As the days grow shorter the dark gathers mass. I can already feel it as it begins to encroach once more. Slowly but inevitably.
In the eternal battle between light and dark the darkness is without doubt the eventual winner. Light needs energy and must always struggle to survive while the dark need only lie in weight. Or so it sometimes seems. I guess that relativity sort of puts the lie to the idea that the energy must sooner or later be used up and the light die out. Or does it? They say that when the accelerating universe reaches a critical velocity it will shatter and tear itself apart. Does that mean that all matter will become energy? If so then I would imagine the result to be a light so vast and overreaching that it may finally eliminate the dark for good.
Again, something I would like to believe. Somehow it does not feel correct though. the future IS darkness... for eternity (as if eternity even has any relevant meaning).
Someday, billions of years from now or more... the last sunrise will come, followed by the final sunset and than never ending darkness.
Our planet will likely be swallowed by our sun long before that so WGAF right?
Dunno. My head is not all together with it tonight. Eeerie echoes of the beast inside it. Not too insistent but annoying enough.
All of a sudden Jeremiah is growing so quickly. Maybe not in size, although he clearly looks older, but perhaps more so mentally. He is developing a distinct personallity and awareness of his own and he is so incredibly inquisitive. he misses nothing. he is picking up gestures and words and attitudes but for the most part he is still one of the most pleasant babies I have ever seen. He is that stage, just really a bit past beginnig crawling, moving around in his walker like a madman. He just wants to go, to explore, to see and touch and to learn.
The world through the eyes of a child, especially a baby, is an awesomely new and magical place.
I'm kind of down some tonight. Not really in depression I guess. At least not the debilitating depression I have known so many times before. But sad all the same, with the weight of tears behind my eyes for some unknown reason. No causality there. They just are. That question about my best years... that really settled heavily on me. Not the years themselves but the memories of the years that followed. They should have been glorious years.
At times I really feel the need to just escape from everyone and everything and either become a cloistered, secluded Tibetan monk or some reclusive hermit hidden away in the mountains. I could do that. I know I could. Survival would be constant work and so I would be busy all of the time and that would shut the damn beast up for good.
Be good people. Stay strong, always face the world with a smile, never refuse a hug and go for at least one good belly laugh per day.