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Jaym Esch
Works at Starbucks as a Professional Customer
Attended Michigan State University
Lives in Lansing, MI
68 followers|22,743 views
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Jaym Esch

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Jaym Esch

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It still doesn't make sense to me. I am disabled from anxiety disorder. Nothing has worked for over 23 years. I've tried every form of meditation, breathing, exercise. It is permanent. Now, I've been unemployed 13 years, officially disabled the last year. I am not allowed to have more than $2,000 at any time. I get aid in the form of 1/8th of my prior monthly salary. I get 2 1/2 weeks worth of food stamps per month. I can not work again, because of how society mandates our work schedules and environments. There is no way for me to change my circumstances.

When I did have my career, I worked 8 straight years, 7 days a week,10-24 hour days. I missed my two primary decades- 20s and 30s- and now am too old to date, or ever have a wife and family. I am not attracted to women my age, and society has conditioned younger women to be disgusted by older men (unless rich). I've now been alone 18 years. I will be alone for life. Due to not having kids and passing on my DNA and morals to them, I have failed life as I view it. When I die, I will be instantly forgotten by the world and never impacted it.

So I've been called having a victim mentality before. What exactly can come from "enlightenment"? How can thought improve what can't change? I can't think society to be different than how it functions, and I can never return to the working circus that so many comply with. What "ah-ha!" moment can I have? Sounds to me like suicide would be the only logical conclusion, but I wouldn't do that. I can always waste the days away playing computer games, far better than not existing!



Jaym Esch

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Great vid, and if you don't mind an older guy saying... you look amazing as a blonde! Anyways, something soothing about a haircut like this! Well done. 

Jaym Esch

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Why would I agree to be part of a contract that has left me alone for the majority of life, including the remainder, which will by nature of my age and circumstances will be spent alone, since society frowns on 10-20 year age gaps, and I am unattracted to women my age? I would never agree to live out the life I was given going into it knowing I'd be alone and unwanted. Something with the contract theory doesn't make sense, unless you aren't given choice, which leads to a "source" that is evil.

Jaym Esch

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Fabulous blouse!

Jaym Esch

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The Globetrotters have lost plenty of games, although they tend to go on roughly 2,000 game winning streaks. One of their recent loses was in 2000 to my alma mater and the then reigning NCAA Champions, Michigan State University! Yep, the Spartans even beat the mighty globetrotters. Basketball is something we do quite well here in almost Canada. =P
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Jaym Esch

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I get stuck on 3 points.

The first is food. I can not spend the time "cooking" (and/or all associated tasks- preparing, cleaning up, etc.) The foods to avoid shown are meals- like, pasta or fast food, etc. The good things to eat are ingredients, not meals. They are also more perishable, for instance, I can't eat a banana or bread, or drink milk after two days. I subsequently can't go to the store every two days. Therefore, I can't figure out how to eat and default to bad food (mostly fast food once a day, then a pre-packaged salad or pasta-type TV dinner later). Don't know how to eat healthy without wasting two hours a day on "cooking" tasks.

Second issue is relationships. I have been alone 17 years, and can I'm too old to date now (since I am attracted to women ~15 years younger than me, and society has programmed women to find that age gap repulsive). Still, I could have friends but I don't know how. I can't go places or "hang out" like people do. I don't like outdoor activities, and I don't "party". Sitting around talking is one of the most boring things ever. I'm a gamer, but most people my age (43) are not interested, so I have nothing to do with them. Even still, I go to Starbucks daily, and have for ten years- no one has ever introduced themselves and made friends in all that time. Because I'm older, I'm invisible. I can never change my age, so I get stuck on that massively. I am NOT my age. I view myself as like 27, not 43.

Last issue I get stuck on is the last point made about taking thoughts off of the feeling that you are controlled by life. I get the examples to not think of, but since I truly believe society does control things, I don't understand what I could think of that makes me feel like I have control- I never feel that way. Everything I need to operate as I would like ideally is not allowed by society. There are too many demands- deadlines, contracts, bills, clothes, etc., that are the same in all settings. I agree it's about certainty- my issue is a have to know I can meet those demands, and since I can't be certain I can, I can't function. So, I don't know how to feel in control- I don't believe I am, ever.

Jaym Esch

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I always love your Deep Ssundee intros, but this was one of my favorites yet. Great joke. =D

Jaym Esch

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Nowadays (at least here in America) vibrant hair colors are pretty normal. Yes, admittedly it's less common for guys, but even then in any given week I see at least one guy with blue, purple, red, green, or pink in their hair to one degree or another. I personally used to always dye my hair different shades of blonde and brown (black, once!) growing up, but can't afford it any longer (it washes out WAY faster than you think) so now I'm stuck with dirty blonde and lots of grey and white (I'm not bald, but I am greying super fast!)

Enjoy the difference, and have fun with it. Anyone who may be offended is conservative, and conservatives aren't worth your time anyways- their job is to hate anything that doesn't fit in the 1800s. Just ignore 'em! Also: Purple rocks.

Jaym Esch

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Such a story makes one really sad over the billions of lives that are now insane from the eternal torture of Hell, all because they lived before the creation of Christianity only 2,000 years ago, and the all-knowing, all-knowing, all-powerful God made a tiny mistake (wait, how do you do that ifall-knowing?) of not having Christianity, the "real" religion, available for all humans that ever lived, thus dooming all those people. But they were probably not loved by Him as much (even though he's all-loving?) Then again, this is the same God that will not provide concrete proof of existence for the intellectuals He created, therefore cooking them, since it makes no rational sense to randomly believe in something of which there's no proof.)

Such a sad story, when you actually think.

Jaym Esch

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3:57 Fun trivia: This is a repurposed love song Pewds wrote for Marzia. The only difference in the lyrics is he substituted Marzia's name with Edgar's. Wait h them back to hear the original song!

Jaym Esch

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I used to play MtG tons in the mid to late 90s when I lived in Chicago. Now when I hear the name I frown and get sick to my stomach because I have tried to sell my collection's nothing amazing, but thousands of cards including some cards I bought individually at $40 a piece (in particular two elephant graveyards). Also a collector's case and life wheel and some oversized card set that changes the rules overall. About $4500 worth of cards, and no one will buy the collection for $250. I mean, the reason I got into it partly was, it's collectible- collectible items should always go UP in value, not have no one willing to pay a fraction of the cost.

Love the game, regret wasting my money.
People
Have him in circles
68 people
Amber Dawson's profile photo
Abhinav Raj's profile photo
Rachel PoPachel's profile photo
Hoye Boyz's profile photo
Nonnonnsetain Tomg's profile photo
Jim Valentine's profile photo
Aaliyah Catriona's profile photo
Gen Bautista's profile photo
Daniel Goldberg's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Unemployed
Employment
  • Starbucks as a Professional Customer
    Customer Supreme, present
  • SPX Corporation
    Multimedia Developer, 2000 - 2002
  • Sphere
    Multimedia Developer, 1999 - 2000
  • Click2Learn (nee Asymetrix)
    Multimedia Developer, 1998 - 1999
  • Adams Consulting Group
    Virtual Reality Developer, 1995 - 1998
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Lansing, MI
Previously
Holt, MI - Chicago, IL - Westmont, IL - Canton, MI
Links
YouTube
Other profiles
Story
Tagline
Ex-virtual reality developer. Prince idolater. Creative soul. F/SF Author. Silly. Llama.
Introduction
Ex-virtual reality developer. Creative soul. (Unpublished) sci-fi/fantasy author. Amateur photographer. Blogger. Gamer. Prince idolater. Progressive. Druid. Silly. Llama.
Bragging rights
Former award winning virtual reality developer. Mensa level IQ. Druid.
Education
  • Michigan State University
    Telecommunications, 1994
  • Holt High School
    Honors College Prep, 1990 - 1994
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Looking for
Friends, Dating, A relationship, Networking
Birthday
February 8
Relationship
Single
Other names
Jon Esch, Jaymie Esch
Apps with Google+ Sign-in
  • RISK: Big Screen Edition
  • AlphaBear
  • Sentinels of the Multiverse
  • Star Trek Timelines
  • Mage & Minions
  • Star Wars: Commander
  • Cooking Dash
  • Chess Free
  • Dice With Buddies™
  • My Singing Monsters DawnOfFire
  • MARVEL Contest of Champions
  • Dice With Buddies™ Free
  • Star Wars Capital
  • Clash of Clans
  • Monster Legends
  • Cooking Fever
  • Gamebanjo
  • Restaurant City Debug
  • Clash Royale
Jaym Esch's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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