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"Well I'm sorry, Oprah. We may be friends, but I'm not playing into your little PR stunt. If you will not tell us what happened between you and Lance, I have a responsibility as a journalist to make something up. Ladies and gentlemen, this just in: Lance Armstrong is banging Oprah!" -- Stephen Colbert

Full episode:
Kyle Acosta's profile photoLinda Ewusi's profile photoJeff Scatliff's profile photoThirtyk Ninetyfour's profile photo
I wish all you comedians would get off of Lance's back. So he cheated.  Who doesn't?  If we want to beat the world we will need expert cheats, liars, swindlers, bag men and while it hasn't come out yet, Bunny Haters too.  Damn you Lance for your rational fear of bunnies. Needle point anyone?
"Allegedly banging Oprah" let's you avoid the slander lawsuits.
The real question I want answered, Did he need performance enhancing drugs to allegedly bang Oprah?
We "were mesmerized and riveted" says Oprah, but you'll have to tune in to see why! I have a better idea. How about I NOT tune in, and then try as hard as I can to avoid hearing about it, at which I will no doubt fail.
I think all ugly bag of dirty secrets of the cycling will fall out quite soon. Let's be realistic - Lance Armstrong could do it because tons of other cyclists did it. If both sides have to lose, they will be silent. As Lance don't have nothing to lose anymore, he will spill beans.

In same time it would be very nice to discuss why professional sports has gone so wrong, or even more - could it be really different with profit as main motivator.
Lance, you aerodynamic bastard.  Leave my newsroom!  THIS INSTANT! was fast.
I can't believe that any one would say this is not journalism.
we've always known that Lance was strong now we know his exercise secret! XD
Jay Vo
this just in : Lance armstrong has Jungle Fever!!!  lol
And as the reader I must believe every word he says. WHAT!?
this guy is epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A publicity stunt - that's what this Oprah/Armstrong media muffle is. Sorry my arse.
"If you ain't cheating you ain't trying!"
Give the guy a break. Cheating is when you do something no one else is doing. All professional athletes do steroids or have done it at least once. Lane Armstrong was harpooned by the media because of his fame. It was all just a game of king of the hill. 
+Jeff Scatliff Doesn't excuse his constant lying, or his actions against anyone who said he was using steroids before we knew he used. He ruined people to keep his secret and reputation intact, and he thinks that just because he's gone on Oprah his actions are erased? No he needs to be punished both by the law and the people he has lied to for so long. At this point I really couldn't care if someone shot him in the face.
+Nat Crichton what was he supposed to do? Admit it and ;lose everything regardless? And he didn't ruin anyone, any other pro athlete out there who says they haven't done steroids is a liar. You're reacting like he killed someone; I for one don't think he deserves to be shot in the face. 
+Jeff Scatliff actually he did ruin peoples lives. after they accused him of using he sued them for defamation, taking their money, because of the case those people couldn't work and they lost their jobs, because they didnt have an income coming in they lost their houses and they still had to pay him after the case was over so they had to file for bankruptcy which severely impacted their credit so they could not get loans to help and thus their lives are ruined. That is what he did and deserves every bit of misery that will ever come his way. let him get cancer again for all i care if he dies i wont miss him.
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