Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Tim Johnson
8,906 followers
8,906 followers
About
Posts

Post has attachment
Daaaaamn.
Photo
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Excited for Alemania vs. México tomorrow.
Photo
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
- Engineer, we have a problem.
- Oh no, Mendez again.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
After my kids found out about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, today I sat them down and revealed that I'm the one who really replaces the toilet paper roll. They freaked out.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
- Ever since you left, the house is so empty...
- Do you want me to come back?
- No, I just want you to give me back my furniture.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
When you're watching an action movie and a racy scene comes on

and the kids say "Can we look now, uncle?" and you say "No, not yet", even though you know it's already too late.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
This is what will happen to everyone who doesn't let me sleep.

Assholes.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
When they insist they never said that, but you have the screencap.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
Hey, man, I bit him because he acted like he threw a rock for me and he didn't actually have anything in his hand, now let me go.
Add a comment...

Post has shared content
Add a comment...
Wait while more posts are being loaded