Stephen explains the Petraeus scandal:

"A decorated war hero has an affair with his own sexy biographer

… who thinks the spy master is stepping out on her with a second girlfriend

…. so she sends an email from a secret account saying "step off or I will cut a bi-atch."

…. and the second hottie freaks out and contacts her friends, FBI agents, who launch an investigation,

… but gets pulled off the case because he sexed her a shirtless photo.

… The spy mastery protégé, also a general, has sent thousands of e-mails to the second woman.

This isn't just a love triangle, folks. It's a love pentagon." -- Stephen Colbert
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