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The Bridge Counselling Service
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The Bridge Counselling Service's posts

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It's a brave thing to do, learning to be yourself.

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I think Prison Break's Wentworth Miller responded to a cruel meme about his weight with grace and dignity, talking about his struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. I think his explanation is both beautiful and powerful.

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'Whether we’re high power execs or stay-at-home moms, self-criticism is a tendency that many people have. In fact we often think of self-criticism as key to self-improvement. We fall for the idea that self-criticism pushes us to perform better and to live up to higher standards. Yet we couldn’t be more wrong. Research shows that self-criticism is more akin to self-sabotage. It actually hurts our performance, productivity and well-being.'

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What would your life be like.....if you stopped trying to fix yourself? ~ Geneen Roth

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"Freezing is actually a common response to a threat that we see in mammals, in fact, not just humans," Dr. Martin Antony, a Ryerson University psychology professor and author of The Anti-Anxiety Workbook, told VICE. "Some people would argue that... people shouldn't even talk about 'fight or flight.' They should talk about 'fight, flight, or freezing.'"

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Here's a great article which talks more about why we people please.
'1. We think we’re responsible for how other people feel. 2. If we can focus on pleasing everyone else we don’t have to face our own demons. 3. If we can please others then it means we are important, valuable, worthwhile, and lovable.'
No.1 is a biggie. How many of us have been told we've made another person feel a certain way?

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Boundaries - a single word with big meaning. Simply put it means knowing what's ok for you and what's not. So many of us find setting boundaries difficult because we fear the judgement of others and as result fall into the trap of people pleasing. Paraphrasing Brené Brown she says as a result of setting boundaries she is not as sweet but definitely more loving - I really respect that. So, what boundaries do you need to set in your life?

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I'm reading Peggy Natiello's The Person-Centred Approach: A passionate presence. A great reminder of why I practice this approach to counselling.

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Vulnerability - the key to growth.

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