Shared publicly  - 
43
7
Tero Paananen's profile photoKevin J. Chen's profile photoWilliam Gutches's profile photoRaide Andrade's profile photo
12 comments
 
In for Capt. Crunch having gonorrhea and scurvy from his adventures on the high seas.
 
"I guess I've always just eaten the cereal without really thinking about what the bee guy's backstory was,” Honey Nut Cheerios consumer Brandon Faulkner said. “If anything, I assumed he was just, like, a bee who liked honey or something, not whatever this weird new story is."

"But the cereal still tastes good,” Faulkner added.

HAHAHAHA!
 
Seriously? What does a Honey Bee need with a Back Story? WHO are they trying to reach?
 
I'm glad corporations have finally realized that their cartoon characters are more than 2-dimensional mascots designed to hawk products. What sort of terrible unspoken trauma could have occurred so many years ago to make Sonny cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? Perhaps now we will understand, and with the understanding will come healing.
 
Why does the bee need a new back story? Is he going to run for office, but had too many skeletons in his closet?
 
You guys understand that it's a parody, right? The Onion is satire.
 
Eventually I will believe that the Onion is all parodoxical but for now...
 
So he, is OBVIOUSLY an English teacher of some sort, no-one else could make up a story like that :yaoming:
Add a comment...