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Tobias J Turner
Attended Tennessee Technological University
Lived in Laurel, MD
191 followers|440,600 views
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Tobias J Turner

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X-Men Apocalypse was better than I thought it would be.
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I'm on the first episode with Trent. This show is the best. #CrazyExGirlfriend
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Awww... Was that the only episode with Trent? Trent was the best.
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Will my wife get stabbed to death in a play?!?!?

Buy tickets at mctc.ticketleap.com
Opening night tickets are $5 online for a limited time, only.
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a little something for the daddies
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I just overheard a drunk guy say, "I don't want to die within my lifetime."
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The more big-budget, tent pole, blockbuster Star Trek movies they make, the less I think a big budget, tent pole, blockbuster movie is the right vehicle for Star Trek.
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I agree with that, but I also just feel more and more alienated by the tent pole movies every year, so I got double apathy
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This tutorial is speaking my language.
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Have him in circles
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Tobias J Turner

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UNNECESSARY HEART ATTACK OF THE DAY

I get a random loooong email chain forwarded to me from my manager. I scroll down to the bottom and start reading.

Shock #1: The Senior Vice President of Information Technology, who I have never met in person, knows me by name and believes that I can fix this issue.

Shock #2: The issue revolves around landing a $500,000 sale.

Shock #3: I get this email at 9:15 am. I also get an invitation for a meeting to discuss the solution at 9:30 am.

FREAK OUT

I scramble around, grabbing junk computers for testing and googling what on Earth the customer they're talking about even does. I actually come up with not one possible solution, but two! I rush back to my desk, go to join the call and see that it is scheduled for 9:30am..... tomorrow.
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As opposed to all those necessary heart attacks you have.
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Elizabeth: Impossible.
Me: Impossible things are happening everyday.
Elizabeth: ...
Me: Fist bump?
Elizabeth: ...
Me: Rodgers and Hammerstein fist bump?
Elizabeth: ...get away from me.
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I really wanted that article to be true. It's really funny nonetheless. 
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"Hey, Edith Keeler, let's take a selfie."
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I've done my standup set three times, so far. Two of those times, during the applause, a lady audience member has given me a "Wooooo!!" I can't tell if these women were really into my jokes or if these women were really into being supportive of a stranger who is obviously trying his best but has a lot of work to do.
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TechOps annual BBQ. This job. THIS. JOB.
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Second plate!
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People
Have him in circles
191 people
Julian Pearce's profile photo
minkee lu's profile photo
Kym Sims's profile photo
Fameless's profile photo
Elizabeth long's profile photo
Kevin Torrence's profile photo
Lewis Gettier's profile photo
Francisco De La Cruz-Obregon's profile photo
Noah Stefanick's profile photo
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Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Previously
Laurel, MD - Nashville, TN 37211 - Red Boiling Springs, TN - Cookeville, TN - Hendersonville, TN
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Education
  • Tennessee Technological University
    Education, 2004 - 2010
  • Hume-Fogg High School
    2000 - 2004
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Looking for
Friends, Networking
Birthday
November 10, 1985
Relationship
Married
Other names
Toby
Tobias J Turner's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
Video: Pokemon Sun & Moon Releases November 18th
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The Pokémon Company International has today unveiled a number of details around the upcoming Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon games, which will

Sotheby's to Sell Possibly the World's Largest Cat Painting—Let the Bidd...
news.artnet.com

Sotheby's sale of a large portrait of cats in the first week of November may indicate that the fervor over cat-related artwork may be coming

R.I.P., Tillman the skateboarding dog - The Washington Post
www.washingtonpost.com

Tillman the skateboarding dog, a 10-year old bulldog who loved skateboarding and surfing so so so much, has died.

Alan Tudyk Would Play BLUE BEETLE If It Meant Working With Nathan Fillio...
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In a recent interview, geek favorite actor Alan Tudyk claimed he'd be interesting in starring in that rumored Booster Gold/Blue Beetle movie

Judge John Hodgman on Bad Faith - The New York Times
www.nytimes.com

Thou shalt not use your town’s Hebrew school like a Learning Annex.

I Was There Too - I Was There Too
iwastheretoo.wolfpop.com

If you're like Matt Gourley (Superego, Drunk History, James Bonding), then you know all the classic movie and television scenes so well i...

Announcing the Star Wars Rebels Season Two Fan Art Contest Winners! | St...
www.starwars.com

See the powerful winning entries featuring Jedi, Mandalorians, and more!

Pepsi Will Release a Limited Edition Back to the Future Bottle, Pepsi Pe...
paleofuture.gizmodo.com

People who grew up watching Back to the Future: Part II are still waiting on hoverboards, flying cars, and those self-lacing shoes. But ther

Cloning Your Dog, For A Mere $100,000
www.npr.org

The Duponts in Louisiana loved their mutt Melvin so much they jumped at the chance to replicate him. Melvin is gone now, but he has left beh

NASA Confirms Evidence That Liquid Water Flows on Today’s Mars
www.nasa.gov

New findings from NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) provide the strongest evidence yet that liquid water flows intermittently on pres

Skirmish: An Addictive 10 min Card Game. Cooler than Chess? by Danny Zon...
www.kickstarter.com

Danny Zondervan is raising funds for Skirmish: An Addictive 10 min Card Game. Cooler than Chess? on Kickstarter! A heart pounding good time.

Hendricks v Starkist Co.
www.tunalawsuit.com

Welcome to the Hendricks v. StarKist Co. website. If you purchased one or more of the StarKist Products from February 19, 2009 through Octob

Poll: Vote for the Next Star Wars: The Black Series 6-inch Figure | Star...
www.starwars.com

Choose between a deadly Sith, a smooth-talking smuggler, and more fan favorites!

Tama, The Cat That Saved A Japanese Train Station, Dies
www.npr.org

Tourists would come to the Kishi train station near Wakayama City to see the feline hanging out in her office — a converted ticket booth — w

Star Wars: Uprising Puts You in a Whole New Galaxy | StarWars.com
www.starwars.com

Play as a bounty hunter, smuggler, and amazingly, even a diplomat in a new mobile game set between the original trilogy and Star Wars: The F

マリオが飛び込む大乱闘 任天堂・DeNA提携の深層
www.nikkei.com

迷走か、起死回生の一手か――。任天堂がディー・エヌ・エー(DeNA)と資本提携を結び、スマートフォン(スマホ)ゲームに参入する。「マリオ」に代表されるブランドは、任天堂が忌避してきた大乱闘の市場に飛