"Mitt's gonna keep those promises. I know, because I have his day one schedule right here:

Jan 20th, 2013

8am-noon -- Inauguration
12:30 -- Appoint cabinet
1:00 -- Take photo for White House ID card
1:07 -- Retake photo
1:45 -- Repeal Obamacare
2:30 -- Examine remains of Roswell aliens
3:00 -- Unwrap Oval Office label maker
3:15 -- Label China a currency manipulator
4:00 -- Pick nuclear launch codes -- (Maybe zip codes plus Ann's birthday?)
6:00 -- Take down Biden's old Erik Estrada posters
6:15 -- Get everyone in America a job
8:00 -- Activate self-deportation
9:00 -- Immigration solved
10:00 -- With presidency completed, resign and attend an inauguration of President Ryan." -- Stephen Colbert http://on.cc.com/QwuV1M
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