To Milly's

A #SaturdayScenes   from near the end of my #RiverNovel  . I'm wondering if you can guess what's REALLY bothering the narrator.

"the best horror... forces us to confront ideas we might rather ignore, and challenges preconceptions of all kinds."
 Elements of Aversion, Elizabeth Barrette

I open the throttle and race out to the open air. The wind pulls back my hair and pummels my face, helping me to feel more awake and alert. I bend my head back far enough to feel the sun's light on my forehead, which stretches out all of my muscles and joints, and massages all of my organs.

I let off of the throttle completely. The engine idling is too noisy. My eyes dash around, and I see no one. I hear nothing. My ears adjust to the quiet, and I still only hear the water splishing against the boat.

Am I crazy? Which is worse? Driving out in the open where I'm conspicuous? Or snaking around between the islands? My muscles go tight, then limp as I whimper. The boat is drifting toward shore, and I don't want to hit a shoal. I don't have a map or River Chart or whatever they're called. I turn the boat toward the channel and speed up again, and then slow down. I can't run up on a shoal. I can't believe that they don't mark things better with buoys. How does anyone get around out here? He always had me leaning out over the front of the boat, watching for shoals, and telling him where to turn left or right. I'm looking around, but can't see ahead while driving. Too fast, and the front of the boat goes up in the air. Too slow, and the current pushes me toward shore. I want to get off of this River. I've got to get somewhere fast. I can't stand being out here.

I've got to get to Milly's. I've got to eat. I've got to stay focused. I close my eyes to visualize a clear path before me, but startle with fear that I might drift and get stuck. I fight back blinding tears and push forward, focusing with tunnel vision on getting to Milly's while the coast is clear.

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