nice twilight zone or equivalent episode. Actually one of the dark humored x-files would be the best. 
 
Loved it... reminds me of a short story I wrote back in the day, also with a not so happy ending about the boogey man.
 
Ok Wil I just had to read this to my daughter again for the fourth time. In another few days I'll have it memorized. I need a new story bud!
 
Love it! It completly scared the pants off my inner child, but by the end, she screamed in glee! Nice job Wil. :)
 
Whoaaa, creepy story but really good!



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I really enjoyed the story, Wil. And the twist at the end was priceless.
 
Happens to me all of the time. I get the weirdest looks from people when I do that.
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