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Darwin Hawke
OMG I'm trying so hard not to spray my coffee on the screen.
Could you "hold it properly" with your feet?
<fanboi> Perfect! Now I can strap one in front of each of my eyes and it's like my own HUD! Suck it, Google! *walks into wall* </fanboi>
No problem, +Ben Smith , I avoid irritating the computer programmers of G+ when I can.
Android in your right hand, Blackberry or Windows phone in your left, and a Siri iPhone in your shirt pocket.

Never be out of the loop. EVER.
I can see the iPhone in the pocket over the Android in the hand, but why the Blackberry or Windows phone in the other hand?  You need something to wipe with or something?
No, it's to shield the screen on your Android from the sun.
Pfff. Everyone knows serious Apple fans already have one for each hand and 2 iPads for chest and back armor.
The people I see walking down the street looking at their phone and not where they're going would buy into this!
Apple fan trolls could actually do that.
No obligatory joke about finally getting 'true multitasking'...? I feel so let down...
that was the last straw, what else now, an iPad as a cushion?
HAHA Android has taken over & now Apple ask its loyal fanboys to each buy another so they can double their sales? - LMAO if you haven't got an iphone by now, you ain't gonna get one.
i hope its not beginning of the end for apple,,, after effects of galaxy S3's super success are visible..
lol. awesome. how about two to use as the heel of a shoe? one to use as a door stopper, another for propping up those chairs with uneven feet.
One to balance my coffee table and the other to hold my papers down while I use my Galaxy Nexus ;-)
+Eleanor Harris The only thing real about the Onion is how good they are at getting people to question whether their fake articles are real or not ;-)
I owned the iPhone and the iPhone 3G then switched to android. Never looking back.
Don't tell me all Apple users are like this?  Isn't Apple suppose to be creative?
The iPhone Says Its A 4-G, Buy it runs Slow, Like A 3-G, !
Lol its ridiculous. Do people not know that the Onion posts fake, humerous news stories?
Just stupid! Double the iPhones, double the chances of walking into a pole. Ouch...:(
Just stupid! Double the iPhones, double the chances of walking into a pole. Ouch... :(
Cause the onion is that awesome :)
also the largest group of people is not a skin color, age, or race, it's stupidity.
I didn't know the Onion posted fake stories. I kinda thought they did but glad to know it now.
Bill M.
If only people would actually fall for that market strategy. 
"OMG I must have!!!!" said that guy who's still lame in spite of having an iPhone. Lol
+Marty Rudinec Of course, because people understand that the true purpose of smartphones is not to act as tools for keeping a person connected but really exists for the sole purpose of giving someone yet another cause to get up on a soap box for.  That's why the choice of Android or IOS is so important.  You have to think carefully before dedicating a lifetime of blind loyalty to a block of plastic and silicon.
I think i should get another one for my dick so it can draw 
you mean there are people with only one?
Is this their solution to double the battery life of the iPhone ?
Even if it's a fake, it wouldn't be far from the truth. 
Don russ
Hey apple finally has true multi tasking! Lmao
This would finally allow multitasking on the iphone.
+Jay Mars , you're contradicting yourself. Has anyone actually seen the actual ad? It's not even part of the article itself.
Soon they'll be urging customers to slice a third hand onto their bodies. And if they can get people to do that, they can get people to do anything...
It's simple...people say The Onion is fake news....the article will see a commerical about it during the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games....that's we will see how fake this story is....
Finally! The world can finally see how ridiculous Apple is! 
I am finding even funnier the comments here, especially the ones coming from those who believe everything they read on the Internet.
Sounds pretty stupid. We want one phone that can do all, not yet another to strap on... Suck it Apple, you guys are pathetic.
I'll be the 1st to admit the iphone is addictive but owning two is just crazy!
Haha. I love the Onion sometimes. I really love the fact that people think it's true more.
+Archie Huertas I meant that even if the article is a fake. I'd still seems like something Apple would do to boost their sales.
I love when people take The Onion or Fox News seriously.
Well with an iPhone I guess you would need two phones to have true multitasking, unlike Android LOL
Too bad the retailers like AT&T won't LET you, unless you sign a two year contract or pay the retail price of some stupid number like $600.
I'm waiting in line to buy the first offhand iPhone sold in my state.
People shouldn't take this seriously. If you do, go check out The Onion on how all the stars in Hollywood are coming out as gay. Hilarious.
LOL! I'm even more amused at how many people don't realize it's a joke. Don't ever change, internet!
Well, when you can't multitask properly I can see how you might think this was real.  :)
Someone in marketing at apple is cursing onion for making a joke out of their next big campaign.
Next article - Apple sues Apple for patent infringement...left handed iPhone-ing.
Screw iPhone I had it for 4 days hated it Apple is a corn artist
Sell Apple products to Applehedz. Easy money!
Pun aside, I prefer the smaller iphone form factor to the Galaxy SIII's gynormous screen for a very simple functional reason.
I prefer 1H phones to 2H phones as they require only 50% of a very limited resource to use.
... which will debut Friday night during the Olympic opening ceremonies... - I like this line lol
This will be the stupidest ad I'm going to see if they run that. People trying to put everything together in to one unit, that's why ppl go for phone/tablet hybrid models with bigger screens.
Too late. I have a 4GS and I still have my old 3G (that I use as a wi-fi only iPod).
Crapple they can't sell their so-so products so sue Samsung since they sell the most smartphones and good ones to. No wonder the sales are down ......crappy company strategy
This reminds me of the "Left or Right Twix" ads...although I think the Twix ads are a little more endearing. ;-)
The real news is that now siri will be called Steve, and apple will change her voice to sound like Steve jobs, now apple can't die cause Steve is inside every iphone
Since this was reported in the Onion, one must peel away all the layers of irony to get at the real story.
why in the world is apple doing
lol Apple is getting desperate. All the more reason not to get their gadgets.
And the Sun does not take no prisoners...
Poor Apple, not able to keep up with Android sales because everyone's tired of their litigation bull**
LOL its a sign that Android may win lol
Stupidest thing I've ever heard of!!!! Apple is off its rocker.
People that don't realize that this is an article from The Onion make me want to leave Earth...
Wow I would buy that IPhone ;)
Really?! I'm a fan-boy but who want's two phones that can't take voice calls?
Love the Onion! How many believers did it snag this time?
i'm gonna get like 5 more, one for each room of the house.
Of course this is fake. You know apple doesn't sell phones that work in your left hand. You're holding it wrong!
So.... they now make left handed phones?
+The Onion needs to publish using the sarcasm font which bends backwards, opposite of italics. People have become so lame they dont get satire anymore.
what do you mean, when i'm using it i'm thinking... what should i do with my left hand, look at him down there being so lazy.
Can I buy an extra hand for a third one -_-
+Arfat Ahmad I could only +1, alas there is no +infinity button.

Still ROFLing at the humour fails present on this comment thread - now what was the discussion about? Oh who cares....
Which hand do you answer first, if both ring at the same time? ;-)
Noehs H
Now I can finally multi task on my iPhone ... sweet
Apple is stupid. See you do not need two android devices to do what they are promoting add campaign looks like nothing more than desperation. Jobs is rolling over in his grave....
I think I pay enough for two iPhones as it is. No need to double my monthly bill with two more. Thanks but no thanks. 
Reading the comments on +The Onion's posts is more crazily hilarious than the post itself. What say?
Satire, people. SATIRE.

Cripes, the Facebook crowd would get it...
Apple is losing out to Samsung.
J Moore
I want one for both hands my two feet and one to wipe my ass! It is a fake news feed people! Get a grip! LMAO at those who still can't get it. Hell, I'll buy the world a apple isn't real news. Seen the Colbert report..come on my friends...
Man oh man. People are actually using boycottapple tag in an +The Onion post. The only thing that protects The Onion from being sued is that freedom of expression laws require the satirist to make the satire so lame that people recognize it as a work of satire instantly. What levels of lameness does The Onion have to stoop to now, to be below the levels of lameness of lame people? #culturedecline   #sadtimes   #moderntimes  
that has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard...
Seriously. Apple customers needs to take a good hard look and relies that their nothin but money grabbers and are only interested in Ur wallet. Why else would they bring out 2 different phones. That are.... Well the same. And also 3ipads that are....... Eh well the same. Seriously. Apple. U might have most ppl brain washed. But. We android users know what's right. And apple will never ever take over.
I love the Apple iPhone commercials they are really funny. 
J Moore
+Ross Watson. I think you are missing the joke, or you totally get it. I can't tell my ass from an ass in these Onion post comments. ;). 
Tim Cook has the same vision as Jim Balsilie had for RIM! Way to sell em Timmy! Rofl
LOL! Apple's way of Multi-tasking??? :P
Hay que estar muy quemado . . .
Get two iphones put a marshmallow n chocolate in the middle ismores :)
oh apple... you reek of desperation...
This seems pretty logical...given you can't truly multitask on an iPhone.
Apple has always tried to fool people into buying their products. Keep it stupid but simple. Now with Steve Jobs gone, the greatest commercial stage actor of all time - the sheen is off..
Sounds like a good idea! Now all we need is to add a loop, a chain and a nun chuck sound board and we have a pretty cool weapon/multi media device... Oh and phone 
Seems real enough to me!  I mean, I know it's satirical, but it could be true coming from apple!
Really....2 PHONES..... what a bunch of losers.. . . Thank god I have a Samsung Galaxy S3 in one hand so with my other hand I can give apple and their iPhone the middle finger!!!!!
Text with one hand and siri the other. Am sorry but how is he ment to masturbate over his 3 ipads and 9 iPods if his other had is filled with yet onther shite mobile phone. Simple solution to this. Sell Ur crap iPhones and swap it for a phone that is powerful to actually multi task.
Once again, in truth, The Onion rings.

<sips his gin & tonic>
At my college orientation last month, I saw a chick with an iPhone in one hand, iPad in the other, txting on the iPhone, Facebook on the iPad. God help us all.
I like the one I have.  Now, if I could get the 1000 + songs I want from them, "FREE" it would be nice.  Well, I can dream.
What next one for your pets. 
That's the Woz' solution to multi-tasking since way back. And completely laughable!
Haha, junk in stereo! Sorry Apple, even if it were true... two negatives don't make a positive. Maybe you would make more money letting people put Android on your ijunk, and just sell hardware like everyone else (samsung/lg/htc)!
goggle,  phones  are  taking over.
I need on to wipe my ass with ...iPhone rocks.
that's what it is called multitasking at Apple. Muhahahaa :D
That is pretty darn stupid. It's like saying why not get two android phones and we will now be able to have the power of the world on your fingertip not just the Internet. :( what a shame....
Holy Shit! The real funny thing is how many people here don't know satire! It's Hilarious :D
If I buy another iPhone, will I get stereo phone calls or call waiting?
No mum, don't even ask for another one..... Cos you ain't getting one..... Ok....
But now they will have to learn to hold the phone the right way with both hands :(  bummer.
That's why I buy an Android phone, it's true multi-tasking.
Yes, two phones is a must for dumb devices that cannot multitask properly.
Lol everything apple is a joke. If that company went down over night I don't see a single way the world would be affected negatively.
I bet Apple has a patent on this. ;-)
lol the Onion rocks.. actually ipad hanging in the neck as well.
im not suprised...seriously 
Perfect idea. Your left could text your right. It would annoy people less than talking to yourself. 
Onion is a faker.Apple product is the most excellent in the world.
oh sure. screw the starving children, and the people in the gutter. let's get another iphone.
Wow how many more phones do they think we need.
good lord jeremy porter do you ecxspect apple to help people in the gutter no. there gonna do what they were f@#%ing made to do. sell phones to gullable people
Mac attack....the lines have been drawn
Hahahaha xD This was way too funny!
Would this mean the right hand would know what the left hand is doing?
this is bullshit. the iphone gets overtaken by the android, so what does apple do? make its slaves buy a 2nd one
Do we actually NEED a phone other than the home one? Want yes (great marketing, isn't it?), Need in VERY limited cases...
Or you could just multitask on one phone...
What's utterly disappointing here, is the fact that all these Apple bashers don't recognize that this fake, while simultaneously calling Apple "stupid". Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
How are you supposed to use the iPad at the same time.... Oh my :$
If this is their great new marketing idea, they are sorely missing Steve Jobs, may he rest in peace.
People will do this. Apple users in general are sheep and do whatever the great Apple gods tell them to.
+Jason Schafer I have 2 for my wife and me, and an iMac. I gave my daughter a nano... !static interruption! WE THE APPLE USERS MUST INDOCTRINATE THE YOUTH!! YOUR ORDERS ARE TO ISSUE ONE OR MORE OF EACH MODEL TO EVERY LIVING BEING ON THE PLANET!! /unix command end of program/chmod return to uncoded transmission/
...for her birthday.
lol. Classic The Onion news.  Do post it on Apple sites, though.  They'll eagerly fall for it.
jajaja you need 2 iphones for true multitasking.....
Its The Onion... you people know its fake, right? 
I been thinkin about obtaining one, but when i give it deep thought, i feel as though that i am going to be heavily dependent on my PHONE.... MAKES ME WONDER... what happened to the simpler days
So you're going to do what, buy from the other PC makers? Who haven't been half as open as Apple to discussing those problems?
We hay have two hands, but we're not chameleons.
I was a iPhone junkie but when the Samsung Galaxy 3 came out the iPhone went to IJunk if you want the best phone on the market get the SG3 the phone just keeps getting better all the time
You folks, responding. You are smart enough to understand your replying to a post from the Onion right?
Apple has the same boring phone... People are moving along with Android. Where the options are limitless and more advanced.
Well, if it is a joke at all (with Apple it's hard to figure that out), it's copied from Google's April Fools Joke for 2012 :).

Chrome Multitask Mode
Any Appleboy will read this and instantly buy another iPhone. Granted.
HTC, Samsung are 2 strong contenders that Apple can not defeat. HTC One X, EVO 4G LTE, Galaxy S3..are far more superior devices
I knew it I felt so naked down with apple 
what happens if you have 8 arms that's a lot of iphones ;) Dharma would be proud.
wouldn't give apple one cent of my hard earned bux
As fake as this article is, one would feel that there is some truth to it here in the San Francisco bubble.
I know it's the onion, but this isn't that far fetched. Let's not forget the time apple made the iphone with a call drop glitch that occured any time you touched the the sides and apple's response was basically "Don't hold your phone like a phone" and acted like that wasn't insane.
I don't need iPhone, coz I have Galaxy nexus.
Hilarious at first, but now I'm sad. When I graduated high school they made sure I knew how to read before I got a diploma. It's almost as sad as the thread with a basic math problem that 95% of the comment section got incorrect. That one was sad, then hilarious because the 95% were talking mad trash, hurling insults at the ones with the correct answer.
Smh@ people not recognizing this is the Onion
It's the Onion. Everything is bullshit from them lol
F'ing ridiculous. First suing Samsung and now urging people to have a phone for each hand. BS!
I got the Samsung Galaxy S3 even with some of its features dumbed down it still clobbers the iPhone. Happy to see Sammy "win" in some of those stupid Apple lawsuits as well :D
Perfect solution for the person who just couldn't decide between black or white.
Ios may be pretty. But nearly useless compared to Android!
I rather have my galaxy note cause we all know girls love big.....hahaha
 I want to have my rooted android phone acting as a mobile wifi hotspot in one hand, while using my Nexus 7 in the other.  Satire lives  !
I knew it. After putting my coffee down, I always find my other hand quite idle. What a bullshit brilliant Idea
Having one iPhone in each pocket will balance the opposing forces of chaos and harmony and help you find your inner Tao.
Some of these comments make me think the Facebookers have now arrived on G+...

Who the hell doesn't know that +The Onion posts funny fake news stories?!? Have you been under a rock for 10 years?
After this...Apple is going to try to convince dumb people to buy phone for each foot. I do think the Apple would actually take Onion's idea.
Be careful has a patent on sarcasm
Even though its ONN this is something I would believe would happen
lol just a reminder, it's the Onion, which makes satirical articles
Is there a weight measuring app yet? Just stand on your phone it will tell you your weight.
APPLE - the MOST ridiculous company...

Never AGAIN - APPLE!!!
Is that absence of Steve Jobs or is it just me? 
If Apple did it the iSheep would buy a second iPhone.
I had two Iphones before this...
typical tho. so survey: what is the estimated global number of sheep by percentage, exposed to this ad that WILL BUY ANOTHER as a result of being told to do so? think about the money spent by apple for this campaign and the ad agency that produced it... they're both likely betting a significant budget on a good roi that might indicate a goodly percentage lemmings will do as they are told and fork out $$$ for yet another.
This is fake. There is no way anyone with common sense will purchase another iPhone. 
Never heard something so stupid in my life
It is the onion...know your source...

Really Apple?? Are you guys that out of ideas?? C'mon!! you people give me a break!
It's from the Onion.  It's a satire site; everything is fake, to make sly jokes about sad realities.
Never will bring IPhone.. I hate this phone.. Android is far better +Lebanon 
Apple also try to conquer the world but always fail.
Maybe this is their loophole to "real multitasking"
An apple a day apparently brings you closer to needing a doctor.
I think that Apple are desperate and resorting to litigation is a sure sign. Treat your customers with enough contempt and your competitors will soon benefit 
Thank you samsung... so I don't have to deal with the iPhone small a$# screen
some people are disabled.  if you don't believe me, then ask your other hand.  
Two iPhones = a real smartphone ;)
That makes sense...have 2 iphones so you don't have a free hand to buy a real phone, an android. Or better yet, save money from buying 2 iphones and just buy a nexus or razr maxx hd :).
Idc if people think android has taken over, I'm reading this on my iPhone4 and I'm loving it! The iPhone will always have haters, just like iPhone fans hate androids! 
Aah.. this is why it never fixed the multi-tasking. Now it all makes sense!
Jay Tee
Haha....ALMOST.....fell for it.
Stupid. Save your money. Who needs to spend $650 just so you save 10 seconds between texting and siri. If you have siri then you'll pay full price for the second phone because you won't be eligible for your subsidized upgrade yet. Hadn't been out long enough. Apple should take some of their moldy money and feed a few entire 3rd world countries. They have enough
WOW, if I start to see people with 2 iPhone's I'm going to be amazed at their stupidity. 
CEO sharing that idea? from to Stupid to Stupid advices only.
The reason why their sales are low is because everyone is waiting for the new iPhone?!? Instead of trying to get people to buy another 4s, just release the new one, simples!
this is stupid. may run over by some vehicle or walk into something. Apple seems to lost the direction after Jobs.
I hope you all know that The Onion News Network is fake, and just posts jokes.
The best part of +The Onion posts on google + are the comments. I love when people think it's real. Makes me smarterererer. Thank you commenters that don't get it. My Mensa score jumps higher each time one of you little angels gets your wings. 
Oh wait. I have to add. People who exclaim it's fake??? Now I'm smartererererer. Gracias
Keep in mind people this is THE ONION... Not exactly a credible source. 
the onion is more credible than many news sources
LOL! I'm sure many apple users will follow the order!!!
Is this a joke?? Why would I cough up for a second iPhone Apple???!
You can use the second as horn so cars don't run you over while your texting on the other
it seems like their sales are down.whats the second one for?
Next thing you know they'll want people to grow a third hand for a third iPhone

Can you say greed
I DID NOT LIKE THE ONES I had why would I get another they are crap Samsung androids are much better (Note)
Bcoz it doesn't do multitasking very well, that's y they need another phone in hand?
You all missed the point. Who carries two or more phones?
Pimps & drug dealers. So, Apple are aiming at this market obviously... (the above comments are as tongue in cheek as the original article.)
I bet cops will love that idea too, specially when driving !! lol
Kain nahi saheb.....badhaa c*&^%$ banavana dhandha.... didn't expect such silly S&^% from Apple.
i read "...urging users to buy a second hand iphone..."
Ya, but what's their strategy for people with only one hand?
Steve K
Or people with No hands!  :) 
This just tells me apple is worried about their future. I feel for apple customers, I hope they don't fall for this.
tbm 123
This Is True Multitasking! Lol
No surprise.. this is Apple Attitude
Wow that's pathetic! Haha xD this goes against their whole point of multitasking!
I think we should buy an iPhone for each day of the week
This is another "The Onion is a parody newspaper" comment: The Onion is a parody newspaper. This public service has been brought to you by everyone who gets it.
Oh onion news, how i love your sense of humor.
To every one who says "It is fake!"... it is still a more reliable news sorce then Fox News...

And The Onion has made some wieard, almost freaky close, predictions, almost like they realy have been to the future, and put references to it in there reporting.
Tin Bui
I got tired of waiting for the IPhone5 so I traded my IPhone4S in for the SamSung S3
I went though hell getting my music transfer from Itune over to the S3. Music that I paid for with the bullshit DRM were problematic.
All that is behind me now and the Super AMOLED not as sharp as Retina but the 4.8 is very nice.
So after all that do you think I'm going back to Apple when the 5 comes out? ....... NOT.
Apple running out of ideas ... I believe the coming future will be for android which has got lots to do and their OS open source which makes things easy! Not like Apple!! You paid for the device but the control still with them !!! Stupid 
I'm almost leaving my iPhone 4s and will get the Nexus .. Beautiful device and will shortly have the new software Jellybean 4.1 from google :) fed up with Apple, sine 2007 the iPhone still with same interface !!!! Ugly 
O got nexus phone so not bothert on I sheep ops I meen I Phone ;))
That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard of. I'll tell you one thing, the way that company is going, it's gonna be bankrupt within a year and a half. Which is fine by me.
Why no have one for every day of the week? At the over priced Apple products Apple should be looking for ways to reduce the price of the iPhone so we can afford one. If it wasn't for Cydia my iPhone would be gone. 
Dumbest thing i heard. Apple need to build an OS to truly multitask. Life is about going hand free. This idea sound backwards. Failed
Not a bad idea. I could strap both to my hands and pretend I'm iron man!
You see, that's the problem with iPhone.. you need two of them to get anything done. With Android you have All-in-one.
Apple was earlier the best smartphone makes when der is no good compitetr in market. so apple jst earn money frm everythng they hv in iphone bt nw the true strong rivals r der in market. Who gives everythng dat iphone hv bt in less price. I thnk android give more than an costly iphone give to users. Android gives freedom to do nythng wid ur device dat apple never gives to its users. Dats d truth :|
Maybe the reason for the left hand iphone is then you have a back up when your right hand iphone stop's working
Why do we need so much technology!!??? Mind u, I'm pretty goood with it all, but seriously!!!!!!
if Apple does it then Samsung will follow....
I need Samsung Galaxy S3 for my other hand because I don't have time for Ifuck
Lol. What a bunch of twats.
I can just imagine all the Apple fans buying two just because Apple told them too. I guess there is one positive - all the iSheep will finally realise what it's like to truly multi-task. :D
That's insane one is more than enough!!!
Sword of Zeus! that's ridiculous!
What a great idea maybe they'll go for buy 1 get 1 free if they really want to help their customers not just rip them off even more!!
Brings new meaning to - on the one hand; in the other hand 
T Brown
Hmmm sorry I don't plan on owning TWO of ANY device. Will I be getting the 2nd device for FREE?
I have lost my facbook and cannot log back in any ideas.
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